For such a long time I have thought that to make money or to desire wealth is to be somewhat greedy and not sincere of what life is truly about. This has been even more so since becoming a Christian again. Every time I think about success or making money or wanting to live the good life, I am then countered  with this feeling of guilt. It has somewhat plagued me. In fact, thinking about money, I have always had a very flippant attitude, I was always determined that money was something that should be given freely, that you shouldn’t be stingy, that money shouldn’t rule you. Well, I still believe that somewhat but thankfully I have a better understanding of money now.

This morning I was driving to work and I had an insight, I just love those moments, when your thoughts come together and you make sense of something that has been puzzling you for ages. I realize now that God has given us all special abilities, gifts and interests and he wants us to use them for the good of others. We are supposed to serve using all of these gifts from God. I had this vision of being a Christian that I could not reconcile with money. My vision was that I kind of needed to give up everything, tear off my clothes, give away all of my possessions, abandon my beauty routine and highlights and literally stalk the earth preaching from the bible and asking everyone to come with me and follow me. I never could quite get my mind around it all. Part of that may come from some of my old trait of being ‘all or nothing’.

So my insight has enlightened me, now I can see clearly that we do all have special gifts, abilities and interests whether we see them in ourselves or not, they are there. Our duty is to recognize them and start using them to serve in any capacity that we can identify. As Rick Warren says in his book, The Purpose Driven Life’ you need to experiment with serving in order to find out what you are good at and what you enjoy. If you don’t how would you know. If you always do what you have always done how do you know if you are good at anything else.

This insight is exciting for me at this stage of my so because I can’t get enough of new experiences, I have come to a place where I feel like there is a whole world to discover and I want to do as much as I can to experience it. I want to visit new places, meet new people, learn new facts, read different magazines, take up new hobbies and really live the best life I can live for both myself and my family. This is truly an exciting place to be at.

It makes sense to me that if you do what you love and you enjoy it, and you share it with others then success will naturally follow. I have read this and heard this many many times but for the first time I truly understand what it means and how it can affect the outcome of the rest of my life.

Maybe there is or maybe there isn’t, maybe I am feeling like there is because I have become a new Christian, totally unplanned and a complete surprise to myself and those who know me. Maybe I have not totally accepted that I am walking a new path now and I am still trying to hold on to who I used to be. I think I am still trying to figure out just how much you have to change to become a Christian. I can’t think of anything that has happened to me that I am upset about. Infact, since being a Christian, I have made more friends, learned a huge amount about history, Jesus, prophets, other religions, had more meaningful conversations and have watched how my life and my families life is being changed for the better in every way. I think I just need to release the fear and go with it. Why not? Life is pretty good now, I wonder how much better it will be if I just let go of the fear and embark fully on this new journey in my life.

 After all, it is actually very scary to change so drastically..or is..it? If I take it on a day by day basis, what do I do that is so drastically different, and who really cares? Those who are closest to me are going to benefit from me being a better person, and those who know the old me will probably first have some apprehensions but then they will either accept the new me or exit my life. That is what happens in life, people do sometimes drift out of our lives because we change. I of course do not want to lose any of my friends and family and I hope for acceptance. Really, (in true evangelical fashion!) I hope that people will tag along and join me. I can not see any disadvantages other than the fear people have of change and if you read the bible, you will also read that you are told to ‘Fear not’

 When I think back to the beginning of my sobriety, I really didn’t want to go anywhere near anyone who would preach the Bible at me. No A.A, no church, I was having none of it. Absolutely not. I even searched out different ways of staying sober so that I didn’t have to listen to God talk and all the rest of it. I don’t know why I was so against it, to be honest, now that I look back I think it was pure ignorance. I really and truly knew nothing about Christianity. All that I knew was what I had learned as a child and my knowledge of God had remained at that elementary level. I couldn’t believe it when I first started reading the Bible, the proverbs especially, how much sense they spoke. ( there is also a lot that does not make sense to the uneducated eye) but I was shocked that there was a plan for life out there and I had never even known it. I had fought on my own trying to get by, never knowing or realizing that help is within reach. Also, all these stereotypical ‘Yay God’ people out there, unfashionable plain people who even look boring always chewed at me (not that I think there is anything wrong with them). I just did not want to be one of them and I think they put me off.

Just a little ramble from me about Christianity and sobriety!

Before I stopped drinking, I had not given much thought to religion in a long time. I used to believe in God a long long time ago. Then I got into my teens and I got further and further away. When my Grandparents died, I was mad with God and pretty much put him out of my mind.

Looking back, the only times I really thought about God was when my life was out of control, which was quite often actually. I would be angry and shout at him and blame him for everything. I know for sure that I threw out a few “f” words at him too.

