“If you don’t like who you are and where you are, don’t worry about it because you’re not stuck either with who you are or where you are. You can grow.”

Zig Ziglar

Before I stopped drinking, I had not given much thought to religion in a long time. I used to believe in God a long long time ago. Then I got into my teens and I got further and further away. When my Grandparents died, I was mad with God and pretty much put him out of my mind.

Looking back, the only times I really thought about God was when my life was out of control, which was quite often actually. I would be angry and shout at him and blame him for everything. I know for sure that I threw out a few “f” words at him too.

The last night that I drank alcohol, I was in a right mess. I was drunk, crying, angry, sad, confused. I remember sitting in the driveway crying after having a dumb argument with a good friend (who was also tipsy). I wasn’t crying because of the argument. I just could not cope with where I was at in my life. My drinking was continually out of control. I would turn angry after a few drinks, I was arguing all the time, my self confidence was on the floor. I felt truly awful. I sat in the driveway and I screamed up at the sky. ‘Why don’t you help me????!!!!’ I repeated this many times along with a bunch of other drivel before going to bed in a drunken stupor.

I woke up the next morning. That was the first day of my sobriety. It has been 2 years since then.

Something happened that night. Something in me changed. I can’t say it was my doing because it wasn’t. I had been drinking for 17 years; more than half of my life. I had tried numerous times to give up drinking, including a short stint with AA. I never had any success.

When I woke up on the first day of my sobriety, something was different about me. I knew that I could never drink again but I had absolutely no idea how I was going to be sober, live sober and, stay sober.

God heard me that night. I didn’t realize it at that time but I know it now.

I did not set out to find God. Infact, I didn’t want to be anything like any of the recovering alcoholics that I have read about. The reason I didn’t want to go to AA was because I didn’t want my life to revolve around my alcoholism and recovery. I wanted to be sober but I wanted to be normal. I certainly didn’t want to become like those recovering alcoholics who had found God. Oh No. I did not want that at all. I had an image to preserve (well a somewhat flakey one) but in my mind I had to still be kind of cool and with it and not some bible bashing do-gooder.

I am happy to tell you that it happened. I became everything I never wanted to be with one difference. I love it. I love the second part of my life. I love God. He is totally in my life and he has grown on me like I could never have imagined.

It has taken me months to write this post. There is still the part of me that can not believe this is me and every time I wanted to share my story of how I really got sober, I procrastinated. 

Religion is exciting. A relationship with God is amazing. Things are happening in my life, the answers to my prayers.

I have experienced what so many other believers already know and I can’t believe it has taken me this long.

I just want to say, that if you are sober and struggling then you might want to put your life in God’s hands and begin your own exploration of faith.

If you are interested, I recommend these three essential tools to get you started:

1) The New Living Translation Bible by Tyndale House

2) The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

3) Daily Devotional by Ike Reighard and Zig Ziglar

 Amen!

Should I act this way? Or should I act that way? Alcoholics have an alter ego and that ego becomes a part of who you are but now that is not you anymore and it leaves you feeling confused about who the hell you are now. I guess that is another part of early sobriety that is really tough.

As you get more and more sobriety time under your belt you begin to feel more sure of who you are and who you are becoming but lets face it, when you were drinking, you were a different person. So it takes time.

No wonder so many people just can’t handle sobriety and relapse frequently. It is so damn difficult.

I don’t want you to feel that it is not worth the ride because it is. It is just bittersweet. Once you taste true sobriety you won’t want to loose that feeling, you want to keep going to get more of it. Unlike alcohol it leaves you feeling refreshed and renewed. Not hungover.

I think I am finally coming out of the people pleasing stage of my sobriety. I don’t know if anyone else has gone through this? Please share if you have. I am just glad I am finding myself again and getting my attitude back. (in a good way!)

In the past, I mixed with people who were drinkers. That is pretty much how it went. To be honest, I didn’t really have much in common with those who didn’t drink. Why would I? I thought they were boring. I couldn’t imagine living a life with alcohol.  Now that I don’t drink, I don’t gravitate to drinkers anymore. Why? Because they don’t interest me anymore. Even though I don’t feel like drinking anymore, I don’t think it would be a good idea to be surrounded by alcohol/alcoholics on a regular basis.

I frequently enjoy sobriety but I acknowledge the huge transformation one has to undergo in order to stay successfully sober. Sobriety is not as simple as just giving up alcohol. Your internal mechanism must change too. It can be really hard. I do truly feel like I am living a double life sometimes. There is the outside me, what I show people of myself, my reactions, what I talk about, how I act and then there is the inner me. The inner me is always trying to adapt, to catch up, to learn, to change, to conquer, to keep going. Most days I can handle it but some days it just feels like too much.

When the days catch up with me and I feel like I can’t do this anymore, I ask myself why I am doing this. Why am I staying sober? Why do I keep going? What is the point of all of this? Am I really happier now that I am sober?

Depending just how bad I feel, I may think sobriety is just not worth it and life is totally crap without the edge taken off it. But even then, I don’t reach for the bottle.

What keeps me going is the hope that life will get better. I look back and see that even though I don’t always feel like it, I have made really good progress. I am a changed person in so many ways. I experience long spells of time when I don’t just feel good, I feel great. I am growing slowly but surely and inside I feel strongly that to drink again would finish me off for good. I don’t think I could handle a relapse. I have never had one since I quit drinking and it scares the life out of me to think it could happen.

