I am baring everything right now whether it makes sense or not..I am reading Rick Warren’s book ‘The Purpose Driven Life’, I love it and it triggers this urge within me to write and try and make sense of what I am feeling. In fact, this is what sobriety has been about for me; trying to make sense of life and trying live a new life. Anyway, for good or bad I am sharing some more of my ramblings this time about money issues;
For such a long time I have thought that to make money or to desire wealth is to be somewhat greedy and not sincere of what life is truly about. This has been even more so since becoming a Christian again. Every time I think about success or making money or wanting to live the good life, I am then countered with this feeling of guilt. It has somewhat plagued me. In fact, thinking about money, I have always had a very flippant attitude, I was always determined that money was something that should be given freely, that you shouldn’t be stingy, that money shouldn’t rule you. Well, I still believe that somewhat but thankfully I have a better understanding of money now.
This morning I was driving to work and I had an insight, I just love those moments, when your thoughts come together and you make sense of something that has been puzzling you for ages. I realize now that God has given us all special abilities, gifts and interests and he wants us to use them for the good of others. We are supposed to serve using all of these gifts from God. I had this vision of being a Christian that I could not reconcile with money. My vision was that I kind of needed to give up everything, tear off my clothes, give away all of my possessions, abandon my beauty routine and highlights and literally stalk the earth preaching from the bible and asking everyone to come with me and follow me. I never could quite get my mind around it all. Part of that may come from some of my old trait of being ‘all or nothing’.
So my insight has enlightened me, now I can see clearly that we do all have special gifts, abilities and interests whether we see them in ourselves or not, they are there. Our duty is to recognize them and start using them to serve in any capacity that we can identify. As Rick Warren says in his book, The Purpose Driven Life’ you need to experiment with serving in order to find out what you are good at and what you enjoy. If you don’t how would you know. If you always do what you have always done how do you know if you are good at anything else.
This insight is exciting for me at this stage of my so because I can’t get enough of new experiences, I have come to a place where I feel like there is a whole world to discover and I want to do as much as I can to experience it. I want to visit new places, meet new people, learn new facts, read different magazines, take up new hobbies and really live the best life I can live for both myself and my family. This is truly an exciting place to be at.
It makes sense to me that if you do what you love and you enjoy it, and you share it with others then success will naturally follow. I have read this and heard this many many times but for the first time I truly understand what it means and how it can affect the outcome of the rest of my life.