An example of what I am talking about is this; Around Christmas time, I was feeling overwhelmed with everything that I had going on my life; job, kids, college, financial struggle, moving house, preparing for Christmas with lack of cash and feeling stressed about it so after a few days of feeling like I had too much to deal with I decided to focus my attention on less tasks and mainly to listen for God, learn from the Bible, pray more and trust in the plan that God has already mapped out for my life. Well this worked well until the last week, now I have been feeling unsure about if my decision is right, or whether I should be working hard and studying even though I have no idea what I want to do or become. Also, I can’t stand writing that about myself, I want to have a clearly defined purpose for my life and I don’t have it, maybe that is what trusting in God is all about? Not knowing what I am going to be doing but trusting that God does know and getting on with what I have right in front of me at this moment. What is right in front of me? my kids, husband, a job, friends, family, health, Recovery Princess. I have plenty going on, so why do I feel this constant urge/desire/need to be doing something more?

I think that I need to be kinder to myself and not give myself such a hugely hard time. I am going to be 3 years sober later this year and as I write that and take in the enormity of how far I have come in this journey of sobriety, I realize that as a person I have grown immensely. I wish I could tell you that sobriety is easy but it most certainly is not. It is work, hard work, and I think that you need to be determined to want real change and a better life for yourself if you really have any chance of lasting sobriety.

I remember when I first got sober, I wanted to read everything I could get my hands on about how to get sober, I read one book called ‘Seven Weeks to Sobriety’ (recommended read!) and something in the first chapter got my attention and frightened the life out of me…it was dedicated to telling the reader about just how bad the odds were of someone really and truly staying sober forever after quitting alcohol. I was really upset by it, frustrated by it and scared by it. There was no two ways about it, I was an alcoholic for sure. Not a down and out kind but my inner life was in ruins and it was getting harder and harder to live any kind of normal life, I could not control myself in the way that I knew I should. I was quick to anger, I lacked patience, I had no trust in barely anybody, I was sad, depressed, lonely and pathetic. So when I read this book in about week 2 of my sobriety, I was pretty crushed and I thought that there was no hope for me. After all, I had been drinking for most of my life, alcohol fuelled living was ingrained in my being. I decided that I wouldn’t be one of those statistics in the book, I didn’t know how I would stay sober but I made a mental decision not to end up as one of those people talked about in the book. I think the fear that got hold of me the most was the one about mental health. Much research shows that one of the main reasons alcoholics are unable to stay sober is because they can’t handle the emotional and behavioral problems they are left with after years of abusing alcohol. The coping mechanism is gone when you stop drinking alcohol so what do you replace it with over the long term?  I didn’t know how I was going to manage those problems within myself but I don’t think I allowed myself to dwell on that issue for too long simply because I had no idea what the answer was.

So in hindsight, I realize that I should give myself a break right now, pat myself on the back, relax and recognize that it is ok to get frustrated and feel lost from time to time, I think even so called ‘normal’ (non alcoholic people)  feel that way too. There will be a way forward for me but I don’t need to know the exacts of what, when and how right here and now. I should do what I did back when I first got sober and take it one day at a time. Do my best for today and not think too far into the future. One day at a time sounds like AA, but actually I have not been to AA. No offense to AA but I just did not want to go to meetings. I am off to read some of Ephesians, it is amazing and I am going to pat myself on the back for taking some action and writing the first post in a long time on Recovery Princess.

I should end by saying that my life, both my inner and outer worlds are a million miles better than they were when I was drinking. I am a changed person and I love life, there is so much I want to do (so much that I can’t decide what EXACTLY it is that I want to do) and I know now that I have the real opportunity to do these things. I used to have hope, now I have faith and I frequently experience Joy. Not too shabby!

This is an eye opening, amazing book that I recommend you read.

Google the title, download it on your IPOD or Kindle, buy it from Amazon or Itunes, go to the bookstore or rent it from the library. Whatever you do, be sure to read it as soon as you can.