Life does get better in sobriety. In the early days, my mood was changeable by the hour, at least now I have a good few months at a time. I know that the longer I carry on, the longer the good times will last. That is why I keep going in sobriety.

I read over this post and I see my thoughts darting all over the place, that is how sobriety is in the early days. You are all over the place!

Start exercising or bump up your existing exercise routine – I would say this is one of the most important parts of sobriety. You are going to need an outlet for the myriad of emotions in sobriety. In my early days of sobriety, I would go through emotional extremes. I would feel sadness, anger, frustration, hopelessness, elation, disbelief, fear, and you name it I felt it. Not only did I feel it, I would go through a range of these feelings within an hour. Exercise helped, I really don’t think anything else would have got me through this. You need to walk, run, jump, sweat and really exert yourself in sobriety to clear your mind.

Have a zero tolerance for alcohol – This means that you commit yourself to the fact that no-matter what happens; you will not drink another drop of alcohol, (read more about this on Spiritual River). No matter how bad it gets, or how bad you feel, you will not start talking yourself into one little drink, do not start rationalizing and fooling yourself into believing that you can give up another time.

Be honest with yourself -  What is at stake in your life if you continue to drink alcohol? For me it was my family and my sanity and the rest of my life. Be real, who are you hurting, how are you going to fair if you continue to drink for the next five years? 

Start a journal – Another great way to vent and clear your mind is to write. Buy a journal or use a protected document on your pc. Write what you are feeling, what your fears are, just get it all out and do it as regular as possible. I don’t journal as much as I used to but in the beginning it was a life saver. When I could barely face people or not summon up the will to talk over how I felt, my faithful journal was a blessing.

Get a counselor – If you have been an active alcoholic for a long time, then the chances are extremely good that you will benefit from a good counselor. I used one and she was awesome. After a while I stopped going to her but that was for financial reasons. If you have the cash, go and see one.

Pray – I began praying out of desperation but somewhere along the way I found religion again. It has been a good journey since then. Everything has more meaning and depth. Religion is personal and hard to explain but I am so thankful that this experience has led me back to God. Amen!

Find inspiration – read your favorite book, go to the movies, rent funny movies, find what you love. For me, reading and exercising were a huge help and still are.

Get sober!

LOS ANGELES (Reuters)/WKAR- He was not born on the fourth of July, but Louis Gossett, Jr. celebrates it like his birthday, nonetheless.

Not because July 4 is America’s Independence Day. Rather, because it marks the Oscar-winning actor’s own independence from years of living in a haze of freebase cocaine, alcohol and a toxic mold that invaded his house and his body.

Gossett, 74, has detailed his rebirth, which began with a trip to rehab in 2004, as well as details of his remarkable life in a new memoir, “An Actor and a Gentleman,” which hit bookstores in May.

Six years after his own independence day, Gossett, an African American, has regained his health and dedicated his life to erasing racism, which caused anger and resentment in his career and fueled a need to escape through drug use.

“Once you put it through a blender, we are one people. We are all equal, and we need one another to survive and save this planet,” he told Reuters.

But before Gossett could work on what he calls “eracism,” the winner of the best supporting actor Oscar for playing a tough-as-nails drill sergeant in 1982’s “An Officer and a Gentleman” had to go through hell.

His life didn’t start out that way.

In fact, Gossett describes what he considers a charmed life growing up in Brooklyn, New York. While he was raised by working parents in a community rife with gangs, he did not want for much and escaped a lot of violence because, Gossett said, his friends and family members looked out for him.

He was skilled in basketball but had an innate talent for acting that, as a teenager, landed him a plum role in a stage play of “Take a Giant Step.” Gossett took classes at the Actors Studio — the famed school that at various times was home to James Dean, Marlon Brando and Marilyn Monroe.

Gossett writes that in those days, when Monroe was married to playwright Arthur Miller, she was one of the best actresses he ever worked with and, if she had lived and been able to explore her acting, she would have won Oscars too.

“He (Miller) made her think deep,” Gossett said of Monroe. “She was born with an instrument, but then her sexuality was used instead of what was inside her.”

CHAINED TO A TREE

Throughout the 1950s and 60s, Gossett made a good living in Broadway theater before Hollywood beckoned with fat paychecks for television work. And while those jobs were good — he won Emmys and Golden Globe trophies — Los Angeles was hard.

To continue reading this article click here

I can remember specific times when I laughed out loud about something, I surprised myself, I would feel like ‘wow, that was really funny and I haven’t even had a drink’.

Alcohol had numbed my senses to the point that I rarely laughed when sober.  Today, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I love to laugh, I laugh often about all kinds of things and with many different people. Fortunately, the longer I stayed sober, the more I laughed.

Alcohol had robbed me of the natural ability to laugh and see the humor in every day life.

Thank God for my sobriety.

I have nearly completed two years of sobriety. To sum them both up; year 1 was hell, and year 2 has been the best year of my life since I was about 6 years old.

Not only am I sober but I am happier more days than I am not. I am a different person today. I am confident, happy, and I am earning the respect of those closest to me.

I am fit and healthy, I am positive, I am pro-active and I know this is cliché but I am on a journey that feels really good.

I have become comfortable with who I am today. I have accepted that I have an alcoholic past. I have done intense work on myself using personal development, introspection, counseling, journaling, exercising, reading and prayer.

