Today I am sharing a post and some journal entries that I wrote but never published back in 2008 when I was seven weeks sober, the journal entries I am sharing were written the week before I quit drinking.
(If you were looking for the books Seven Weeks to Sobriety that I previously wrote a post about, you find it here)
Seven Weeks Sober
“A Good Day” – (Written September 7th 2008)
I woke up at 7:00am and read for an hour. Then I ran for 51 minutes, my longest run yet! Not bad considering it’s a Sunday. Even better because I feel great and I feel healthy. I have a bunch of things I want to do and get organized for the coming week and more importantly, I really want to get the most from today and not waste a second!”
So the above post written at seven weeks sober is pretty incredible to me, I remember how good I felt, I NEVER want to forget that and I want more of it.
What follows is what I wrote in a journal while I was still actively drinking alcohol just one week before I quit drinking alcohol.
One Week Before I Stopped Drinking
July 20th 2008
- “I feel rather depressed, I have gone introvert”
- “I feel like I have done so much bad that there is no changing or healing this. I am feeling the feeling of getting out, to where I have no idea”
- “I bought 3 bottles of wine and I have drunk them over the course of the day. I still feel like having more”
It is amazing for me to read what I wrote down just 7 weeks ago. I was such a mess and I could not see a way out. A way out was what I wanted and thankfully I didn’t get it. Today I am just feeling so overwhelmed with gratitude that I can experience normal feelings about enjoying the day and looking forward to tomorrow. I have come a long way in a short space of time. I have left the darkness behind me and I am walking in the light every day now. I don’t know how I am going to feel throughout the rest of the day but whatever happens today, one promise that I am making to myself is that I will not drink.
Present Day: August 18th 2012
Reading this draft is incredible, it reminds me of the hope and possibilities that exist within during the early days of sobriety.
The first few years of sobriety are without a doubt extremely difficult but there are also moments throughout when you experience immense exhilaration. As hard as sobriety is, being able to not drink just for one day is an incredible accomplishment that no non-alcoholic person will ever understand. When you stop and think just what you have accomplished every day that you stay sober, you get to bask in the knowledge that all things are possible. That is what I see in myself back then. How about you? Have you stopped for a minute to truly acknowledge and appreciate the possibilities for you?