I urge you to read this book even if you are not a believer. The author Joyce Meyer shares her own personal struggles throughout the book and you will be able to relate to much of what she discusses.

I am not even done reading the book and I feel renewed. I have been struggling with life lately. There has been many stresses that I have not handled well and without realizing it, I have become passive about some things. This is not how I want to live my life in sobriety nor is it how we are intended to live. This book has opened my eyes to some realities and truth’s about negative thoughts, worries, anxieties and passive mindsets that plague us all. I am thankful for this book and therefore want to share it with you all. Maybe you have already read it, if so, maybe you can share with us what it has done for you.

Also, Joyce Meyer has a fantastic website where you can listen to her right now for free. Watch her many presentations or listen to her podcasts.

Click here to go to the Joyce Meyer website

Enjoy!

Click here to go the I Am Second website

Through continually trying to find the right way to live, to have peace, to be able to forgive myself, to be less selfish, to right so many wrongs and to want to live a simple but good life, my journey has led me to many resources of strength and direction. One of which is the Bible.

The principles in the Bible are practical and make a lot of sense to me. I think whether you are in faith or not, you will find them to be a great road map for your life.

I have a confession to make…..since becoming a Christian (or trying to become one) and having some really good times because of it; I very quickly became a hypocrite. I found myself being really judgemental of people; believing that they just didn’t get it, or needed more faith, or that they were fake Christians because of the way I thought they showed a mistrust in God. It has been a bumpy road for me recently and very unpleasant, I think I have been given a good dose of humility and for that I am thankful. My judging days are coming to a close and I intend to exercise acceptance of those I come into contact with regardless of my tendency to judge. Not easy but necessary!

I hope that I have not turned any of you readers off by my new focus on the Bible. I am just doing all that I can to learn and to share what works and doesn’t work for me. If you are a Christian then fantastic, and if you are not then I am praying for you!  

The commands from Romans 12;

• Give your bodies to God. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice
• Don’t copy the behaviors and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
• Don’t think you are better than you really are.
• Be honest in your evaluation of yourselves, measuring yourselves by the faith God has given us.
• If God has given you the ability to prophecy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you.
• If your gift is serving others, serve them well.
• If you are a teacher, teach well.
• If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging.
• If it is giving, give generously.
• If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously.
• And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly.
• Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them.
• Hate what is wrong.
• Hold tightly to what is good.
• Love each other with genuine affection,  and take delight in honoring each other.
• Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically.
• Rejoice in our confident hope
• Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
• When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them.
• Always be eager to practice hospitality.
• Bless those who persecute you. Don’t curse them; pray that God will bless them.
• Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.
• Live in harmony with each other.
• Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And, don’t think you know it all!
• Never pay back evil with more evil.
• Do things in such a way that everyone can see you are honorable.
• Do all that you can to live in peace with everyone.
• Never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger of God.
• If your enemies are hungry, feed them. If they are thirsty, give them something to drink.
• Dont’ let evil conquer you, but conquer evil by doing good.

  Enjoy!

This Psalm speaks to me particularly because of some issues that I am facing at this time in my life. Sometimes I pray or I cry out in pain because of what I am feeling and experiencing. In those very moment I am not feeling relief from what is going on in my life nor do I feel inner calm when I need it. What I do know though, is that even when I feel awful, I know I am not alone, I know I am being heard. Even if I do not get the relief that I want right, or the answer that I want right now, I know that it is not long in coming. The Lord never lets me down. It seems that we are just on different time zones!

When I first became a Christian, it seemed like my prayers were being answered daily. I couldn’t believe it. I wondered what was wrong with the whole world that they could be miserable and suffer at times. Surely they should just pray like I did and then they would experience what I was experiencing..prayers answered so obviously. I was blinded by my new found faith and definitely a little bold in my outlook. I have come to realise that God is not a magic genie that I can keep in my pocket. I won’t get what I want when I want it but he also will not ignore me either. He backs away a little and slowly but surely gives you more independance from him. Maybe to test us or maybe to make us stronger. I have read about this process through other people’s experiences but now I am going through it first hand.