Although I am in a good place within myself right now, it doesn’t mean that my life is without problems. I have many challenges in my life right now that are extremely difficult and unfortunate. The good news is that I no longer need to escape in order to cope. I do not cope anymore, I live.

At two years sober I am excited about the future. There is so much that I want to experience. I have hopes and dreams and I am enjoying taking action in order to accomplish everything on my life list. I can’t remember feeling this enthusiastic about living; it is a great way to feel.

I find it unfortunate that sobriety has so much bad press. Nearly everything I read about sobriety is negative. The blogs, websites and forums are filled with people who write about their experience in sobriety sounding so depressed. They write about how tough each day is how life is a struggle. They go on and on only finding the tiniest things in life to be happy about but complaining relentlessly about everything else. The negativity is intense. I am not saying that these people are without reason; I am just saying that sobriety is not and does not have to be depressing forever.

I tried AA many years ago and although I recognize how significant it has been for many alcoholics, personally I found it very depressing and my sobriety back then lasted a little more than 6 weeks.

This time around, I did all sorts of research into staying sober, including reading some of The Big Book. I also looked into Holistic recovery approaches, Women for Sobriety, and the Seven Weeks to Sobriety method. I have kept an open mind about recovery and what works.

So, here I am, nearly two years sober for the first time in seventeen years. I have a second chance at life and I am enjoying sobriety more days than I am not.

Almost without realizing it, my second year of sobriety has been about finding faith and using prayer. I have developed a faith and confidence in God which I have never known before. This didn’t happen over night nor was it something I set out to do but it has proved to be the most successful method of sustaining sobriety that I have come across.

I have spent time studying the Bible and I thoroughly recommend it to anyone regardless of whether you believe in God or not. It is such a practical book that teaches you how to live, cope, handle others, and live a worthy life. This book is amazing and it is turning my life around.

Maybe if I give you an idea of how I use prayer and faith in my own life, you will understand how and why it is changing my life.

I felt a little uneasy when I woke up today. I couldn’t really put my finger on the reason why but this was a familiar feeling from old.

Later in the day, I thought back to this morning and the uneasy feeling I had. It had disappeared almost as soon as I realized I had it. I thought back to my drinking days, just under two years ago. I would wake up with the uneasy feeling every day. I would spend all day trying to get rid of it, usually by having a few drinks to keep it at bay. I didn’t have prayer, faith and God back then. I just had me. I would feel scared, alone, anxious and panic ridden most of the time. The only time I would feel good was once I had a few drinks in me. Only then, would I feel ok and be able to handle whatever was on the agenda for the day.  I could never quite explain how I felt to friends or family. I had created an alter ego that everyone knew. It was seldom that I would come clean and tell everyone how I really felt. Now and again when life got too tough (which was often), I would have a mini melt down and tell some of how I felt to my closest friends. Usually this confession would soon be forgotten, it would be replaced with the feel good conversation a few drinks brings on. Then I would be back to my alter ego, who everyone was used to.

The difference today, and every day in my life now is that I never feel alone for very long. No matter how uneasy I feel, or what difficulty arises in my life, I don’t feel as unglued as I used to. I don’t feel alone or terrified or desperate for a drink to make me feel better. That part of my life has changed dramatically. Praying and having faith in God is the reason I am able to enjoy and live sobriety as well as I do.

I can’t tell anyone how to live but I can tell you what I have done to get me two sober years of living after half a lifetime of alcoholism. I hope this helps. I have to recommend the Bible though, it is truly an amazing lifeline.

51 Things You Should Know About Recovery by Patrick Meninga

To read more about Patrick Meninga from Spiritual River, you can read an interview that I did with him earlier this year. Interview with Patrick

 Eileen P. DeClemente wrote a book about her experience of alcoholism and recovery. What is unusual about about Eileen is that she has alcohol induced dementia. This is the first I have heard about the link between alcoholism and dementia at such an early age.

This is taken from Eileen’s website:

“Eileen DeClemente was 11 years old when she took her first drink. For 26 years she used drugs and alcohol to absorb her pain.
At the height of her addiction she was taking more than 90 pills a day.

By all accounts, Eileen DeClemente should be dead.
�
ALIVE is the inspiring story of one woman’s battle back to sobriety and a family who loved her through the darkest years of her life.
�
This courageous story recounts the details of an addiction so consuming it nearly killed her and destroyed her family. In this raw and riveting memoir, Eileen shares her fight to recover and live.  Finding courage where their was no hope, she shares her defeats, her victories and the story of her present struggle with alcohol induced Dementia.�
�
To anyone who has ever battled an addiction, and to the people who have loved them. This story is for you.”

I have not read the book yet but I thought that many of you mind find this inspiring and interesting. Here is some.

To read more about Eileen or to purchase her book, visit the website: www.eileenisalive.com.

Everyday, believe that:

• You are wise
• You are intelligent
• You are sensible
• You are disciplined
• You are honest
• You are truthful
• You are noble
• You are good
• You are prudent
• You are reliable
• You are virtuous
• You are eloquent
• You are kind
• You are calm
• You are peaceful
• You are gentle
• You are cheerful
• You are happy
• You are godly

 Each day, say to yourself:

• I seek wisdom
• I seek knowledge
• I seek understanding
• I seek righteousness

 Then remind yourself of whom you really are by saying:

•  I am wise
• I am intelligent
• I am sensible
• I am disciplined
• I am honest
• I am truthful
• I am noble
• I am good
• I am prudent
• I am reliable
• I am virtuous
• I am eloquent
• I am kind
• I am calm
• I am peaceful
• I am gentle
• I am cheerful
• I am happy
• I am godly
• I have honor
• I work hard
• I seek discernment

Then, go off and enjoy your day!

