If you are sober or thinking about getting sober, here is another valuable tool for your sobriety kit; Klove radio station.

Listen to Christian Sobriety Music.

Listen to Klove radio station in the car, at work or at home. The songs are so inspiring. If somebody recommended this to me a few years ago, I would have laughed. But now, I can’t stop recommending it to others. The music is great, very trendy and catchy. Each song carries its own message about God, Jesus, life, and sobriety.

Give it a try and take a look at their website too. There is a special area for prayer requests, staff pastors will pray for you. You can pray for others too.

Who would have thought it? Nearly two years sober and listening to Christian music every day. I can’t explain what the music does to your mind once you start listening, other than to say it makes you feel really good.

If you are already a fan then good for you. If not, click here and give it a try. I know that you are going to be pleasantly surprised.

“Alcohol And Substance Abuse Will Not Take Away Your Fears” is a guest post by Stanley Popovich.

Alcohol and substance abuse or any other addictions will not take away your problems and fears.
In the short run, they might make you feel better, but in the long run these addictions will only make things worse.

So what do you do to make your problems and fears go away? Well, since you can’t runaway from them, then the best solution is to tackle your fears head on no matter how strong they may be. The key is to be smart in how you try to manage these fears. Here are some ways in how to manage your persistent fears and anxieties.

The first step is to learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.

Remember that no one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the last few months. Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember: we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that makes you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel depressed or frustrated, open up your small notebook and read those statements. This will help to manage your negative thinking.

Be smart in how you deal with your fears and anxieties. Do not try to tackle everything all at once. When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, break the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

The important thing is to get the proper help by seeing a professional. Avoiding your problem through the use of alcohol or other substances will do nothing in the long run in fixing your problems. It will just make things worse. Managing your fear and anxieties will take some hard work. Be patience, persistent and stay committed in trying to solve your problem.

BIOGRAPHY:

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods” – an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: managing fear.com 

Throughout my sobriety I have read extensively; mainly books about sobriety, personal development, and success.

Now I am on a journey through the Bible. I will be sharing useful information that relates to sobriety in a series of posts called  “Sobriety Bible”.

These are wise words. They were written some time back in 960 B.C by Soloman, Agur and Lemuel, according to Jewish tradition.

The Bible that I am reading from is the “New Living Translation”.

Proverb 4. There is so much to glean from this Proverb. I love it. The title is ‘A Father’s Wise Advice’.

Proverbs 4:25 – Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you
Proverbs 4:26 – Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path
Proverbs 4:27 – Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil

This just speaks to me. It is so relevant in sobriety.  This is my interpretation;

Don’t look back, look forward, focus on today and what the future brings
Visualize the sober life ahead of you and follow the vision
Know what will sidetrack you and stay away from it. The “evil” is alcohol.

Another part of Proverb 4 that I like is:

Proverb 4:5 – Get Wisdom; develop good judgment.
Proverb 4:6 -Don’t turn your back on wisdom for she will protect you.
Love her, and she will guard you.
Proverb 4:7 -Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!
And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.

When I was an active alcoholic, I think I lacked good judgment and wisdom. I did not live life using my greatest potential, nor did I make wise decisions. My judgment was affected, so was my understanding about life in general.
Alcohol changed my perception about life;  it had stripped my ability to live a really powerful life. Can you relate?

What is Wisdom? The definitions according to the Encarta Dictionary are:

1. Good Sense – the ability to make sensible decisions and judgments based on personal knowledge and experience
2. Wise decision – good sense shown in a way of thinking judgment, or action
3. Accumulated learning – accumulated knowledge of a sphere of activity that has been gained through experience

When talking about wisdom, we are also talking about; understanding, perception insight, knowledge, astuteness, intelligence, acumen, good judgment.

What is Good Judgment? The definitions according to the Encarta Dictionary are:

1. Judgment – discernment or good sense – the ability to form sound opinions and make sensible decisions or reliable guesses
2. Act of making statement – in logic, the mental act of making or understanding a positive or negative proposition about something

Whether you believe in God or not, I think these words can add meaning to your life.

Welcome to Sobriety and the Bible, or my Sobriety Bible!

This is a new avenue for me. It surprises me in some ways but it excites me too.

I have been sober for 18 months; I did not join a specific alcohol recovery group, instead, I have researched Women for Sobriety, A.A, and creative methods of recovery. I seem to have taken something from everything that is available and I have created my own way, it may sound unusual but my way seems to be working.

About six months ago, I began to pray more, it was instinctive, I can’t quite explain why other than to say I became more concious about a Higher Power, prayer and thought.

I have found a strength within myself that I never knew before and my life has improved dramatically in many areas. When I look back and define what changes have made the biggest impact in my life, I would have to say that it has come from prayer, an interest in a Higher Power, and my interest in the Bible.

One evening, I had the idea to start Sobriety Bible; the idea was to share what I find in the Bible that relates to living a sober life after alcoholism.

I don’t know where this will lead or if what I have to say will be appreciated. Everyone has their own religious beliefs and people can be very set in their own ways. I am not a theologian or an expert in this field so what I say is nothing more than my own opinion. Regardless of that, I am going to do my exploring and sharing because that is the way I feel I am being pulled.

I don’t go to church and I was not raised by a heavily religious family, I did however have some strong influences in my life, family members who were believers and very much a part of the church.

When I was a teen, I changed from someone who used to say prayer’s every night, to a teenager who forgot about God. I pushed aside everything to do with God and I didn’t give him much thought for a very long time except to blame him for whatever was going wrong in my life.

I began drinking alcohol heavily in my teens and my problems surmounted from there. Heavy drinking, lack of thought about God didn’t lead me to living my best life.

So, here I am today, interested in living my best life and wanting to share my journey through the Bible. If you think this sounds interesting or if you have something to offer, please stick around and introduce yourself.

There is no doubt that alcohol recovery is an arduous journey. Some days during my sobriety, I have found it really useful to keep a list of some of my favorite sobriety quotes handy. I often come across sobriety or inspirational quotes that resonate with me for one reason or another, when that happens I jot them down before I forget.

Here are my sobriety quotes, inspirational quotes and quotes that I just like;

‘Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence’

‘Take action to do the things that make you happy, with the people who make you happy, and to be happy with the person you are now’

First survive. Then thrive.

Keep your eye on the prize — while you do what it takes to survive – Millionaire Mommy Next door.

“He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.”
– Tao Te Ching

“If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning ‘good morning’ at total strangers.”

- Maya Angelou, Poet, Writer and Performer

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.  ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.  ~Oscar Levant

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.  ~Jean Kerr

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.  ~Winston Churchill

“Success is the art of going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

~Dr. Suess~

“You can have anything you want, if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, if you hold that desire with singleness of purpose.”

–Abraham Lincoln

“What other people think of you is none of your business”

“When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”

–Theodore Roosevelt

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.”

–T.S. Eliot

“Obstacles are those frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals.”

