I have done it again….over committed myself and am trying to stretch myself to thin.

I really appreciate your kind words. I will be back with Day 7 very soon.

So pleased we all understand each other!

Glad Recovery Princess is helpful to you. It is what keeps me going!

http://www.womenforsobrietyonline.com/

Here is ACT/mindfulness/addictive behaviors information…

http://www.mindfulrp.com/

You only have to do it *today*.

I am glad that you are getting something out of this website. Congratulations on 6 months, that is something to be extremely proud of. Good for you.

I like the mantra! thanks for sharing.

You must be feeling terrible right now. I hope you have been able to stay away from the alcohol. Guilt for sure will keep you sober for a day or so but not much longer than that. I have been there, the terrible actions of drunkeness especially when it involves your significant other is no fun at all when sober! Give yourself a break. As bad as it was, It is probably not as bad as your mind is making you think it is.

The way I saw it when I felt like you and had the same realization as you that I was an alcoholic, was that suddenly I had to fix absolutely everything in that one very instant. I felt like it was the end of my world. Petrified, terrified, no clue how on earth I was going to take one foot forward into sobriety, guilt, anger, fear the list goes on and on.

I would say that you have had a wake up call. This drunken episode has happenned and you can not take it back but you can use it to move forward.

Seriously, if you are not an AA fan, then begin reading the “Spiritual River’ website, that is packed with informative articles and comments by other people just like you and me. Trying to find a way out of alcoholism and into a better way of life. Then, get yourself a therapist, go and see a few different counsellors until you find one that you feel comfortable with. Educate yourself about alcoholism by reading.

You say you have no goals, well I would say that having 3 kids doesn’t really leave you with much time to ponder your own goals but this is all the kind of stuff that a good therapist can help you work through.

Hang in there, keep writing, reading and using forums to communicate with others who can support you in this.

Stay strong, don’t be too hard on yourself, get some help and hang in there! Let us know how you get on.

My mantra during rough times…

================================================
“BUT ALL WILL BE WELL, AND EVERY KIND OF THING WILL BE WELL.” Julian of Norwich
================================================

Embracing a new life in sobriety brings all kinds of things to light. Friends and the social aspect has always been a struggle for me in sobriety. Drinking was a part of my culture, my friends, family and everyone I knew drank for every reason and occasion, I certainly wasn’t alone in my consumption habits, the problem for me was that I just couldn’t handle it, call it a chemical imbalance, a personal weakness or an addictive personality or whatever but when I stopped drinking, my relationships changed as well.

You are in the very early days of sobriety Nancy. The focus right now should be on you and how you are going to get through with a plan.

Four years into my sobriety, my true friends are still in my sphere. My relationships have definitely taken a different priority in my life simply because I have had myself to pull through sobriety and learn to live again, that coupled with family makes it that way. I think though, the people who you have a deep bond too will always be in your life. Those who kind of fade away, well maybe that is the way it was meant to be?

I think the biggest things that pulled me through the early days were reading, writing (journalling) long walks and exercise and also a “zero tolerance for alcohol policy” I read about this on the “Spiritual River” website and as soon as I heard it I just knew that I needed exactly that.

I wouldn’t worry about pushing people away. If you are struggling with alcohol problems then your focus needs to be on you and not other people.

Don’t discount proffessional help it is detrimental in sobriety.

Good luck Nancy and keep reading and sharing!

Good for you and congratulations on your sobriety. You have hit the nail on the head when you say “getting sober is the easy part, staying that way is the hard part”. Although there is nothing really easy about overcoming the urge to drink alcohol in the early days, when you compare it later on in your sobriety, you see that learning to live in a new way is most certainly the difficult part and learning not to revert back to drinking because you are not yet equipped to deal with everything, is the hardest part.

I am in my fourth year of sobriety now and I am still learning to live differently. There are times when I think this is so hard but the good news is that my good days and times absolutely far outweigh those down days. I can honestly say that the balance now between good days bad days is 75/25. (75 being good!).

I remember 6 weeks sober, that is a huge accomplishment.

I also remember the haunting times of really remembering what it was like when I was drinking all the time. I think that in the beginning, these memories are strong and very vivid, then after the initial horror and reality shock, they come back in different times in your life because you begin to process through some of them. That has been my experience.

In the early days, I found that making a commitment to staying strong, trying new things, maintaining order, reading, exercising, planning the future, cooking, cleaning, having a daily plan, weekly plan, reading about others who were successfuly sober, all of these things kept me strong. Also, writing was huge for me, getting it all out on paper helped clear my mind immensely when I felt overcome with feelings, thoughts and emotions that I didn’t know how to cope with.

There are many times when my thoughts are happy, so many days when there is not enough time in the day to do all the things that I want too. So many new memories and now traditions that I remember proudly, there are the times when I am able to help others and not be so caught up in my own drama, so many good things come out of sobriety. It’s not easy but I don’t think life is supposed to be easy is it?

Thanks for your comment Billy. You have taken me back to my own time of early sobriety and it is refreshing to see that I have come along way. It is easy to get stuck in the moment and caught up with everything. Celebrate your progress by buying yourself a new book, or buying a new T-Shirt to remember of what you are capable of.

Don’t forget about the serious side such seeking out the help of your doctor for the physical aspect and a good therapist to help you through these difficult times.

Good luck to you Billy and check back in with us soon.

I am a newbie to sobriety (6 weeks) and to this site. both of which I love. Problem I am having these days are remembering my past. When I do, I think of things I have said and the things that I have done that make me cringe. Can I or should I try to somehow erase these cringe memories, or should I hang on to them to remind me of a life that I had – a life I now longer have, nor want?

I feel free now, but I know my journey has just begun. I read here that getting sober is the easy part, and staying that way is the hard part. I feel this is true, because I have found that this time I have quit, I have found it easy…really easy. The only thing that has been really hard, has been day dreaming sometimes of my drunken past and all that it has given me. (more like taken away from me). It haunts me. It hurts me. It scares me.

I am hoping that this too will pass. I am trying to fill my mind with happy thoughts so maybe one day, that will be all I can think about. I guess my past is who I am/was, and that will never change.

We will see.

Sobriety IS the answer… Enjoy

Billy

And I love Michael’s list of 88 things he hasn’t done in the last 90 days. I was just thinking about not having alcohol sweats anymore…such a big thing! Anyway, thanks again. I’m going to keep this close at hand.

I hear you when you talk about loneliness. I have been going through a phase where I am really focused on my relationships of the past and who I am today and what relationships I have today.

I can not lie. It is hard work changing from being one way to another. ie, drunk to sober. Some days I long for the relief of a drink and the friendships that although were probably not as deep as I thought, I enjoyed the times we had because they were light hearted and fun with alot of laughter. BUT…..let’s be real here. The good times did not last and those days are done. I spent 17 long years drinking myself through life so the way I see it, I still need to put in at least another 14 years of sobriety before I can honestly tell whether sobriety sucks!

Seriously, I think that sobriety is about building a new life. Building a new life doesn’t happen in a few months or even a few years. It takes a lifelong committment. We spent so much time drinking now it is time to spend time rebuilding ourselves and our lives and stop looking for instant gratification.

I say all of this after having a rough day today. Even at 3 years I have rough days but good days FAR outweigh any rough days.

I am glad you like the site.

Thanks for your comment Lisa.

I wish you all the best.