I love that Psalm 9 explains to me that God will judge those on earth and will deal with them accordingly. Sometimes I want him to deal with those kinds of people in  my way and on my timeframe but that is where faith steps in and I learn that justice for those who oppress us on earth in our humanity may not get what we what them to get in our time. But, with faith you can be sure that their time will come and that God is the one who is in charge and not us.

Sorry if I am talking in riddles. Can you tell that there is someone in my life right now who I am feeling majorly oppressed by? Well there is and it is a difficult problem for me to wrap my head around. But, now that I have faith and sobreity to walk forward in this situation. I can be sure that whatever happens, the outcome will be far better than it ever could have been if I was still drinking and without God.

So.. on to Psalm 9

The commands:

• Praise the Lord with all your heart
• Tell of all the marvelous things the Lord has done in your life
• Be filled with joy because of the Lord
• Sing to the Lord with all your praises
• Tell the world about his unforgettable deeds
• Ask Him for mercy

The promises:

• Your enemies will retreat
• The Lord will judge in your favor with fairness
• He is your shelter when oppressed
• He is your refuge in times of trouble
• Trust in the Lord for he will not abandon those who search for him
• He does not ignore the cries of those who suffer
• The needy will not be ignored forever
• The hopes of the poor will not always be crushed

The Psalm:

I will praise you, Lord, with all my heart;
I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done.

I will be filled with joy because of you.
I will sing praises to your name, O Most High.

My enemies retreated;
they staggered and died when you appeared.
For you have judged in my favor;
from your throne you have judged with fairness.
You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked;
you have erased their names forever.
The enemy is finished, in endless ruins;
the cities you uprooted are now forgotten.

But the Lord reigns forever,
executing judgment from his throne.
He will judge the world with fairness.
The Lord is a shelter for the oppressed,
a refuge in times of trouble.
Those who know your name trust in you,
for you, O Lord, do not abandon those who search for you.

Sing praises to the Lord who reigns in Jerusalem.
Tell the world about his unforgettable deeds.
For he who avenges murder cares for the helpless.
He does not ignore the cries of those who suffer.

Lord, have mercy on me.
See how my enemies torment me.
Snatch me back from the jaws of death.
Save me so I can praise you publicly at Jerusalem’s gates,
so I can rejoice that you have rescued me.

The nations have fallen into the pit they dug for others.
Their own feet have been caught in the trap they set.

The Lord is known for his justice.
The wicked are trapped by their own deeds.

The wicked will go down to the grave.
This is the fate of all the nations who ignore God,
But the needy will not be ignored forever;
the hopes of the poor will not always be crushed.

Arise, O Lord!
Do not let mere mortals defy you!
Judge the nations!
Make them tremble in fear, O Lord.
Let the nations know they are merely human.

 oooohh…I swear I get excited when I read the Psalms. Not just read but study them and apply them. Faith gives me hope and with hope I feel good. When I feel good I don’t want to drink. When I don’t drink my life is better than ever, my relationships grow stronger, my life seems more purposeful and life is worth living anew each and every day!

Enjoy!

‘Father Fichter, professor of sociology at Loyola University of the South, New Orleans, is the author of The Catholic Cult of the Paraclete (Sheed & Ward, 1975) and a yet-to-be-published study of more than 400 alcoholic clergymen. This article appeared in the Christian Century, February 18, 1976, pp. 148-150. Copyright by The Christian Century Foundation; used by permission. Current articles and subscription information can be found at www.christiancentury.org. This material was prepared for Religion Online by Ted and Winnie Brock.’

The following excerpt is written by Joseph H. Fichter;

Something happens to the converted alcoholic or the converted charismatic that brings about change, sometimes a quick illumination, but often a rather gradual and increasingly insistent spiritual awakening. The spiritual conversion experienced by both of these groups is intended to carry the individual along in a “new” way of life, and it does for those who stay with it.