–Henry Ford

“Up, sluggard, and waste not life–there’ll be rest enough in the grave.”
Benjamin Franklin

Learn the art of changing your mind from failure consciousness to success consciousness – Napoleon Hill

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Zen Proverb

You can think and grow rich - 
I’ll want it and I’ll have it

Drag yourself out of depression. Try courage – do something different even though you don’t want to or do not have the energy to do it. Do it anyway and reward yourself for being courageous. Susan McMahon Ph.D – The portable Therapist

Change your behaviors and your feelings will follow – Susan McManhon

You can not control your feelings, it is a futility to try. Focus on accepting your feelings without fear and practice controlling your expressions of these feelings. There is time between the awareness of what you are feeling and your behavior. Begin noticing this time period.

There is no need for an instant reaction

“If you knew how powerful a negative thought was you would never have another”

unwanted tasks are the the #1 cause of your productivity problems.If you only did things you wanted to do, you’d probably be the most productive person in the world.

NEVER GIVE UP. Resolve here and now that you will keep moving forward until you have reached your goal. By Steven Barnes – lifewrite.com

Believe in your own strengths and see your true value.  It is a key to success, without this ability, you won’t believe in yourself. – Zen Habits. (I edited this!)

‘I yam what I yam, and that’s all I yam’ Popeye. (I am what I am, take it or leave it)

As Steve Jobs said, never settle. If you find something that’s just a bit better than your current job, that’s better … but don’t stop there. Keep looking. Don’t give up the search.

“The wise person listens to everyone and thanks them for their opinion. Then he sends them away and does what he thinks best” Confucius.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown

Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life.

Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.”

–        Lao Tzu (Taoist philosopher)

To attract other people you must be attractive

Work harder on yourself than you do on your job

People look on the outside, God looks on the inside

Be smart, be wise, Be strong but not rude

What is troubling you? Not what’s wrong with you!

Do you suffer from social anxiety?
Do you use alcohol to make social events manageable?
Has your alcohol consumption increased because of social anxiety?
Are you an alcoholic or are you socially anxious?

I suffered with severe social anxiety for many years, from my late teens until fairly recently. I thought that social anxiety was something that I was going to suffer with for the rest of my life; I believed it was a part of me, possibly genetic, and something that I would have to get used to forever.

For years I used alcohol to self medicate, I knew that alcohol would take the edge off the anxiety, alcohol allowed me to function on many different levels. Without alcohol, I was unable to do the most basic of things, such as look someone in the eye.

Today, I am a different person than I was 18 months ago. The social anxiety that ruled my life is practically non-existent. I can walk into a room with two people or a room with a thousand people, not only can I cope with it, I enjoy it, too.

I have done many things that have contributed to my success in overcoming social anxiety, I have spent a huge amount of time working on increasing my self esteem and confidence, I have also spent time with a therapist and resolved many issues that were a problem for me, I have read tons of books and learnt about addiction and the many problems it causes, and I have learnt how to cultivate enthusiasm and inspiration for life.

Here are some resources that have helped me;

The Social Anxiety Institute (SAI) has been in my sights for a long time, I absorbed everything on the website including watching the videos. You can also see the videos on YouTube if you search for them. I really wanted to go to one of the programs for treatment but it didn’t happen. The website is informative and helpful if you suffer from social anxiety.

Johnathan Berent has a website and a book specifically about social anxiety. I benefitted greatly from the series of podcasts that he has on ITunes, I would recommend you look them up and listen to them. It helped me enormously to hear about other people suffering from the exact same problem as me. The more I learned about social anxiety, the less I feared it, that is the simplest way I can describe how I have been able to overcome it as much as I have. Being educated about social anxiety has taken the fear away.

Ultimately, the one action I took that had the greatest impact on eliminating social anxiety, was giving up drinking alcohol. As scary as that sounds it is true. The further in to my sobriety I get, the less social anxiety I suffer.

Don’t give up trying to get sober!

I wrote this poem in November 2008, four months after I giving up drinking alcohol. Keeping a sobriety journal allows me to look back and see how how far I have come.

I do not profess to be a poet and I am working on my grammar, but these words still ring true to me today.

Finding freedom at last
Finding me finally
Letting go of the past
Growing slowly

Years have past
Friendships grown and lost
Two new souls brought into the world
New life brings new memories

Time to move aside
Cast away all doubts
There are others who need my strength
Everything makes more sense

 Everything has changed
A little on the outside
Much on the inside

How do you feel? Has sobriety changed you for the better? Are you struggling with your sobriety? Have you tried writing as a way to convey your feelings? What do you do to make sense of sobriety?

Please feel free to share with us.

Friends.

During my first year of sobriety, I experienced a multitude of feelings towards my friends and people I knew.

Initially, I didn’t want to see many people. I had the intense desire to be alone and with close family only. I did not feel comfortable telling my friends that I had made the decision to stop drinking alcohol. I wanted to make sense of what I was doing before I spoke about it with anyone else.

Planning my day and learning to overcome the intense desire to drink alcohol took all of my strength and will. I did not have the energy to expend with other people.

 I believe that having alone time is very important during early sobriety, writing in a journal during this time is extremely beneficial, it aides the process of emptying the mind of negativity and boredom.

As the months passed, I spent time scrutinizing my relationships, there were times when I thought that I would have to end certain friendships.

 After the first few months of sobriety, I felt like I had become a completely different person. At one point, I could not see how my old friendships would fit in with my new life.

By the end of the year I had maintained my long term friendships. My feelings had changed. I found that throughout the first year of sobriety, my mind was all over the place. I experienced doubt about myself, insecurity, anxiety, low self esteem and confusion. There were times when I did not think that any of my friends would like who I had become, I felt so radically different. One day I explained this to a therapist I was seeing and she said that although I felt so different, my friends would see that the “essence” of who I am remained the same. It didn’t make much sense to me at that time but it does now.

Although many of my friends still drink alcohol, I have remained friends with them. I do not see them very often and it works well this way. They are still close to my heart but our lifestyles are different now. I can enjoy their company and  be comfortable when they are drinking alcohol in my presence, they still enjoy who I am but it is a different experience now.

I have noticed that my choice of friends has changed too. When I meet new people, I tend not to gravitate to the drinkers and smokers anymore. Even if I really like them, I know that to be surrounded by people who are drinking and smoking regularly is not something that I want any part of now. It would not be in my best interest to make friends like this because of the temptation involved, it is just not worth it.

The change that takes place within you during the first year of sobriety is enormous. I would not advise hasty decisions regarding friendships unless you are certain that they have a negative effect on you. Spend time with yourself, nature, a journal, and a therapist for the first year. It may not sound like much fun but the rewards that you will reap in your second year will be massive.

I am fast approaching two years of sobriety. Not too shabby for someone whose life revolved around alcohol for seventeen years.

Based on my experience throughout this time, I have put together a list of twenty one action items that I believe will benefit every newly sober person.

I would have appreciated this list back in July 2008 when I first got sober. Fortunately, I did come across Spiritual River, which was a great starting point.