The last night that I drank alcohol, I was in a right mess. I was drunk, crying, angry, sad, confused. I remember sitting in the driveway crying after having a dumb argument with a good friend (who was also tipsy). I wasn’t crying because of the argument. I just could not cope with where I was at in my life. My drinking was continually out of control. I would turn angry after a few drinks, I was arguing all the time, my self confidence was on the floor. I felt truly awful. I sat in the driveway and I screamed up at the sky. ‘Why don’t you help me????!!!!’ I repeated this many times along with a bunch of other drivel before going to bed in a drunken stupor.

I woke up the next morning. That was the first day of my sobriety. It has been 2 years since then.

Something happened that night. Something in me changed. I can’t say it was my doing because it wasn’t. I had been drinking for 17 years; more than half of my life. I had tried numerous times to give up drinking, including a short stint with AA. I never had any success.

When I woke up on the first day of my sobriety, something was different about me. I knew that I could never drink again but I had absolutely no idea how I was going to be sober, live sober and, stay sober.

God heard me that night. I didn’t realize it at that time but I know it now.

I did not set out to find God. Infact, I didn’t want to be anything like any of the recovering alcoholics that I have read about. The reason I didn’t want to go to AA was because I didn’t want my life to revolve around my alcoholism and recovery. I wanted to be sober but I wanted to be normal. I certainly didn’t want to become like those recovering alcoholics who had found God. Oh No. I did not want that at all. I had an image to preserve (well a somewhat flakey one) but in my mind I had to still be kind of cool and with it and not some bible bashing do-gooder.

I am happy to tell you that it happened. I became everything I never wanted to be with one difference. I love it. I love the second part of my life. I love God. He is totally in my life and he has grown on me like I could never have imagined.

It has taken me months to write this post. There is still the part of me that can not believe this is me and every time I wanted to share my story of how I really got sober, I procrastinated. 

Religion is exciting. A relationship with God is amazing. Things are happening in my life, the answers to my prayers.

I have experienced what so many other believers already know and I can’t believe it has taken me this long.

I just want to say, that if you are sober and struggling then you might want to put your life in God’s hands and begin your own exploration of faith.

If you are interested, I recommend these three essential tools to get you started:

1) The New Living Translation Bible by Tyndale House

2) The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

3) Daily Devotional by Ike Reighard and Zig Ziglar

 Amen!

I have nearly completed two years of sobriety. To sum them both up; year 1 was hell, and year 2 has been the best year of my life since I was about 6 years old.

Not only am I sober but I am happier more days than I am not. I am a different person today. I am confident, happy, and I am earning the respect of those closest to me.

I am fit and healthy, I am positive, I am pro-active and I know this is cliché but I am on a journey that feels really good.

I have become comfortable with who I am today. I have accepted that I have an alcoholic past. I have done intense work on myself using personal development, introspection, counseling, journaling, exercising, reading and prayer.

Although I am in a good place within myself right now, it doesn’t mean that my life is without problems. I have many challenges in my life right now that are extremely difficult and unfortunate. The good news is that I no longer need to escape in order to cope. I do not cope anymore, I live.

At two years sober I am excited about the future. There is so much that I want to experience. I have hopes and dreams and I am enjoying taking action in order to accomplish everything on my life list. I can’t remember feeling this enthusiastic about living; it is a great way to feel.

I find it unfortunate that sobriety has so much bad press. Nearly everything I read about sobriety is negative. The blogs, websites and forums are filled with people who write about their experience in sobriety sounding so depressed. They write about how tough each day is how life is a struggle. They go on and on only finding the tiniest things in life to be happy about but complaining relentlessly about everything else. The negativity is intense. I am not saying that these people are without reason; I am just saying that sobriety is not and does not have to be depressing forever.

I tried AA many years ago and although I recognize how significant it has been for many alcoholics, personally I found it very depressing and my sobriety back then lasted a little more than 6 weeks.

This time around, I did all sorts of research into staying sober, including reading some of The Big Book. I also looked into Holistic recovery approaches, Women for Sobriety, and the Seven Weeks to Sobriety method. I have kept an open mind about recovery and what works.

So, here I am, nearly two years sober for the first time in seventeen years. I have a second chance at life and I am enjoying sobriety more days than I am not.

Almost without realizing it, my second year of sobriety has been about finding faith and using prayer. I have developed a faith and confidence in God which I have never known before. This didn’t happen over night nor was it something I set out to do but it has proved to be the most successful method of sustaining sobriety that I have come across.

I have spent time studying the Bible and I thoroughly recommend it to anyone regardless of whether you believe in God or not. It is such a practical book that teaches you how to live, cope, handle others, and live a worthy life. This book is amazing and it is turning my life around.

Maybe if I give you an idea of how I use prayer and faith in my own life, you will understand how and why it is changing my life.

I felt a little uneasy when I woke up today. I couldn’t really put my finger on the reason why but this was a familiar feeling from old.