Text:

A spiritual conversion is an interior experience, a decision for Christ, a change of heart, a turning of the mind away from vice and toward virtue, a relinquishing of the past and an embrace of the future. Something “happens” to people who are converted, as it did to Saul on the road to Damascus, and often this “happening” is not a personal choice. What the Protestant Pentecostals have been saying for a long time is now occurring among Catholic charismatics; in the words of one of their national leaders: “I am involved because I believe that God has touched me and that I have responsibilities as a result of that touch and call.”

One has only to attend a large charismatic prayer meeting, or read the pages of New Covenant, to learn, of first-person testimony of conversion. Reports a priest: “I felt as if God took off the top of my head and poured his peace into me and that simultaneously all the junk of my past life was draining out of my feet.” Comments a young woman: “For me the baptism of the Holy Spirit was a particular moment in my life; a moment when all time seemed to stand still and I truly felt the presence of the reality of Christ.”

To continue reading click here

David asks who are we in relation to the awesome creation of God. ‘ what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?’ Looking to the night sky and the work of God’s fingers and then acknowledging that although God created everything he has put man in charge of these things. God has put mankind above all of his creation ‘putting all things under their authority’ and that he has crowned us with glory and honor.

As I go through these Psalms and write my interpretation, I think ‘who am I to interpret the great book of the Bible?’. But it is fascinating to do this. I recommend that you try it yourself. Try and make sense of what the Bible is saying to you. What do you get from the Bible? What message is it conveying to you?

Psalm 8 to me is basically saying that God has made mankind supreme over all of his creations. We are special, he made this world for us. Praise him for it and make your journey here in his name.

Here is Psalm 8 from the New Living Translation Version;

O Lord, our Lord, your majestic name fills the earth!
Your glory is higher than the heavens.
You have taught children and infants
to tell of your strength,
silencing your enemies
and all who oppose you.
When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers-
the moon and the stars you set in place-
what are mere mortals that you should think about them,
human beings that you should care for them?
Yet you made them only a little lower than God
and crowned them with glory and honor.
You gave them charge of everything you made,
putting all things under their authority-
the flocks and the herds
and all the wild animals,
the birds in the sky, the fish in the sea,
and everything that swims the ocean currents.

WOW!

So why all the pain, heartache, difficulty in the world? Those are the questions that plague me and often make me question Christianity.
Of course I don’t have the answers but it my short experience of Christianity through sober eyes. I see God working amidst the worst of situations. I see him bring people together during difficulties and I see him working for the good in all situations. Before Christianity and before my sobriety, I did not see any of these things. I was blinded by my own muddled up alcoholic brain. Even when life is difficult, the comfort of knowing that God is right beside me and in me through the Holy Spirit, I am always able to find strength, hope and purpose  of this. In the past, I had no hope, life was just an ongoing struggle with no purpose or point. Now, although life is not the breeze I thought it was going to be, I realize that God is taking me through some valleys that are necessary in order to become closer to him. I know that my outcome will be a good one and I have hope again. I know that the future is going to brighter and Psalm 8 reiterates that to me.

So…
Praise God
Know that he created you to become more than you can imagine
Trust in him for all of your needs in good times and in bad
Know that your creation is the purpose of this universe
If you look around the world and see things that you don’t like about it or yourself – start making a change, do something about it, take the first steps and let God lead you further. Take the leap of faith. Get sober, ask God for his help and don’t stop asking. ’Ask and you shall receive’, 

Enjoy your own study of the Psalms!

The first subject was about being embarrassed about your faith. The scripture from the Bible about this topic is from Mark 8:38 (KJV -King James Version)

 ’Whosover therefore shall be ashamed of me and of my words in this adulterous and sinful generation; of him also shall the Son of man be ashamed, when he cometh in the glory of his Father with the holy angels’

I have found this to be difficult to live up too. As a new Christian you will find that you suddenly have many new friends, great rewarding friendships that you may never have experienced before. Around these people you will speak freely of God, Jesus and your faith, but around others it will be more difficult. In my experience, many of those who are believers prefer to keep their religion to themselves. Or they give you strange looks if you start spouting too much God talk. They say things like ‘I have my own way of thinking about things’ or ‘I do believe in something, just not a God’ Or instead of saying God they will say ‘the Universe’ or ‘some kind of force’ or they will say that ‘religion is something to keep your mind straight’.