“And you must love the lord your God, with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. The second is equally important; love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandments are greater than these” Jesus – Mark 12:29

 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult and only a few ever find it. Matthew 7:14 

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect” Romans 12:2

 “In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly”. Romans 12:6

 “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think that you know it all!” Romans 12:13

 “Wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

 “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19

“What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24

 “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Jesus – Mark 11:22

 “Thank God, for all he does”

 “If you need Wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you” James 1:2

 “If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them” Jesus – Matthew 18:19

 “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16

 “Are you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises” James – 5:13

 “You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it’ Jesus – Matthew 21:22

 “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive them” -Jesus – Matthew 21:22

“When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing. If you need Wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you” James 1:2

 “Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened” Matthew 7:7

 “You don’t have enough faith, I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, Move from here to there and it would move, nothing would be impossible’ Jesus – Matthew 17:20

 “According to your faith be it unto you” Matthew 18:19

“Faith power works wonders”

“Expect the best at all times. Never think of the worst. Drop it out of your  thought, relegate it. Let there be no thought in your mind that the worst will happen”

“Take the best into your mind and only that. Nurture it, concentrate on it, emphasize it, visualize it, prayerize it, surround it with faith. Make it your obsession.

 “Even if you may be down to the worst, the best is potentially within you. You only have to find it, release it, and rise up with it. This requires courage and character, to be sure, but the main requirement is faith. Cultivate faith and you will have the necessary courage and character.”

“He emptied his mind and he received peace as a gift from God”

“According to your faith be it unto you” Matthew 18:19

“What you commit yourself to be will change what you are and make you into a completely different person. Let me repeat that. Not the past but the future conditions you, because what you commit yourself to become determines what you are – more than anything that ever happened to you yesterday or the day before. Therefore I ask you a very simple question: What are your commitments? Where are you going? What are you going to be? You show me somebody who hasn’t decided, and I’ll show you somebody who has no identity, no personality, no direction.”

Source: ‘Raising Positive Kids In A Negative World” by Zig Ziglar – A statement from Dr Anthony Campolo.

For all the women in out there who are rebuilding their life in sobriety or who are trying to overcome alcoholism; Proverbs 31 – A Wife of Noble Character might help you find your way.

I have edited the original proverb slightly but I think the message speaks clearly regardless. Wouldn’t it feel good to be this kind of woman?

Proverbs 31 – A Wife of Noble Character
Virtuous and Capable
She brings her husband good
Her husband can trust her
She gets up before dawn to prepare the breakfast for her household
And plans the days work
She is energetic and strong, a hard worker
She makes sure her dealings are profitable
Her lamp burns late into the night
She extends a helping hand to the poor and needy
She has no fear of winter because everyone in her household has warm clothes
She dresses in fine linens
She is clothed with strength and dignity
She laughs without fear of the future
When she speaks her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness
Her children stand and bless her
Her husband praises her

Source: The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Second Edition from Tyndale House Publishers, Inc

If you are sober or thinking about getting sober, here is another valuable tool for your sobriety kit; Klove radio station.

Listen to Christian Sobriety Music.

Listen to Klove radio station in the car, at work or at home. The songs are so inspiring. If somebody recommended this to me a few years ago, I would have laughed. But now, I can’t stop recommending it to others. The music is great, very trendy and catchy. Each song carries its own message about God, Jesus, life, and sobriety.

Give it a try and take a look at their website too. There is a special area for prayer requests, staff pastors will pray for you. You can pray for others too.

Who would have thought it? Nearly two years sober and listening to Christian music every day. I can’t explain what the music does to your mind once you start listening, other than to say it makes you feel really good.

If you are already a fan then good for you. If not, click here and give it a try. I know that you are going to be pleasantly surprised.

“Alcohol And Substance Abuse Will Not Take Away Your Fears” is a guest post by Stanley Popovich.

Alcohol and substance abuse or any other addictions will not take away your problems and fears.
In the short run, they might make you feel better, but in the long run these addictions will only make things worse.

So what do you do to make your problems and fears go away? Well, since you can’t runaway from them, then the best solution is to tackle your fears head on no matter how strong they may be. The key is to be smart in how you try to manage these fears. Here are some ways in how to manage your persistent fears and anxieties.

The first step is to learn to take it one day at a time. Instead of worrying about how you will get through the rest of the week or coming month, try to focus on today. Each day can provide us with different opportunities to learn new things and that includes learning how to deal with your problems. Focus on the present and stop trying to predict what may happen next week. Next week will take care of itself.

Remember that no one can predict the future with one hundred percent certainty. Even if the thing that you feared does happen there are circumstances and factors that you can’t predict which can be used to your advantage. For instance, let’s say at your place of work that you miss the deadline for a project you have been working on for the last few months. Everything you feared is coming true. Suddenly, your boss comes to your office and tells you that the deadline is extended and that he forgot to tell you the day before. This unknown factor changes everything. Remember: we may be ninety-nine percent correct in predicting the future, but all it takes is for that one percent to make a world of difference.