(1) Write frequently in a journal. Do this whether you feel like it or not; your mind will be clearer.
(2) Visit a bookstore or library. Pick a selection of books that interest you to occupy the time.
(3) Get a therapist; a good one can help you through the early and difficult days of sobriety.
(4) Stay away from anyone who drinks alcohol. There will come a time when you can handle other drinkers but initially it is safer not to be around them.
(5) If you are religious, pray regularly and read The Bible.
(6) Connect with others who are newly sober; you could try A.A, Women for Sobriety, or join a online forum.
(7) Read books about alcoholism and recovery. Thousands of people have been in your shoes and have written about their experience.
(8) Go for walks and start up an exercise regime.
(9) Plan your day, week, month
(10) Write a list of the activities you enjoy
(11) Drink plenty of water
(12) Take vitamins
(13) Tell your doctor about your decision to stop drinking alcohol.
(14) Confide in a close friend that you trust about your decision to stop drinking alcohol.
(15) Clean and declutter your home, room, desk and car.
(16) Listen to Zig Ziglar podcasts on ITunes; there are over 100 of them, they will inspire and motivate you.
(17) Watch plenty of comedy movies and shows.
(18) Read any “Anthony Robbins” books.
(19) Write down 10 things that you are grateful for; add to this each day.
(20) Read “Zig Ziglar’s Life Changing Procedure” for 30 days in the morning and evening.
(21) Visit Spiritual River’s website; packed with information about “How To Stop Drinking Alcohol & Get The Addiction Help You Need.”

I’ll Stop Tomorrow; 

Paul Campbell has hit the nail on the head when he says ‘This book was written by somebody who had everything and lost everything’ and ‘someone who went through the living hell of chronic alcoholism and the tough times of recovery’. 

Author Paul Campbell was once a highly successful advertising executive in Ireland. He had the kind of financial and personal success that many people can only dream of until alcohol nearly destroyed him. Thankfully, he lived to tell the tale. Today, he is a successfully recovered alcoholic turned addictions counselor living in Kildare, Ireland. 

Through a man’s perspective, Campbell touches on the many issues surrounding the alcoholic. Now a addictions counselor but once a chronic alcoholic, he has his finger on the pulse of alcoholism from both perspectives. 

Campbell was asked to write a regular news column about alcoholism for the Irish Book Review. He covers topics such as ‘The Alcoholic Mind’, ‘Alcohol Obsessions’, ‘Handling the Holidays in Recovery’ and ‘Intervention Advice’, these columns provided the basis for his first book ‘I’ll Stop Tomorrow’. 

In ‘I’ll Stop Tomorrow’ Campbell delves into why the alcoholic drinks, he asks if you are an alcoholic and then supplies a test for you to take.  He also speaks of anger, boundaries, the mind of an alcoholic, women and alcohol, relationships, control, physical effects of alcohol, AA, recovery, society, making amends, an extremely useful intervention section, and a subject close to my own heart; shyness and alcohol. 

Time and time again whilst reading ‘I’ll Stop Tomorrow,’ I found myself nodding in agreement with what Campbell had to say about the disease of alcoholism. He has a canny way of making you feel understood. I admire his educated view and personal insight on alcoholism as well as the fact that his style is neither pushy nor preachy.

This effective book will benefit many audiences, especially family and friends of the alcoholic, executives, housewives, husbands, wives, alcoholics, the newly sober and anyone wondering if they may have a problem with alcohol. 

Paul Campbell’s first book is a great addition to the alcohol and recovery genre, I am certainly better informed for having read it. My hope is that he returns with a follow up book that focuses on long term sobriety.

Click here for more information about Paul Campbell   

Click here for ‘I’ll Stop Tomorrow’ by Paul Campbell  

Click here to read Paul Campbell’s weekly columns

Hi Everyone,

I had not heard from Debbie for a while but then she got back in contact. Here is what has been going on for Debbie;

I haven’t checked rp for a while. I saw your most recent post and had to write. I didn’t want to  but here goes.

Just shy of six months of sobriety, sometime in mid November, I relapsed. I started drinking again. At first it was a bottle of wine and I recall feeling really glad that the alcohol didn’t affect me the way that it used to. And then I went back to my old best friend gin and things have been slowly but surely going downhill.

What you said about routine really struck me because when I was off work, I woiuld get up, journal and go to the gym. And having that routine allowed me to create habits that resulted in nearly six months of sobriety, a weight loss of 20lbs and much better financial management.

While I have been glad to get back to work, it has thrown my routine. Coupled with the fact that my roomates computer is on the fritz….well. Journaling allowed me to work things out without acting out and to talk myself out of drinking. I never realized how central it was to me staying sober. I’ve never met you in person Madison, nor have I met any of the people who read your site but I felt accountable to you. I still do.

I stopped paying attention to my sobriety and fell off the bandwagon. I’ve been working again for a month and drinking for about the same amount of time and this isn’t the script that I wanted to write. I wanted to be clear headed for this job. I still am though it won’t last for much longer I know if I don’t get sober. I’m glad that I was sober for five months I learned some emotional skills that are still serving me well. I need to find a healthy routine again. I made some mistakes at work and its been pretty hard to keep at it and keep trying my best at work although the crippling anxiety is gone (I think in large part due to heavy doses of Wellbutrin) and better emotional skills. Before I was sober I think I would have chucked in the towel by now and have started trying to surf the internet all day.

Sometimes I think that the posts on sobriety websites can be a little repetitive but that’s important because I think you need to constantly remind yourself WHY you need to stay sober and keep your view forward looking rather than looking down at your feet. Basically to propel yourself into long term sobriety.

I’m working on a new sobriety date. I have school in 3 weeks and I know that drinking and studying didn’t work out for me at all so I have to knock it off before then.

I don’t want to be the person who just never got it together.

Debbie

-

Tonight I had to give my son a talk about drugs, it was a part of his cub scout advancement to earn another badge. I can not tell you how good it felt that I was able to speak with him honestly about the ill effects of involving himself in such things. Imagine if this was 17 months ago, would I have said hold on son, let me just fill up my wine glass and pop out for a quick cigarette before I we get started. How would I have been able to look him in the eyes like I did tonight if I hadn’t of given up drinking and smoking. I didn’t share my story, he is too young for that right now but I did tell him what he needed to know right now. I will always know that when he looked me straight in the eyes tonight, he knew that I was being honest with him, and when he grows older I am very sure this talk will make a difference in his life.

I was very grateful to be sober today. I will remember this for the rest of my life and continue to thank god that I was given the strength and courage to successfully over come my addictions.

I just read a comment from my friend Paul Cook, he is the author of a fantastic sobriety book called “Cooked in LA”, if you haven’t read my book review already you can click here to find out all about it.  Paul was letting me know that a potential movie of the book could be in the pipeline, that would be amazing! Paul’s story was meant for the big screen. It got me thinking about sobriety movies and I couldn’t really think of any. Pretty ridiculous considering what an issue alcoholism is and not to mention the millions of addiction success stories that there are to be told. The only movie I could think of was the one with Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia, When A Man Loves A Woman. Anyway, I found a website that lists a bunch of sobriety movies, not nearly as many as there should be but there are quite a few.  The website listing these movies is SobrietyOnline – Philadelphia’s Portal To Recovery, the website is home to a host of resources but for the movie section in particular click here .