This kind of talk does annoy me somewhat because if you truly believe in God then you should not be ashamed to talk about your faith. I get what Jesus is saying in this paragraph from Mark because as mere sinful people we do become embarrassed about revealing too much of our faith  for fear of being teased or frowned upon. I have to say I am guilty of this myself but I am going to overcome it because I guess I would rather be judged by my God who is with me always and forever as opposed to those people who will come and go in my life.

In my short experience of being a Christian, God has worked wonders within me and in my life. For the first time in my life I have very few fears for the future and I am able to handle difficult situations better than I ever have in the past, I have some great friends and I have high hopes for the future. I talk to God on a regular basis and he leads me in the right direction or to the right answer every single time. When I feel down, confused, moody or irritable I can guarantee that I have drifted away from my faith and the commands that the Bible has given us to follow. It is work to have faith, it is a constant battle against your natural self but again I will say that the reward is high.

So…speak your mind about God and your faith. Don’t be ashamed. If you are an alcoholic and you want to stop drinking I would recommend that you ask God for help. Don’t forget to ask in Lord Jesus Christ’s name!  ‘Ask and ye shall receive, knock and the door will be opened and seek and ye shall find’! Amen.

One last note…When I first embarked on my sobriety journey, I did take an interest in religion nor did I pray. It took me a very long time to realize that I was not staying sober alone and that I had little hope of staying sober alone. What I remembered long after I had some months of sobriety was that the night before I quit drinking, I was in such a state of upset and drunkenness that I screamed out to God. I screamed out saying ‘help me! why don’t you help me? Please help me to stop drinking?’ I also shouted a whole lot of expletives at him too. The next day, without a shadow of a doubt, something within me had changed. My resolve to quit drinking was strong and although extremely difficult I remained sober. Something about me had changed but I couldn’t put my finger on what exactly it was. Well, I know exactly what ‘it’  was now and there is no looking back for me now!

I will have to get back to you about the second subject from the devotional, this post took longer than I planned!

I did not choose God. God chose me. God must have been beside me all the time but I had never looked for him, thought about him or invited him in. This is what is called grace some might say.

I have pondered over this many many times during my sobriety..why me? how did this happen? how have I, out of all these people managed to get so lucky as to have a relationship with God? I did not set out to get this, I did not sign up for this, I did not get brainwashed nor join a cult, I did not make it my mission in life, I did not get introduced to a church nor go looking for one. If anything, I shielded myself from religion. I did not want to go to AA partly because of religion.

But here I am. 2 plus years sober. I pray almost without ceasing sometimes, I love having a relationship with God. I experience the miracles of having faith on a near daily basis. My faith grows by the day. I feel the effect of God in every aspect of my life.

I think I must have had some good people around me saying prayers for me when I wasn’t paying attention. I think that I got lucky. I don’t know how it happened but it did happen. It is hard to explain, people laugh, some scoff, some are jealous, some just don’t get it. But I have something so valuable in my life now that I know I have changed forever for the better. I can not comprehend how I lived any other way.

I guess I just wanted to talk about this huge part of my life. If you are not religious then you may quickly click away after reading part of this post, if you do that is fine. That is exactly what I would have done back in the days of my drinking and of my early sobriety. It really makes no odds.

Strange but true. Faith is Amazing.

Since becoming a ‘reinstated’ (or maybe I should say ‘Born again Christian’ but that term kind of scares me and conjures up weird stereotypes) Christian and embarking on a relationship with God. (Which took me totally by surprise). I make an effort to do the things that a Christian is supposed to do, one of which is to read and study the Bible.

At this time in my life I am really enjoying learning from the Psalms. I have the New Living Translation edition of the Holy Bible.