Another technique that is very helpful is to have a small notebook of positive statements that makes you feel good. Whenever you come across an affirmation that makes you feel good, write it down in a small notebook that you can carry around with you in your pocket. Whenever you feel depressed or frustrated, open up your small notebook and read those statements. This will help to manage your negative thinking.

Be smart in how you deal with your fears and anxieties. Do not try to tackle everything all at once. When facing a current or upcoming task that overwhelms you with a lot of anxiety, break the task into a series of smaller steps. Completing these smaller tasks one at a time will make the stress more manageable and increases your chances of success.

The important thing is to get the proper help by seeing a professional. Avoiding your problem through the use of alcohol or other substances will do nothing in the long run in fixing your problems. It will just make things worse. Managing your fear and anxieties will take some hard work. Be patience, persistent and stay committed in trying to solve your problem.

BIOGRAPHY:

Stan Popovich is the author of “A Layman’s Guide to Managing Fear Using Psychology, Christianity and Non Resistant Methods” – an easy to read book that presents a general overview of techniques that are effective in managing persistent fears and anxieties. For additional information go to: managing fear.com 

Throughout my sobriety I have read extensively; mainly books about sobriety, personal development, and success.

Now I am on a journey through the Bible. I will be sharing useful information that relates to sobriety in a series of posts called  “Sobriety Bible”.

These are wise words. They were written some time back in 960 B.C by Soloman, Agur and Lemuel, according to Jewish tradition.

The Bible that I am reading from is the “New Living Translation”.

Proverb 4. There is so much to glean from this Proverb. I love it. The title is ‘A Father’s Wise Advice’.

Proverbs 4:25 – Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you
Proverbs 4:26 – Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path
Proverbs 4:27 – Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil

This just speaks to me. It is so relevant in sobriety.  This is my interpretation;

Don’t look back, look forward, focus on today and what the future brings
Visualize the sober life ahead of you and follow the vision
Know what will sidetrack you and stay away from it. The “evil” is alcohol.

Another part of Proverb 4 that I like is:

Proverb 4:5 – Get Wisdom; develop good judgment.
Proverb 4:6 -Don’t turn your back on wisdom for she will protect you.
Love her, and she will guard you.
Proverb 4:7 -Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!
And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.

When I was an active alcoholic, I think I lacked good judgment and wisdom. I did not live life using my greatest potential, nor did I make wise decisions. My judgment was affected, so was my understanding about life in general.
Alcohol changed my perception about life;  it had stripped my ability to live a really powerful life. Can you relate?

What is Wisdom? The definitions according to the Encarta Dictionary are:

1. Good Sense – the ability to make sensible decisions and judgments based on personal knowledge and experience
2. Wise decision – good sense shown in a way of thinking judgment, or action
3. Accumulated learning – accumulated knowledge of a sphere of activity that has been gained through experience

When talking about wisdom, we are also talking about; understanding, perception insight, knowledge, astuteness, intelligence, acumen, good judgment.

What is Good Judgment? The definitions according to the Encarta Dictionary are:

1. Judgment – discernment or good sense – the ability to form sound opinions and make sensible decisions or reliable guesses
2. Act of making statement – in logic, the mental act of making or understanding a positive or negative proposition about something

Whether you believe in God or not, I think these words can add meaning to your life.

Welcome to Sobriety and the Bible, or my Sobriety Bible!

This is a new avenue for me. It surprises me in some ways but it excites me too.

I have been sober for 18 months; I did not join a specific alcohol recovery group, instead, I have researched Women for Sobriety, A.A, and creative methods of recovery. I seem to have taken something from everything that is available and I have created my own way, it may sound unusual but my way seems to be working.

About six months ago, I began to pray more, it was instinctive, I can’t quite explain why other than to say I became more concious about a Higher Power, prayer and thought.

I have found a strength within myself that I never knew before and my life has improved dramatically in many areas. When I look back and define what changes have made the biggest impact in my life, I would have to say that it has come from prayer, an interest in a Higher Power, and my interest in the Bible.

One evening, I had the idea to start Sobriety Bible; the idea was to share what I find in the Bible that relates to living a sober life after alcoholism.

I don’t know where this will lead or if what I have to say will be appreciated. Everyone has their own religious beliefs and people can be very set in their own ways. I am not a theologian or an expert in this field so what I say is nothing more than my own opinion. Regardless of that, I am going to do my exploring and sharing because that is the way I feel I am being pulled.

I don’t go to church and I was not raised by a heavily religious family, I did however have some strong influences in my life, family members who were believers and very much a part of the church.

When I was a teen, I changed from someone who used to say prayer’s every night, to a teenager who forgot about God. I pushed aside everything to do with God and I didn’t give him much thought for a very long time except to blame him for whatever was going wrong in my life.

I began drinking alcohol heavily in my teens and my problems surmounted from there. Heavy drinking, lack of thought about God didn’t lead me to living my best life.

So, here I am today, interested in living my best life and wanting to share my journey through the Bible. If you think this sounds interesting or if you have something to offer, please stick around and introduce yourself.

There is no doubt that alcohol recovery is an arduous journey. Some days during my sobriety, I have found it really useful to keep a list of some of my favorite sobriety quotes handy. I often come across sobriety or inspirational quotes that resonate with me for one reason or another, when that happens I jot them down before I forget.