It amazes me at how few sobriety and addiction movies there are. Thankfully there are many sobriety books and addiction books to keep us well informed and inspired.

If anyone knows of any other sobriety movies or addiction movies, please share them on Recovery Princess. 

I have come across a whole bunch of sobriety resources in the form of podcasts that are fantastic so I thought I would share them with you;

Podcasts for Successful living with Allan Hunkin – Every interview that you can get.

Oprah – The Soul Series – Listen by podcast or watch the webcasts. Listen to all of them!

Social Anxiety Resolved Podcasts with Johnathan Berent- Very useful and informative 

Listen and learn! These have been very helpful to me and are so interesting.

I will keep you aware of any further sobriety resources that I come across…

This article is not new but is interesting…Here is an extract from ChristianityToday.com

As Clapton’s legend grew, so too did his destructive behaviors. Within a year of his conversion he became addicted to heroin, kicked it, but moved on to alcohol, sexual promiscuity, and a string of failed relationships. “Bad choices were my specialty,” he said. In 1987 he hit the bottom. Failing through a month of rehab, he fell to his knees and finally “surrendered” to God, dedicating his sobriety to his newborn son, Conor. Four years later, when Conor died in a fall from the window of a 53rd floor of a Park Avenue apartment, Clapton admitted, “There was a moment when I did lose faith.” Still, he found the strength to present a session to his Alcoholics Anonymous meeting on “handing your will over to the care of God.” Afterward, a woman confessed that he had taken away her “last excuse” for drinking, a confirmation to Clapton that “staying sober and helping others to achieve sobriety” is “the single most important proposition” in his life.

To read the full article click here 

Over the last year I have had the great fortune of meeting (via the Internet) many people who have changed their lives successfully after living for years with chronic alcoholism. They have hit rock bottom so to speak with regard to alcoholism but they have been able to pull themselves back and recreate a new life. One of these people is a man named Paul Campbell from Ireland. If you follow Recovery Princess then you will have seen some of my posts linking to his weekly articles for a website called TheIrishBookReview. I benefit greatly from reading these so I have provided the link so that you can check it out.

Paul Campbell is also the author of a book titled “I’ll Quit Tomorrow”. I am in the process of reviewing this book and I will be sharing it with you shortly.

I have been lucky enough to have an article written by Paul Campbell especially for Recovery Princess readers. I asked for the subject to be about social anxiety and shyness and alcoholism as this is a topic that I believe many alcoholics would be interested in learning more about.

Here is Paul Campbell’s article:

My personal and professional experience has led me to believe that alcoholics are born with the alcoholic gene.  It’s frequently (but not always) an inherited gene.  It is usually found floating around parents, aunts, uncles or grand parents.  The scary thing about the illness of alcoholism is its unpredictability.  Many of us can drink alcohol quite normally for many years only to discover suddenly out of the blue we have imperceptibly developed a strong dependence on the stuff, not alone that but in the process, its begun to cause serious problems for us and our family.  No two cases are the same. I have clients who recount how from their first drink at 14-16 years they knew they reacted to it differently than their friends. These folks developed a destructive relationship with booze very early on.  Quite often these people would develop a high tolerance to alcohol and subsequently need increasing amounts to recapture the” high/buzz” of past drinking.

Among others’ late- onset alcoholism’ is becoming very common – particularly with women.  Quite often it’s some form of trauma they experience e.g. divorce, bereavement etc.  This leads to what they think of as temporary dependence on drink to get them through it, but if they have the alcoholic gene it quickly bursts forth into full-blown alcohol dependence.  They will gradually realise they have developed a serious relationship with alcohol.  In a sense it becomes their best friend!

Where am I going with this?

OK let’s clarify it: We are either born with the alcoholic gene or we are not. How it manifests itself can vary from drinker to drinker.  This variable factor seems to take the shape of a series of triggers that can happen to us in life.  These triggers don’t turn us into alcoholics but they are frequently the factor that sets off and brings to life what may have been a dormant alcoholic gene.  For me the trigger was chronic shyness and low self-esteem.  I had been in boarding school from 9 -18 years.  When at 18 I was suddenly dumped in the outside world adult world I simply did not know how to cope.  The Oxford Dictionary defines shyness as, “difficult or uneasy in company; timid” – that was me! I left collage and went into the mad world of advertising.  I might have been shy but I discovered I was creative and I quickly became successful.  I could easily sell a marketing concept or TV commercial to a client but when it came to relaxed small talk I was useless.  The scariest things of all however were girls.  Lord, was I totally tongue tied around them.  But then suddenly (at 19 years of age) I discovered booze! It genuinely felt like a miracle cure.  Alcohol became my social lubricant.  I could relax, chat, and even dance with girls, (mind you very badly).  In business I took to using my expense account to wine and dine my clients.  I can look back now and see that I thought booze helped people to like me!  For many years alcohol was my crutch in life.  I drank on good news, I drank on bad news! I drank when the sun shone or when it rained.  Unknown to me, alcohol had taken control of my life.  For more than twenty years I was a functioning alcoholic but then and very quickly my entire life came crashing down.  Today I have rebuilt my life – it’s a good one and it’s one I don’t need the crutch of alcohol to enjoy.  I had to hit a catastrophic rock bottom.  My work now is to help others from hitting rock bottom.

If you identify with any of the above- do what I did – Ask for help – you can’t do it by yourself!

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It keeps getting better and better. I always want to be better, to do my best, to learn more, to understand more, to accept more, to help more, to be present, to know that at the end of the day I can honestly say to myself that I am living a good life now. Sobriety really does just keep getting better and better. The relationship I have with myself is far healthier than it has been probably since I was a child. I like myself far more than I ever did. When I was drinking I felt pretty wretched most of the time and liking myself was completely out of the question.

It is amazing how much escapes you when you consistently chuck alcohol down your throat. When I look back now, I see how different my ability to absorb real life was. I didn’t absorb any of it, I just lived in a sort of fuzz. Numbing out many feelings and trying to be someone else was a daily job for me. Well, not anymore. I can’t tell you how glad I am to be mostly rid of all the negativity associated with alcohol. I have no idea how I managed to live that way for so long. I can’t say that I feel like I lived a wasted life because I am who I am today because of where I have come from and the life I have lived but I often wonder what and who I would have been if I didn’t pick up those first drinks many many moons ago.

My feelings have not come about by accident,  I work extremely hard at my sobriety. At the moment I am flooding my mind with all the Zig Ziglar audios that I can get my hands on. It is helping enormously. I have to identify and change old habits, beliefs and ways of coping and I am doing it. I have gone from needing a drink to literally step outside my front door on some days to having huge dreams of the life I want to live. I will get there and right now I know I am working hard to get closer to it.

Sobriety is not easy but it is worth it. I am proof that it can be done. It still surprises the daylights out of me that I am on my way towards a year and a half of sobriety.

Everywhere I go and everything I do is with a sober head now. I do not hide at home and make excuses to not go to events and different places, in fact I love to do new things and see new people. It is a complete turnaround from the way I used to be. Before I would do all kinds of things BUT only if I could drink! Well, I don’t need it anymore and that feels good.