I decided to go through the Psalms and and jot down the commands (using my interpretation) as well as the promises. My intention for doing this is so that I have a basic blueprint for my life. I want to know exactly what I should and shouldn’t do according to the Bible, and then I want to ensure that I am putting what I know into action, so that I am living the life God intended for us.

I am no theologian that much is obvious, I am just a regular SOBER person trying to live a better life using the sound principles in the Bible so please feel free to comment and add to anything I write here.

Psalms Book One 

 Psalm 1;  The commands;

• Do not follow the advice of those who are ungodly
• Do not hang out with sinners or those who make fun of others
• Read, study, memorize, meditate, and internalize the words of the Bible on a daily basis.

The promises in Psalm 1

• Each season you will bear fruit and will prosper in all that you do (If you follow the commands of course!)
• The Lord will watch over you 

Psalm 3;  The commands;

• Do not let anger control you. When angry, give yourself time to think it through overnight. Remain silent. Do not give in to the temptation of releasing your anger verbally. (I have a hard time with this one, but I keep trying!)
• Offer sacrifices to the Lord (what are modern day sacrifices? possibly good deeds?), and TRUST the Lord. (I love learning to ‘Trust’ in God. I often do this by praying about something and then leaving it in his hands and not letting myself think about the situation any further. Then, without fail, God intervenes with an answer of some sort, or he will change the heart of someone. This is what I find amazing about faith. These answers to prayer are truly tangible and extremely personal and help to cement my faith).
• Go to sleep in peace and know that God will keep you safe. (Everynight without fail I pray when I get into bed. I don’t recall having any trouble sleeping since I began doing praying at night even when I am experiencing difficult times. Thinking back, when I was newly sober, I had awful sleeping experiences..I wish I knew then what I know now).

The promises in Psalm 3;

• The Lord will answer when you call on him

Psalm 4;  The commands;

• Bring your requests through prayer to the Lord each morning. Do this with a hopeful and expectant attitude
• Do not be proud
• Do not lie
• Do not murder or deceive
• Ask for direction, ask for God’s guidance to be clear so that you may easily know how to follow and choose the right path
• Worship at church
• Praise God
• Be thankful to God

The promises in Psalm 5;

• He will protect you
• He will surround you with his love
• You will be filled with joy

To write the commands and promises from each Psalm is not as simple as it first seemed.  Some of the Psalms are more difficult to extract a simple command or promise. In many of these first Psalms, David is obviously in distress because of his enemies. By the use of his prayer requests we are able to see what kind of acts or traits that God approved or disapproved of.

In Psalm 7 for example;

‘If I have done wrong or am guilty of injustice’ we can make out that we are not to cause injustice or do wrong in the eyes of God.

‘If I have betrayed a friend or plundered my enemy without cause’ we can determine that we are not to betray our friends or take from those who we see as our enemies. (the word ‘Plunder’ according to Answers.com means ‘to rob of goods by force, especially in time of war).

‘For you look deep within the heart and mind’

Whenever I read this passage from the Bible, (it is mentioned many times throughout). I always think that it is a great time for reflection. I ask myself ‘What is deep within my heart? What is deep within my mind?’ These are probing questions to ask yourself. When I was drinking, my mind was too fuzzled to even begin to comprehend these questions. I think that back then, all I really wanted was to be able to quit drinking and feel good inside. My answers have changed now that I  no longer use alcohol.

What is within my heart now? A fragile love, a weary love, an unsure love, a hopeful love, an enormous love. Many kinds of love that I am continuing to explore. I think if God is examining my heart he will see these things.

What is within my mind? The mind of course is the most complex and difficult to explain but I will give it a go; a hunger for knowledge, understanding, achievement and meaningful relationships.

I know if God searches my mind he will see these things. I don’t however believe that these are all that he will want to find. From what I have learned from the Bible; we are supposed to cry out for ‘insight, understanding, and knowledge’ and humility is huge   have much to work on. What about you?

Check your Bible and see how your interpretation of these Psalms may differ to mine. In what way do they differ? Leave your comments.