Later in the day, I thought back to this morning and the uneasy feeling I had. It had disappeared almost as soon as I realized I had it. I thought back to my drinking days, just under two years ago. I would wake up with the uneasy feeling every day. I would spend all day trying to get rid of it, usually by having a few drinks to keep it at bay. I didn’t have prayer, faith and God back then. I just had me. I would feel scared, alone, anxious and panic ridden most of the time. The only time I would feel good was once I had a few drinks in me. Only then, would I feel ok and be able to handle whatever was on the agenda for the day.  I could never quite explain how I felt to friends or family. I had created an alter ego that everyone knew. It was seldom that I would come clean and tell everyone how I really felt. Now and again when life got too tough (which was often), I would have a mini melt down and tell some of how I felt to my closest friends. Usually this confession would soon be forgotten, it would be replaced with the feel good conversation a few drinks brings on. Then I would be back to my alter ego, who everyone was used to.

The difference today, and every day in my life now is that I never feel alone for very long. No matter how uneasy I feel, or what difficulty arises in my life, I don’t feel as unglued as I used to. I don’t feel alone or terrified or desperate for a drink to make me feel better. That part of my life has changed dramatically. Praying and having faith in God is the reason I am able to enjoy and live sobriety as well as I do.

I can’t tell anyone how to live but I can tell you what I have done to get me two sober years of living after half a lifetime of alcoholism. I hope this helps. I have to recommend the Bible though, it is truly an amazing lifeline.

Everyday, believe that:

• You are wise
• You are intelligent
• You are sensible
• You are disciplined
• You are honest
• You are truthful
• You are noble
• You are good
• You are prudent
• You are reliable
• You are virtuous
• You are eloquent
• You are kind
• You are calm
• You are peaceful
• You are gentle
• You are cheerful
• You are happy
• You are godly

 Each day, say to yourself:

• I seek wisdom
• I seek knowledge
• I seek understanding
• I seek righteousness

 Then remind yourself of whom you really are by saying:

•  I am wise
• I am intelligent
• I am sensible
• I am disciplined
• I am honest
• I am truthful
• I am noble
• I am good
• I am prudent
• I am reliable
• I am virtuous
• I am eloquent
• I am kind
• I am calm
• I am peaceful
• I am gentle
• I am cheerful
• I am happy
• I am godly
• I have honor
• I work hard
• I seek discernment

Then, go off and enjoy your day!

“And you must love the lord your God, with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. The second is equally important; love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandments are greater than these” Jesus – Mark 12:29

 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult and only a few ever find it. Matthew 7:14 

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect” Romans 12:2

 “In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly”. Romans 12:6

 “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think that you know it all!” Romans 12:13

 “Wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

 “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19

“What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24

 “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Jesus – Mark 11:22

 “Thank God, for all he does”

 “If you need Wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you” James 1:2

 “If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them” Jesus – Matthew 18:19

 “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16

 “Are you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises” James – 5:13

 “You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it’ Jesus – Matthew 21:22

 “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive them” -Jesus – Matthew 21:22

“When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing. If you need Wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you” James 1:2

 “Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened” Matthew 7:7

 “You don’t have enough faith, I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, Move from here to there and it would move, nothing would be impossible’ Jesus – Matthew 17:20

 “According to your faith be it unto you” Matthew 18:19

“Faith power works wonders”

“Expect the best at all times. Never think of the worst. Drop it out of your  thought, relegate it. Let there be no thought in your mind that the worst will happen”

“Take the best into your mind and only that. Nurture it, concentrate on it, emphasize it, visualize it, prayerize it, surround it with faith. Make it your obsession.

 “Even if you may be down to the worst, the best is potentially within you. You only have to find it, release it, and rise up with it. This requires courage and character, to be sure, but the main requirement is faith. Cultivate faith and you will have the necessary courage and character.”

“He emptied his mind and he received peace as a gift from God”

“According to your faith be it unto you” Matthew 18:19

For all the women in out there who are rebuilding their life in sobriety or who are trying to overcome alcoholism; Proverbs 31 – A Wife of Noble Character might help you find your way.

I have edited the original proverb slightly but I think the message speaks clearly regardless. Wouldn’t it feel good to be this kind of woman?

Proverbs 31 – A Wife of Noble Character
Virtuous and Capable
She brings her husband good
Her husband can trust her
She gets up before dawn to prepare the breakfast for her household
And plans the days work
She is energetic and strong, a hard worker
She makes sure her dealings are profitable
Her lamp burns late into the night
She extends a helping hand to the poor and needy
She has no fear of winter because everyone in her household has warm clothes
She dresses in fine linens
She is clothed with strength and dignity
She laughs without fear of the future
When she speaks her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness
Her children stand and bless her
Her husband praises her

Source: The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Second Edition from Tyndale House Publishers, Inc

If you are sober or thinking about getting sober, here is another valuable tool for your sobriety kit; Klove radio station.