Give it a try!

I have come across another immensely valuable resource. Anthony Robbins. Just like with Zig Ziglar, I wonder where on earth I have been that I have only found this man now. But in a way I believe it is significant in the sense that right now is when I need to hear what he has to say the most.

I have found recently that I have the ability to control and change the way I feel, I am able to clearly recognize my moods and chart a course to reverse any negativity. I am not flying around like Mary Poppins but I definitely am feeling that I have more control over myself than ever before. This is the part of sobriety that I am truly enjoying.

During my quest for changing the way I feel, and isn’t that what we were trying to do with alcohol? I have now come across Anthony Robbins.

Find out more about Tony Robbins http://www.tonyrobbins.com/content/biography.aspx 

Watch Tony Robbins live on YouTube, there are tons of videos to watch that are all free, click here

 Tony Robbins created this website in 2008 to help people during the tough recent economic times;  http://www.thepowerofcrisis.com/

I hope this helps! I really got a lot out of watching these movies and listening to the audios.

Enjoy!

I am going to pass on a quick tip that will lift your mood. If you feel depressed, tired, useless, hopeless or maybe you don’t feel that bad but you could do with some more positivity to help you think about possibilities instead of hardship, then you will find this helpful.

Before I give it to you I want to tell you why I think this helps.

As you know if you are a regular reader, I have been sober for nearly 16 months for the first time in seventeen years. Throughout these 16 months, I have gone through just about every possible feeling/thought/emotion and mood known to man. I have battled with social anxiety, panic attacks, depression, negative thinking, withdrawal from others, low self esteem and more. All of these were reasons why I drank for so long, but the alcohol exacerbated these issues for me and magnified the worst for me. Now that I am sober and I have a fairly long period of sobriety, I am able to clearly identify what I am feeling and also what triggers it for me. Thankfully, I have the kind of nature that leads me to wanting to find a better way of dealing with things. I record what I go through in a journal, I analyze the negatives and I try and find a way to combat anything that I am uncomfortable with.

Time and time again in the last 16 months, the most common problem I experience is negative thinking that leads to depression and general unhappiness, lately I have been experimenting with changing my mood when I am feeling down or anxious or negative.

Here is one sure fire way to lift your mood and begin thinking about possibilities………

Zig Ziglar

I have known about Zig Ziglar for a few years now, I recently signed up for his newsletter and read it regularly but only recently I have started paying more attention to him. I can not believe that I have not read one of his books yet. He is truly one of the most straight talking, motivating, uplifting, sensible, humorous and genuine being I have ever encountered in the world of personal development. If you already know about this man then good for you! Read and listen to anything he has ever written and said again! If you do not know about him, do yourself a favor and learn everything you can.  This doesn’t have to cost you a lot of money either.

Here are a few ways that you can listen to Zig Ziglar right now;

Go to www.Youtube.comand type in Zig Ziglar, you can watch and listen to some mini sessions of him talking and being interviewed right now for free. Listen to them all, what have you got to loose?

If you have an Iphone or Ipod or MP3 player, go to www.audible.comand download an audiobook of his. They range from $2.95 to about $15.95. They are worth every penny! If anyone knows a less expensive way then please share.

If you have a kindle or prefer reading on your pc, go to www.barnesandnoble.comand download an ebook of Zig Ziglars.

Go to www.amazon.com and buy a used book for a fraction of the price in the bookstore or go to your local library and get a book for free!

Whatever you do, listen to Zig Ziglar right now on YouTube.

Take action and do something right now. It has worked for me, it truly has.

One tip for you, once you have read or listened to something of Zig Ziglar’s, read it again, and again. Read or listen to it when you feel good and when you feel bad. Take note of what he says and take action.

Sign up for the newsletter here;

My positive commitment to living the best life ever…..

I am not depressed, I do not have stinkin thinking, I am making something of my life, I overcome hard times, I find solutions to every challenge presented to me, I learn from every experience be it good or bad, I do not allow others to bring me down, I take responsibility for my life and I find ways to help others every day.

What do you want to overcome today?

In alcohol recovery and sobriety or even in normal situations, when you are feeling depressed, you are totally focused on yourself, maybe your shortcomings, your problems, your surroundings, whatever it may be, your thoughts are centered upon yourself. It is hard to even see that when you are feeling in a bad way. I recently went through quite a depressive slump of a week or so and I felt really crappy. One day, I was going through my emails and I came across a Tony Robbins mini video about one of his conferences and just through watching that, I literally started to think about possibilities again as opposed to being stuck in this dark moody place that I couldn’t quite get out of. Since then, I am also making an effort to think about others more and see what I can do to help in some way or be involved in something. It really helps.

When you focus on the negative or the bad, and this can happen often during alcohol recovery and sobriety then that is what you will feel. Same thing with this, if you are feeling depressed or focused on the negative aspects about your life then you will be feeling pretty bad. Once you start feeling bad it is easy to spiral into a complete state of negativity that will completely drain you. The difficult thing I find is that for the most part I am optimistic and have an upbeat attitude but every now and again, things will get the better of me and before I know how I got there, I will be feeling slightly down, occupied with negative thoughts and just generally feeling like life is a struggle. The fact that the length of my sobriety is increasing means that it is now easier to see patterns in my behavior and notice what triggers unwanted feelings.

I have noticed that big changes to my regular routines throw me. Before I gave up drinking, my life was quite chaotic really, I would go anywhere and say yes to most invitations as long as I knew I would be able to have a few drinks, life was fun and I was being carefree and living life to the fullest (or so I thought at times). But since then, I have slowed down and learned to appreciate life in a different way. I have learned that having routines are important to me, I am not rigid in my plans but I feel better when I know what is going on and I don’t have huge surprises thrown at me. I don’t go to as many outings as I used to because I don’t enjoy those type of things in the same way anymore.

A few recent examples of losing my routine structure were a few months back when I had visitors stay for about 3 weeks. I really gave up most of what I enjoy doing to ensure that we all did things together and to make sure that they had a good time. But once the trip was over, I was not only exhausted but I felt lost and that ultimately led me into the negative land where I stayed for a while and felt rather depressed. In hindsight, what I had done was give up all the newly created routines that were backing me up in my sobriety. I wasn’t working out, I wasn’t reading, I wasn’t concentrating on sharing my journey on Recovery Princess, all of those things are important to me and my sobriety and I wasn’t able to truly realize that until the more recent event that led me into depression once more. My little one was sick for a week and I literally laid down for a week with her until she was better. Once again, my routine was totally gone and after that week I felt pretty awful for a week, it was hard to get myself back on track again.

There are patterns that emerge in sobriety that help me understand my journey better. I know what sets me off,  now I know that I have to be aware of the fact that if I do not have structure around me I am prone to negative thinking and if I am not proactive in immersing myself in something relating to helping someone else then I am more than likely going to get depressed.

Life is so crazy, it is impossible to predict what every day is going to be like. But just knowing that being off my routine and not doing the things that are important to me can cause me to feel off kilter allows me to be aware and mindful of my limitations and to go easy on myself. That in itself can be enough to keep my journey on a more even keel.