Here are my sobriety quotes, inspirational quotes and quotes that I just like;

‘Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human existence’

‘Take action to do the things that make you happy, with the people who make you happy, and to be happy with the person you are now’

First survive. Then thrive.

Keep your eye on the prize — while you do what it takes to survive – Millionaire Mommy Next door.

“He who knows others is wise.
He who knows himself is enlightened.”
– Tao Te Ching

“If you have only one smile in you, give it to the people you love. Don’t be surly at home, then go out in the street and start grinning ‘good morning’ at total strangers.”

- Maya Angelou, Poet, Writer and Performer

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of other’s opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary.” - Steve Jobs

When the wine goes in, strange things come out.  ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.  ~Oscar Levant

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.  ~Jean Kerr

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.  ~Winston Churchill

“Success is the art of going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.”

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”

~Dr. Suess~

“You can have anything you want, if you want it badly enough. You can be anything you want to be, if you hold that desire with singleness of purpose.”

–Abraham Lincoln

“What other people think of you is none of your business”

“When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”

–Theodore Roosevelt

“Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go.”

–T.S. Eliot

“Obstacles are those frightening things that become visible when we take our eyes off our goals.”

–Henry Ford

“Up, sluggard, and waste not life–there’ll be rest enough in the grave.”
Benjamin Franklin

Learn the art of changing your mind from failure consciousness to success consciousness – Napoleon Hill

When the student is ready, the teacher will appear. Zen Proverb

You can think and grow rich - 
I’ll want it and I’ll have it

Drag yourself out of depression. Try courage – do something different even though you don’t want to or do not have the energy to do it. Do it anyway and reward yourself for being courageous. Susan McMahon Ph.D – The portable Therapist

Change your behaviors and your feelings will follow – Susan McManhon

You can not control your feelings, it is a futility to try. Focus on accepting your feelings without fear and practice controlling your expressions of these feelings. There is time between the awareness of what you are feeling and your behavior. Begin noticing this time period.

There is no need for an instant reaction

“If you knew how powerful a negative thought was you would never have another”

unwanted tasks are the the #1 cause of your productivity problems.If you only did things you wanted to do, you’d probably be the most productive person in the world.

NEVER GIVE UP. Resolve here and now that you will keep moving forward until you have reached your goal. By Steven Barnes – lifewrite.com

Believe in your own strengths and see your true value.  It is a key to success, without this ability, you won’t believe in yourself. – Zen Habits. (I edited this!)

‘I yam what I yam, and that’s all I yam’ Popeye. (I am what I am, take it or leave it)

As Steve Jobs said, never settle. If you find something that’s just a bit better than your current job, that’s better … but don’t stop there. Keep looking. Don’t give up the search.

“The wise person listens to everyone and thanks them for their opinion. Then he sends them away and does what he thinks best” Confucius.

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.
Rita Mae Brown

Freedom to choose requires the courage to take responsibility for your life.

Be careful what you water your dreams with. Water them with worry and fear and you will produce weeds that choke the life from your dream. Water them with optimism and solutions and you will cultivate success.”

–        Lao Tzu (Taoist philosopher)

To attract other people you must be attractive

Work harder on yourself than you do on your job

People look on the outside, God looks on the inside

Be smart, be wise, Be strong but not rude

What is troubling you? Not what’s wrong with you!

Do you suffer from social anxiety?
Do you use alcohol to make social events manageable?
Has your alcohol consumption increased because of social anxiety?
Are you an alcoholic or are you socially anxious?

I suffered with severe social anxiety for many years, from my late teens until fairly recently. I thought that social anxiety was something that I was going to suffer with for the rest of my life; I believed it was a part of me, possibly genetic, and something that I would have to get used to forever.

For years I used alcohol to self medicate, I knew that alcohol would take the edge off the anxiety, alcohol allowed me to function on many different levels. Without alcohol, I was unable to do the most basic of things, such as look someone in the eye.

Today, I am a different person than I was 18 months ago. The social anxiety that ruled my life is practically non-existent. I can walk into a room with two people or a room with a thousand people, not only can I cope with it, I enjoy it, too.

I have done many things that have contributed to my success in overcoming social anxiety, I have spent a huge amount of time working on increasing my self esteem and confidence, I have also spent time with a therapist and resolved many issues that were a problem for me, I have read tons of books and learnt about addiction and the many problems it causes, and I have learnt how to cultivate enthusiasm and inspiration for life.

Here are some resources that have helped me;

The Social Anxiety Institute (SAI) has been in my sights for a long time, I absorbed everything on the website including watching the videos. You can also see the videos on YouTube if you search for them. I really wanted to go to one of the programs for treatment but it didn’t happen. The website is informative and helpful if you suffer from social anxiety.

Johnathan Berent has a website and a book specifically about social anxiety. I benefitted greatly from the series of podcasts that he has on ITunes, I would recommend you look them up and listen to them. It helped me enormously to hear about other people suffering from the exact same problem as me. The more I learned about social anxiety, the less I feared it, that is the simplest way I can describe how I have been able to overcome it as much as I have. Being educated about social anxiety has taken the fear away.

Ultimately, the one action I took that had the greatest impact on eliminating social anxiety, was giving up drinking alcohol. As scary as that sounds it is true. The further in to my sobriety I get, the less social anxiety I suffer.

Don’t give up trying to get sober!

