Drinking is not a problem for me anymore. This might be boring for those of you who are newly sober or trying to get sober but I’m going to share anyway because if you get to 8 years sober you might relate.
There was a time when I wondered what the heck I was going to do to keep busy when I stopped drinking, suddenly I had all this time on my hands. I wasn’t sitting around for hours drinking and chatting anymore, I no longer needed to ease in to my weekends due to hangovers, my days were endless at first and I was kind of clueless as to how to spend them, so much so that I literally planned every day during my first days of sobriety, it worked too and I recommend you do that. But now, all these 8 years later, I have so many interests I am almost overwhelmed. I guess at this stage of sobriety you start to realize the havoc that alcohol has caused to your brain.
Although I lived a pretty busy life all throughout my drinking years, there were a lot of things I missed out, I tended to go and do wherever and whatever included alcohol, I tended to avoid places as much as possible if I couldn’t drink because it caused me great anxiety to simply live sober, I know now that alcohol was a huge factor in increasing my anxiety, since I stopped drinking and began living a different lifestyle my anxiety has become minimal.
Anyhow, I have interests in so many things but excellence and focus in none. I write this blog and since quitting drinking I write frequently but rarely publish. I have learnt a little about computer programming, Html and CSS. I am an avid photographer and have taken a few online classes , I have framed some of my pics and have thousands saved in the cloud but again, I haven’t really taken it in a focused direction. I exercise and work out and know a ton about health and nutrition, weight gain and weight loss, I’m in pretty good shape but still could be better, I seem to self sabotage when I get close to getting in the best shape ever. I have a small online business which does ok but again, it could be so much better. I love interior design, rehabbing old furniture and decorating, I’ve done a ton of it. I’ve worked in different industries over the years but haven’t made a career, part of me gets frustrated with myself but another tells me that this is part of my sobriety path, I making up for lost time and rediscovering who I am so I should relax and go with it.
When I was younger, I didn’t finish college by a couple of months, what an idiot, I kick myself about it now but back then I was in the depths of social anxiety and drinking huge amouts of beer to stay afloat. I should really have got a degree by now, but I never committed to it. I haven’t given up on the idea, infact I have done so many online courses I think I should be awarded an honary one!
I guess I could have worse problems that the ones I just shared! If you wanted a glimpse into long term sobriety well here it is, I shouldn’t complain really, I’ll take these problems over the ones I was creating 8 years ago anyday.
My main problem today is where to focus my efforts, writing, photography, ecommerce , get really into physical fitness or go back to college and get a degree or certification in something. I’ll figure it out I’m sure.
Well, I am going to bed, it’s 10:48pm, my house is clean, my desk is organized, my nails are done, I had an amazing weekend for Mother’s Day, life is pretty good. Sobriety does work. I hope you get the chance to experience it.