Listen to Christian Sobriety Music.

Listen to Klove radio station in the car, at work or at home. The songs are so inspiring. If somebody recommended this to me a few years ago, I would have laughed. But now, I can’t stop recommending it to others. The music is great, very trendy and catchy. Each song carries its own message about God, Jesus, life, and sobriety.

Give it a try and take a look at their website too. There is a special area for prayer requests, staff pastors will pray for you. You can pray for others too.

Who would have thought it? Nearly two years sober and listening to Christian music every day. I can’t explain what the music does to your mind once you start listening, other than to say it makes you feel really good.

If you are already a fan then good for you. If not, click here and give it a try. I know that you are going to be pleasantly surprised.

Throughout my sobriety I have read extensively; mainly books about sobriety, personal development, and success.

Now I am on a journey through the Bible. I will be sharing useful information that relates to sobriety in a series of posts called  “Sobriety Bible”.

These are wise words. They were written some time back in 960 B.C by Soloman, Agur and Lemuel, according to Jewish tradition.

The Bible that I am reading from is the “New Living Translation”.

Proverb 4. There is so much to glean from this Proverb. I love it. The title is ‘A Father’s Wise Advice’.

Proverbs 4:25 – Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you
Proverbs 4:26 – Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path
Proverbs 4:27 – Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil

This just speaks to me. It is so relevant in sobriety.  This is my interpretation;

Don’t look back, look forward, focus on today and what the future brings
Visualize the sober life ahead of you and follow the vision
Know what will sidetrack you and stay away from it. The “evil” is alcohol.

Another part of Proverb 4 that I like is:

Proverb 4:5 – Get Wisdom; develop good judgment.
Proverb 4:6 -Don’t turn your back on wisdom for she will protect you.
Love her, and she will guard you.
Proverb 4:7 -Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!
And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.

When I was an active alcoholic, I think I lacked good judgment and wisdom. I did not live life using my greatest potential, nor did I make wise decisions. My judgment was affected, so was my understanding about life in general.
Alcohol changed my perception about life;  it had stripped my ability to live a really powerful life. Can you relate?

What is Wisdom? The definitions according to the Encarta Dictionary are:

1. Good Sense – the ability to make sensible decisions and judgments based on personal knowledge and experience
2. Wise decision – good sense shown in a way of thinking judgment, or action
3. Accumulated learning – accumulated knowledge of a sphere of activity that has been gained through experience

When talking about wisdom, we are also talking about; understanding, perception insight, knowledge, astuteness, intelligence, acumen, good judgment.

What is Good Judgment? The definitions according to the Encarta Dictionary are:

1. Judgment – discernment or good sense – the ability to form sound opinions and make sensible decisions or reliable guesses
2. Act of making statement – in logic, the mental act of making or understanding a positive or negative proposition about something

Whether you believe in God or not, I think these words can add meaning to your life.

Welcome to Sobriety and the Bible, or my Sobriety Bible!

This is a new avenue for me. It surprises me in some ways but it excites me too.

I have been sober for 18 months; I did not join a specific alcohol recovery group, instead, I have researched Women for Sobriety, A.A, and creative methods of recovery. I seem to have taken something from everything that is available and I have created my own way, it may sound unusual but my way seems to be working.

About six months ago, I began to pray more, it was instinctive, I can’t quite explain why other than to say I became more concious about a Higher Power, prayer and thought.

I have found a strength within myself that I never knew before and my life has improved dramatically in many areas. When I look back and define what changes have made the biggest impact in my life, I would have to say that it has come from prayer, an interest in a Higher Power, and my interest in the Bible.

One evening, I had the idea to start Sobriety Bible; the idea was to share what I find in the Bible that relates to living a sober life after alcoholism.

I don’t know where this will lead or if what I have to say will be appreciated. Everyone has their own religious beliefs and people can be very set in their own ways. I am not a theologian or an expert in this field so what I say is nothing more than my own opinion. Regardless of that, I am going to do my exploring and sharing because that is the way I feel I am being pulled.

I don’t go to church and I was not raised by a heavily religious family, I did however have some strong influences in my life, family members who were believers and very much a part of the church.

When I was a teen, I changed from someone who used to say prayer’s every night, to a teenager who forgot about God. I pushed aside everything to do with God and I didn’t give him much thought for a very long time except to blame him for whatever was going wrong in my life.

I began drinking alcohol heavily in my teens and my problems surmounted from there. Heavy drinking, lack of thought about God didn’t lead me to living my best life.

So, here I am today, interested in living my best life and wanting to share my journey through the Bible. If you think this sounds interesting or if you have something to offer, please stick around and introduce yourself.