I wrote this poem in November 2008, four months after I giving up drinking alcohol. Keeping a sobriety journal allows me to look back and see how how far I have come.

I do not profess to be a poet and I am working on my grammar, but these words still ring true to me today.

Finding freedom at last
Finding me finally
Letting go of the past
Growing slowly

Years have past
Friendships grown and lost
Two new souls brought into the world
New life brings new memories

Time to move aside
Cast away all doubts
There are others who need my strength
Everything makes more sense

 Everything has changed
A little on the outside
Much on the inside

How do you feel? Has sobriety changed you for the better? Are you struggling with your sobriety? Have you tried writing as a way to convey your feelings? What do you do to make sense of sobriety?

Please feel free to share with us.

Friends.

During my first year of sobriety, I experienced a multitude of feelings towards my friends and people I knew.

Initially, I didn’t want to see many people. I had the intense desire to be alone and with close family only. I did not feel comfortable telling my friends that I had made the decision to stop drinking alcohol. I wanted to make sense of what I was doing before I spoke about it with anyone else.

Planning my day and learning to overcome the intense desire to drink alcohol took all of my strength and will. I did not have the energy to expend with other people.

 I believe that having alone time is very important during early sobriety, writing in a journal during this time is extremely beneficial, it aides the process of emptying the mind of negativity and boredom.

As the months passed, I spent time scrutinizing my relationships, there were times when I thought that I would have to end certain friendships.

 After the first few months of sobriety, I felt like I had become a completely different person. At one point, I could not see how my old friendships would fit in with my new life.

By the end of the year I had maintained my long term friendships. My feelings had changed. I found that throughout the first year of sobriety, my mind was all over the place. I experienced doubt about myself, insecurity, anxiety, low self esteem and confusion. There were times when I did not think that any of my friends would like who I had become, I felt so radically different. One day I explained this to a therapist I was seeing and she said that although I felt so different, my friends would see that the “essence” of who I am remained the same. It didn’t make much sense to me at that time but it does now.

Although many of my friends still drink alcohol, I have remained friends with them. I do not see them very often and it works well this way. They are still close to my heart but our lifestyles are different now. I can enjoy their company and  be comfortable when they are drinking alcohol in my presence, they still enjoy who I am but it is a different experience now.

I have noticed that my choice of friends has changed too. When I meet new people, I tend not to gravitate to the drinkers and smokers anymore. Even if I really like them, I know that to be surrounded by people who are drinking and smoking regularly is not something that I want any part of now. It would not be in my best interest to make friends like this because of the temptation involved, it is just not worth it.

The change that takes place within you during the first year of sobriety is enormous. I would not advise hasty decisions regarding friendships unless you are certain that they have a negative effect on you. Spend time with yourself, nature, a journal, and a therapist for the first year. It may not sound like much fun but the rewards that you will reap in your second year will be massive.

I am fast approaching two years of sobriety. Not too shabby for someone whose life revolved around alcohol for seventeen years.

Based on my experience throughout this time, I have put together a list of twenty one action items that I believe will benefit every newly sober person.

I would have appreciated this list back in July 2008 when I first got sober. Fortunately, I did come across Spiritual River, which was a great starting point.

(1) Write frequently in a journal. Do this whether you feel like it or not; your mind will be clearer.
(2) Visit a bookstore or library. Pick a selection of books that interest you to occupy the time.
(3) Get a therapist; a good one can help you through the early and difficult days of sobriety.
(4) Stay away from anyone who drinks alcohol. There will come a time when you can handle other drinkers but initially it is safer not to be around them.
(5) If you are religious, pray regularly and read The Bible.
(6) Connect with others who are newly sober; you could try A.A, Women for Sobriety, or join a online forum.
(7) Read books about alcoholism and recovery. Thousands of people have been in your shoes and have written about their experience.
(8) Go for walks and start up an exercise regime.
(9) Plan your day, week, month
(10) Write a list of the activities you enjoy
(11) Drink plenty of water
(12) Take vitamins
(13) Tell your doctor about your decision to stop drinking alcohol.
(14) Confide in a close friend that you trust about your decision to stop drinking alcohol.
(15) Clean and declutter your home, room, desk and car.
(16) Listen to Zig Ziglar podcasts on ITunes; there are over 100 of them, they will inspire and motivate you.
(17) Watch plenty of comedy movies and shows.
(18) Read any “Anthony Robbins” books.
(19) Write down 10 things that you are grateful for; add to this each day.
(20) Read “Zig Ziglar’s Life Changing Procedure” for 30 days in the morning and evening.
(21) Visit Spiritual River’s website; packed with information about “How To Stop Drinking Alcohol & Get The Addiction Help You Need.”

I’ll Stop Tomorrow; 

Paul Campbell has hit the nail on the head when he says ‘This book was written by somebody who had everything and lost everything’ and ‘someone who went through the living hell of chronic alcoholism and the tough times of recovery’. 

Author Paul Campbell was once a highly successful advertising executive in Ireland. He had the kind of financial and personal success that many people can only dream of until alcohol nearly destroyed him. Thankfully, he lived to tell the tale. Today, he is a successfully recovered alcoholic turned addictions counselor living in Kildare, Ireland. 

Through a man’s perspective, Campbell touches on the many issues surrounding the alcoholic. Now a addictions counselor but once a chronic alcoholic, he has his finger on the pulse of alcoholism from both perspectives. 