If you are struggling with your alcohol recovery and sobriety, then you may want to read my post Listen To This For Inspiration it is filled with the places I visit when I am feeling down and need some good uplifting.

Cooked in LA is a seriously entertaining biography told with lots of humor and honest self evaluation. Author Paul Cook takes you on his captivating journey as a DJ from Minnesota to the star studded land of LA all the while wrestling with his growing struggle with alcoholism and drug addiction.   

Paul Cook comes across as a down to earth guy with a good attitude, although he mingled with the rich and famous he has kept his true self. His style of writing is smart, real, funny and witty but his story of addiction is gravely serious. 

When I read this book, I was continually reminded of how crazy addiction is. Many of the somewhat funny along with the more serious incidents that Paul Cook depicts prove this point. 

The use of alcohol is prevalent throughout Paul Cook’s story, as is the array of drugs, magic mushrooms, ecstasy, prescription drugs and cocaine. The many scenarios range from office cubicle dramas to conversations with famous folk in nightclubs.

 Although this is Paul Cook’s biography, he did not journey alone. His long term girlfriend Jenny is mentioned frequently throughout. Although there is a happy ending for this couple, in the earlier days they partied and used alcohol and drugs together frequently. It was fun in the beginning but as time progressed so did the difficulties. I found this aspect particularly interesting because this is such a common phenomenon that is not always addressed and can cause intense pressure in relationships.

 Throughout the book, Paul Cook does a good job of describing the typical feelings that are common to addicts, he talks freely about the emptiness, self loathing and being uncomfortable in ones own skin that addiction leads to. He talks knowingly of the daily drag of trying to function whilst in such an awful state of need and how nights can start off with that feel good vibe but in his own words “eventually the eternal night ends, which for some is when the sun comes up, and for others it’s when Monday arrives. That’s when the outlook changes dramatically. It’s a lower-than-low reality”

 Ultimately, this is the story of a young man who had ambitions and a dream. How addiction crept up on him quickly in his life. How he struggled to get through each day and how he fought his own demons while becoming a success.

 If you want to get the inside scoop on radio stations, being a DJ in LA, and addiction from the beginning to the end then you will enjoy this journey that has a few good laughs and is easy to empathize with.

 I thoroughly enjoyed this book. It was heartfelt, meaningful and inspiring. I also had a teary moment.

 Also, not to take away from the seriousness of this book but it is not hard to stay interested when a story is mainly set in LA with sprinkles of celebrity sightings and tales of what goes on in that crazy town.

I could see this story on the big screen, it should be a movie. I am also particularly interested in the sequel….what happens next for Paul Cook? I would love to know!

If you need inspiration for sobriety, or want to create a new life for yourself, or need some lifting up then listen to this audio interview with Tony Robbins by Brendon Burchard. I am always on the lookout for inspiration, motivation, enthusiasm for life, personal development and success. This interview gave me an enormous lift when I needed it most. I have this readily available to me my file of  Daily Inspiration. I keep a folder in my outlook which is full of emails that I receive from the people that inspire me and bring me in touch with what life is really all about. If you haven’t done this yet, it is a very proactive way of getting yourself out of any depressive funks that you may go through. I listen and read them as often as I can, I need to do better at doing that when I really don’t feel like it because they can turn your thinking around in minutes.  All of my emails from Simple Truths, My Super Charged Life, The Happiness Project, Spiritual River, Zig Ziglar’s newsletter, Spiritual Zen, Brendon Burchard, Seeds of Success, Millionaire Mommy Next Door, William Cope Moyers Column on Creators, Vivian Eisenecher’s Blog, Paul Campbell’s Column on The Irish Book Review and more.

Let me tell you, to make it in this world of sobriety you need an army of motivation to keep you going, it is not for the faint hearted I will say that. But if you want to make a difference in your life then you can do it with all of these useful tools to help. Of course, I will now be adding Tony Robbins to my army!

Let me know what you think of the interview and enjoy!

Be Sober!!!!! Get a new life!!!!

What is important? Do you want money or do you want meaning? That is what I struggle with, I want money, not because I think it will make me feel better but because I know what I could do with it, I have tons of things I want to do, achieve, share and experience. Money will make it easier for me. I also know that whilst I want money, I don’t want to get by doing something that I do not find meaningful. At least, not long term.

Over the last week, I have felt pretty good a few times. I have paid special attention to what I have been doing that has made me feel so good and every time it has been a situation where I have felt connected to someone in some way. Here is just one example of a good time this week. I was having a phone conversation with a friend who I have known for years. We haven’t seen each other in about 6 years now but it didn’t feel that way on the phone. So much has changed in both our lives, I often feel so very different now to who I was back then but when we chatted and started reminiscing about some good old times, we laughed alot and it felt really good. When we ended the conversation, I thought about all the good and bad times that we had shared since we have known each other (I have to say many of them inebriated!) and I was filled with a nostalgic, somewhat sad but truly happy special feeling that I can’t quite explain.  It was a really good feeling though, one that I wanted to hold onto, one that I knew was a real feeling of I guess, love. A love of a friendship, of times shared, of knowing that someone truly knows me and I truly know them, an unspoken understanding. Now there have been times through this journey of sobriety when I thought that I just could not be friends with that friend anymore. I felt that I was just too different now, that my friend and other friends wouldn’t like the new boring sober me, that because nothing was ever going to be the same again that it was basically over. I really did go through a phase of thinking that. Thank goodness I came out of it because obviously it was ridiculous to think that just because I stopped drinking alcohol, my friends wouldn’t like me. A true friend will be there until the end. On the other side of this, I did have one friend who told me “You are a shadow of your former self”, at the time I had not quit drinking forever, I was pregnant so I was sober, but for me, alcohol used to really change my personality, I was so much more outgoing, had a huge amount of energy and I could handle social situations around the clock, I also had a different attitude, I was more wild and less concerned with outcomes, I would also anger really easily and become someone who right now is very unrecognizable to me.  Anyway, I dropped that friend, and she was a friend of a very very long time. I don’t really have regrets but I do feel a little sad about it now and again. But basically, I realize that we all change over time, even if you are not an alcoholic, but for an alcoholic it is such an extreme change that some friends may have to go. Either because they don’t like you anymore or you don’t like them anymore, but the ones that are meant to stay will, and when you have a chat with them like I did and you feel that feeling, you know what is important in life and money will never be able to buy it.

I have been feeling off for quite a while now. I should be feeling much better if anti-depressants have anything to do with it but I am not. I am just feeling, self absorbed might be a good way to describe it. I have been walking around with a head full of negative thoughts and I have had a hard time getting rid of them, in fact the more I have tried to change my attitude, the more negativity I have been experiencing. It is difficult to explain but there are definitely some things that I believe have contributed toward how I feel right now.