Campbell was asked to write a regular news column about alcoholism for the Irish Book Review. He covers topics such as ‘The Alcoholic Mind’, ‘Alcohol Obsessions’, ‘Handling the Holidays in Recovery’ and ‘Intervention Advice’, these columns provided the basis for his first book ‘I’ll Stop Tomorrow’. 

In ‘I’ll Stop Tomorrow’ Campbell delves into why the alcoholic drinks, he asks if you are an alcoholic and then supplies a test for you to take.  He also speaks of anger, boundaries, the mind of an alcoholic, women and alcohol, relationships, control, physical effects of alcohol, AA, recovery, society, making amends, an extremely useful intervention section, and a subject close to my own heart; shyness and alcohol. 

Time and time again whilst reading ‘I’ll Stop Tomorrow,’ I found myself nodding in agreement with what Campbell had to say about the disease of alcoholism. He has a canny way of making you feel understood. I admire his educated view and personal insight on alcoholism as well as the fact that his style is neither pushy nor preachy.

This effective book will benefit many audiences, especially family and friends of the alcoholic, executives, housewives, husbands, wives, alcoholics, the newly sober and anyone wondering if they may have a problem with alcohol. 

Paul Campbell’s first book is a great addition to the alcohol and recovery genre, I am certainly better informed for having read it. My hope is that he returns with a follow up book that focuses on long term sobriety.

Click here for more information about Paul Campbell   

Click here for ‘I’ll Stop Tomorrow’ by Paul Campbell  

Click here to read Paul Campbell’s weekly columns

Hi Everyone,

I had not heard from Debbie for a while but then she got back in contact. Here is what has been going on for Debbie;

I haven’t checked rp for a while. I saw your most recent post and had to write. I didn’t want to  but here goes.

Just shy of six months of sobriety, sometime in mid November, I relapsed. I started drinking again. At first it was a bottle of wine and I recall feeling really glad that the alcohol didn’t affect me the way that it used to. And then I went back to my old best friend gin and things have been slowly but surely going downhill.

What you said about routine really struck me because when I was off work, I woiuld get up, journal and go to the gym. And having that routine allowed me to create habits that resulted in nearly six months of sobriety, a weight loss of 20lbs and much better financial management.

While I have been glad to get back to work, it has thrown my routine. Coupled with the fact that my roomates computer is on the fritz….well. Journaling allowed me to work things out without acting out and to talk myself out of drinking. I never realized how central it was to me staying sober. I’ve never met you in person Madison, nor have I met any of the people who read your site but I felt accountable to you. I still do.

I stopped paying attention to my sobriety and fell off the bandwagon. I’ve been working again for a month and drinking for about the same amount of time and this isn’t the script that I wanted to write. I wanted to be clear headed for this job. I still am though it won’t last for much longer I know if I don’t get sober. I’m glad that I was sober for five months I learned some emotional skills that are still serving me well. I need to find a healthy routine again. I made some mistakes at work and its been pretty hard to keep at it and keep trying my best at work although the crippling anxiety is gone (I think in large part due to heavy doses of Wellbutrin) and better emotional skills. Before I was sober I think I would have chucked in the towel by now and have started trying to surf the internet all day.

Sometimes I think that the posts on sobriety websites can be a little repetitive but that’s important because I think you need to constantly remind yourself WHY you need to stay sober and keep your view forward looking rather than looking down at your feet. Basically to propel yourself into long term sobriety.

I’m working on a new sobriety date. I have school in 3 weeks and I know that drinking and studying didn’t work out for me at all so I have to knock it off before then.

I don’t want to be the person who just never got it together.

Debbie

-

Tonight I had to give my son a talk about drugs, it was a part of his cub scout advancement to earn another badge. I can not tell you how good it felt that I was able to speak with him honestly about the ill effects of involving himself in such things. Imagine if this was 17 months ago, would I have said hold on son, let me just fill up my wine glass and pop out for a quick cigarette before I we get started. How would I have been able to look him in the eyes like I did tonight if I hadn’t of given up drinking and smoking. I didn’t share my story, he is too young for that right now but I did tell him what he needed to know right now. I will always know that when he looked me straight in the eyes tonight, he knew that I was being honest with him, and when he grows older I am very sure this talk will make a difference in his life.

I was very grateful to be sober today. I will remember this for the rest of my life and continue to thank god that I was given the strength and courage to successfully over come my addictions.

I just read a comment from my friend Paul Cook, he is the author of a fantastic sobriety book called “Cooked in LA”, if you haven’t read my book review already you can click here to find out all about it.  Paul was letting me know that a potential movie of the book could be in the pipeline, that would be amazing! Paul’s story was meant for the big screen. It got me thinking about sobriety movies and I couldn’t really think of any. Pretty ridiculous considering what an issue alcoholism is and not to mention the millions of addiction success stories that there are to be told. The only movie I could think of was the one with Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia, When A Man Loves A Woman. Anyway, I found a website that lists a bunch of sobriety movies, not nearly as many as there should be but there are quite a few.  The website listing these movies is SobrietyOnline – Philadelphia’s Portal To Recovery, the website is home to a host of resources but for the movie section in particular click here .

It amazes me at how few sobriety and addiction movies there are. Thankfully there are many sobriety books and addiction books to keep us well informed and inspired.

If anyone knows of any other sobriety movies or addiction movies, please share them on Recovery Princess.