I stopped spending as much time working on this website. I must have been feeling pretty good for a while and I became absorbed in ‘normal’ stuff and I think I forgot I was an alcoholic for a while. This is a very easy thing to do when you have a good amount of sobriety time under your belt (and I do! about 15/16 months now). It is easy to start believing that because I no longer feel like having a drink all the time, I am almost cured. Also, I don’t really want to believe that I used to be an alcoholic, I don’t want to remember all the things I didn’t do while I was busy drinking, I don’t want to admit that I have a hard time living a ‘normal’ life. It is very easy to live like a ‘normal’ person but not actually feel like a normal person whatsoever. And this is where I have been for a while.

I became slightly depressed and then along with that came negative thoughts that I fed with more negative thoughts and before I knew how I had gotten to this place, I had become totally focused on myself, everything ‘bad’ about myself. It is funny how the mind will do that if you give it the slightest chance. I listened to something today and one guy said to another guy who had been saying that he was depressed and uninterested in life that the reason he felt this way was because he was totally and utterly self absorbed, in other words selfish. Now I know that depression is a serious illness and I am not saying that all depressives are selfish but I do agree that when you are depressed, you are totally self absorbed even if what you are absorbed with is negative. The focus in my life became all about what was wrong with me, why was I feeling like this, etc etc. I wrote something down that I could relate to;  “Whatever I am focusing on, I am going to feel” It makes sense, if you are focusing on the negative things then the outlook is gloomy and if you already have an untrained mind then it won’t be very long before your mind takes you on the rollercoaster journey of negativity.

So, not connecting with others in sobriety (for me through Recovery Princess) and becoming selfish (self absorbed) have both contributed to my feeling slightly off. But the good news is that this stage in my life has made me realize that I can’t forget my past and how I chose to live my life but that I am who I am because of the way I have lived.

It is a huge transistion living a life fuelled by alcohol to a life of sobriety.  At times I feel like I have changed from Cruella DeVille into Mary Poppins and I often feel lost. Well I guess I am a little lost and I probably will be for some time to come. It is early days in my new life and I am experiencing growing pains. I like the phrase, “You reap what you sow” well for a long time I wasn’t really sowing the good stuff to reap, so of course I wouldn’t be reaping a healthy non depressive mind. Now that I am sowing the good stuff, my time will come to reap the same. If you want the reward then you need to put the work in. I am putting the work in and if feels good even if it is a little tough at times.

If you managed to stay with me throughout this post, congratulations! I had a lot to share and muddle through.

Also, I want to tell you that although I had not really checked Recovery Princess for about a week (that is a very long time for me, I am usually fanatical about it) when I did check my email and comments, I had 3 really nice emails and comments and as soon as I read them I got that feeling inside, the one that makes you feel so good, like you are on the right track and that life can be pretty good at times. It feels good to know that through Recovery Princess, I make some difference to a few people. It is a really good feeling to experience in this world of sobriety.

Please feel free to share your own thoughts, moods, ups and downs with me on Recovery Princess.

Madison

On a lot of shows that involve transformation (read weight loss) one excuse that I’ve heard oft repeated is that people don’t want to go to the gym when they are overweight because they feel that the skinny people in the gym are looking at them and judging them. I always felt that that logic was a croc.

That said, I also believed that some people are just naturally thin. Last week while I was at the gym I realized that the vast majority of the gym patrons I saw on a regular basis were either already in fantastic shape or they were not too far off it. Actually I don’t recall seeing anyone that I could call obese in the gym. It suddenly occurred to me that these people were not naturally thin; they had decided that being in good shape was important to them and had dedicated themselves to staying that way.

I say this because even though I still don’t have a job, there are days when its quite a struggle for me to get to the gym on a regular basis. I’ll sit in front of the TV for hours thinking, “Should I? Shouldn’t I? Hmmmmm….”  Some days even though this is month 5 of no alcohol there are days when I potter around the house thinking the exact same thing, just about alcohol.

Alcohol made me not care, about anything, even the important things. I never understood that alcohol doesn’t selectively numb only the bad things and allow you to carry on all fine and dandy with the rest of your life.

One really important life skill that I lost, is how to motivate myself. I have to find ways to con myself into going to the gym and con myself into eating healthy. I also have to stop myself from drinking. Last Saturday I was in bed, and had to get up and write down all the reasons why I had decided to stop drinking. The cravings were that strong.

Since I’ve started eating healthy I’ve come to understand just how big of a crutch food was and when I only ate what I needed to not be hungry, it was like the cravings for alcohol had eaten their spinach and reappeared with renewed vigour. I knew that I ate for emotional reasons I just hadn’t anticipated how that would trigger cravings for alcohol.

I am sure that those skinny people at the gym don’t always feel like working out or eating healthy but they must do it regardless. They have made a choice, just like I can make a choice on a day to day basis not to drink any alcohol and to just try to find workable solutions rather than suppress my problems with drink.

Over the last week, my entire family has been home sick with the dreaded flu including myself. It has been one of those times when reflection has been inevitable.

I have had lots of fleeting thoughts about the past, mainly with a negative overtone. I haven’t been feeling extremely negative but I have been experiencing some angst when I think about my former life as an alcoholic. It upsets me that I went down such a long difficult path making bad choices and not valuing myself for over half of my life. Why wouldn’t it?  The good thing is that I know that what I am thinking is just reflection, the fact that I did not make the best decisions throughout my life because of alcoholism will not beat me down, it just makes me more determined to continue on this right path, making the right choices and living a life that I can be proud of and feel good about.

I think there will always be these periods of time when I start to reflect on the past when my life was fuelled by alcohol, the important thing for me to remember is that reflecting is all that it is, it is not my life now and will not be my life in the future as long as I stay sober.

Over the last week I realized again how far I have come, on one particular day I had to take my little one to the hospital. It was scary and a time that I would not like to repeat. At one point I was pacing up and down and I realized that I was totally and utterly absorbed with thoughts about my child, how I just wanted her to be OK, how I wanted to make her as comfortable as I could while we were here, how I wanted to hurry up and get her home again. You may say, but of course you would be thinking that! Well, let me tell you, when I was drinking alcohol I was a different person. I am not saying that if I had been in the same situation that I would not have cared about my child, not at all but my focus, attention, thoughts, capability and judgements were not what they were yesterday, not by a long shot. If you are an alcoholic then you will know exactly what I mean.

My sobriety has given me a whole new life that I would not trade for anything. It fills me with horror to remember how badly I was affected by alcohol.

Get sober!

I just want to add that while I was sick, I thought about how glad I was that I was no longer a smoker or drinker, my body would have had a much harder time fighting this sickness about 17 months ago, but thankfully I am fit and healthy which has enabled me to get over this far sooner than I otherwise would have been able too. It feels good to be in good health again. I feel good about the fact that I take care of myself now and I treat my mind and body with respect.

This is so important if you truly want to achieve sobriety………..

 Disassociation
There are some people you might need to break away from completely. This might not be an easy step to take, but it’s essential. You have to make the hard choice not to let certain negative influences affect you anymore. Decide the quality of life you want to have, and then surround yourself with the people who represent and support that vision.

To read the full article click here

I am happy to say that life is good. I am not without my problems but they are problems that everyone is facing, not the old sorry alcohol problems that ruled my life for so many years.

In many ways my life is so normal now that I almost forget that I was an active alcoholic who could not function without a drink. The everyday things that I do now, I sometimes take for granted. When I stop and think about them and compare them to just 16 months ago, I realize that I have changed immensely and for the better.

Having lunch in a restaurant, going grocery shopping, talking to people at work, going to social events, all of these normal daily functions were unbearable for me without a drink.

Now the issues that I face everyday are evolving from how do I get through this day without alcohol, to what shall I do with my future? Do I have enough time to do everything that I want to do?

My whole outlook on life has changed over the past 15/16 months since I have given up drinking. I have gone through so many different phases in sobriety, it is hard to articulate them all. But overriding everything is a feeling of progress and finally being on the right path. So much of the inner conflict that I suffered from has gone, so has all the guilt I always felt. I can’t explain the guilt, I don’t think I actually did anything wrong to anyone else, well maybe I did but it was more about me always knowing that I had a problem but not being able to deal with it and face it. Every time I had too much to drink, I would wake up with that same sorry feeling that would start in the pit of my stomach and continue to rise until I had another drink to quash it again. All of those horrible thoughts and feelings are gone on a daily basis.

I wake up each day wondering about how I am going to make life better for my family, wondering what I can do with my day and the future to ensure that I live out the rest of my life in the best possible way. I wake up and go about my day, what shall I wear? How are the finances? What have the kids got going on today? How is my friend doing? What can me and my husband do that is fun? How can we plan for the future? I do have some pressing problems that are more serious but my point is that I now have the capacity to think about these things.

When I was drinking, although I was functioning, my main focus was on how to get the next drink, I could not focus on everything else as well as I can now because I was addicted. It was a nasty vicious cycle that if you are an alcoholic you will understand only too well.

Now I can think about the future and plan for the future. I have a much better ability to do everything far better than I have ever done before and it feels really good. Better than I could ever have imagined.

Life is not a breeze but it is a thousand times better without alcohol. I hope you give it try!

I came across this today and think it is definitely worthy of attention;

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, they make them.”

I read this and more in a frequent email that I receive from Simple Truths. I have to tell you that every single time I receive this email and read it, my mind starts buzzing with hope and inspiration. The website is selling various books and cds that are ideal gifts or simply for you to buy. I read inside the sneak preview of each book and I think they are amazingly uplifting.

If you are in need of a daily boost, then go to the website and sign up for their newsletter. It will not disapoint. This is not a sales pitch from me, it is a genuine recommendation. This truly helps me. I can not tell you how many times I have been feeling a little down or unfocused and reading some of Mac Anderson’s words has turned my frame of mind around. You can also watch the inspirational movies. VISIT THIS WEBSITE if you are looking for inspiration, motivation, success and a gift for yourself or others.

Here is the email that I got today in full, read it then go to the website and click to see inside the book. Then sign up for the newsletter. It is a powerful tool to keep in your sobriety kit.

For all of us there are turning points in our lives. One of mine was the first time I heard The Strangest Secret in 1964. It was then, and still is, the most powerful and thought provoking message I’ve ever heard. In many ways it changed my life.

Earl Nightingale’s radio recording that he called The Strangest Secret electrified his listeners all over the country. The stations that carried his syndicated show were deluged with requests for copies of it.

As a result, the audio version of Nightingale’s message was recorded, and sold over 1 million copies. In fact, Earl Nightingale’s recording of The Strangest Secret was the first non-music record to exceed the one million mark!

So, you can imagine my excitement when my friend, Vic Conant, (President of Nightingale Conant) and I, decided to create a beautiful gift book to share Earl’s life changing message with the rest of the world. We also decided to include a CD of the original recording with the book.

An excerpt from
The Strangest Secret
by Earl Nightingale

George Bernard Shaw said, “People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and if they can’t find them, they make them.”

Well, it’s pretty apparent, isn’t it? And every person who discovered this believed (for a while) that he was the first one to work it out. We become what we think about.

Conversely, the person who has no goal, who doesn’t know where he’s going, and whose thoughts must therefore be thoughts of confusion, anxiety and worry – his life becomes one of frustration, fear, anxiety and worry. And if he thinks about nothing… he becomes nothing.

How does it work? Why do we become what we think about? Well, I’ll tell you how it works, as far as we know. To do this, I want to tell you about a situation that parallels the human mind.

Suppose a farmer has some land, and it’s good, fertile land. The land gives the farmer a choice; he may plant in that land whatever he chooses. The land doesn’t care. It’s up to the farmer to make the decision.

We’re comparing the human mind with the land because the mind, like the land, doesn’t care what you plant in it. It will return what you plant, but it doesn’t care what you plant.

Now, let’s say that the farmer has two seeds in his hand- one is a seed of corn, the other is nightshade, a deadly poison. He digs two little holes in the earth and he plants both seeds-one corn, the other nightshade. He covers up the holes, waters and takes care of the land…and what will happen? Invariably, the land will return what was planted.

As it’s written in the Bible, “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.”

Remember the land doesn’t care. It will return poison in just as wonderful abundance as it will corn. So up come the two plants – one corn, one poison.

The human mind is far more fertile, far more incredible and mysterious than the land, but it works the same way. It doesn’t care what we plant…success…or failure. A concrete, worthwhile goal…or confusion, misunderstanding, fear, anxiety and so on. But what we plant must return to us.

You see, the human mind is the last great unexplored continent on earth. It contains riches beyond our wildest dreams. It will return anything we want to plant.

Simple Truths Website

For years, I have struggled to make friends with people. I’ve looked back at my old journals from like 6 years ago and I keep saying the same things: make friends, lose weight etc etc. It is tedious just to repeat it even now. 

My explanations for the deficit of social connections in my life have been myriad: other people are incredibly shallow and they just don’t understand me, I was too busy with work, I just don’t know how, whatever.

 Anyway now that I’m sober (4 months!) I think that people do reach out, but I reject them. There have been times when I have filled my days with work and school to the point that there simply wasn’t time for other people. I have turned down opportunities to socialize with co-workers after work, failed to respond to phone calls / emails / contact of any kind not necessarily to invite me out just good old fashioned contact, treated the people who did reach out like they were my therapist and been suspicious of kindness.

 When people treat me nicely I tend to respond with silence or condescension, because I think that if they would stoop to being friends with someone like me they’re not the kind of people that I want to be friends with.  (This is something that I’ve explored somewhat with my therapist)

 My focus has persistently been on how uncomfortable or overwhelmed I feel about any contact. The last time I checked my Facebook account there were several messages from people who had asked how I was and why I wasn’t responding. It had never occurred to me that they might be feeling hurt by my rejection.

 My last roommate had several friends and observing how she interacted with them was really fantastic. She had solid long term relationships with many people. One thing that struck me though was that there were many times that she would much rather have lain on the couch on Saturday night rather than attend a friend’s party because she was just too tired but she went. She bought gifts for their weddings and was genuinely interested in keeping up with what happened in their personal and professional lives.

 I guess I had a typical addict approach to relationships: pay attention to me, why don’t you like me! Why aren’t we talking about me and my problems and how brave I am for getting through them. It must be horribly draining to be on the receiving end of such sucking need.