If you are looking to purchase a Bible, I have put an assortment of my recommended reading books into an Amazon application in the ‘Sobriety Books’ and the left side bar section of this blog. I have found that Amazon is usually the best priced place to buy inexpensive books aside from garage sales, thrift stores and library book sale events.

For such a long time I have thought that to make money or to desire wealth is to be somewhat greedy and not sincere of what life is truly about. This has been even more so since becoming a Christian again. Every time I think about success or making money or wanting to live the good life, I am then countered  with this feeling of guilt. It has somewhat plagued me. In fact, thinking about money, I have always had a very flippant attitude, I was always determined that money was something that should be given freely, that you shouldn’t be stingy, that money shouldn’t rule you. Well, I still believe that somewhat but thankfully I have a better understanding of money now.

This morning I was driving to work and I had an insight, I just love those moments, when your thoughts come together and you make sense of something that has been puzzling you for ages. I realize now that God has given us all special abilities, gifts and interests and he wants us to use them for the good of others. We are supposed to serve using all of these gifts from God. I had this vision of being a Christian that I could not reconcile with money. My vision was that I kind of needed to give up everything, tear off my clothes, give away all of my possessions, abandon my beauty routine and highlights and literally stalk the earth preaching from the bible and asking everyone to come with me and follow me. I never could quite get my mind around it all. Part of that may come from some of my old trait of being ‘all or nothing’.

So my insight has enlightened me, now I can see clearly that we do all have special gifts, abilities and interests whether we see them in ourselves or not, they are there. Our duty is to recognize them and start using them to serve in any capacity that we can identify. As Rick Warren says in his book, The Purpose Driven Life’ you need to experiment with serving in order to find out what you are good at and what you enjoy. If you don’t how would you know. If you always do what you have always done how do you know if you are good at anything else.

This insight is exciting for me at this stage of my so because I can’t get enough of new experiences, I have come to a place where I feel like there is a whole world to discover and I want to do as much as I can to experience it. I want to visit new places, meet new people, learn new facts, read different magazines, take up new hobbies and really live the best life I can live for both myself and my family. This is truly an exciting place to be at.

It makes sense to me that if you do what you love and you enjoy it, and you share it with others then success will naturally follow. I have read this and heard this many many times but for the first time I truly understand what it means and how it can affect the outcome of the rest of my life.

Maybe there is or maybe there isn’t, maybe I am feeling like there is because I have become a new Christian, totally unplanned and a complete surprise to myself and those who know me. Maybe I have not totally accepted that I am walking a new path now and I am still trying to hold on to who I used to be. I think I am still trying to figure out just how much you have to change to become a Christian. I can’t think of anything that has happened to me that I am upset about. Infact, since being a Christian, I have made more friends, learned a huge amount about history, Jesus, prophets, other religions, had more meaningful conversations and have watched how my life and my families life is being changed for the better in every way. I think I just need to release the fear and go with it. Why not? Life is pretty good now, I wonder how much better it will be if I just let go of the fear and embark fully on this new journey in my life.

 After all, it is actually very scary to change so drastically..or is..it? If I take it on a day by day basis, what do I do that is so drastically different, and who really cares? Those who are closest to me are going to benefit from me being a better person, and those who know the old me will probably first have some apprehensions but then they will either accept the new me or exit my life. That is what happens in life, people do sometimes drift out of our lives because we change. I of course do not want to lose any of my friends and family and I hope for acceptance. Really, (in true evangelical fashion!) I hope that people will tag along and join me. I can not see any disadvantages other than the fear people have of change and if you read the bible, you will also read that you are told to ‘Fear not’

 When I think back to the beginning of my sobriety, I really didn’t want to go anywhere near anyone who would preach the Bible at me. No A.A, no church, I was having none of it. Absolutely not. I even searched out different ways of staying sober so that I didn’t have to listen to God talk and all the rest of it. I don’t know why I was so against it, to be honest, now that I look back I think it was pure ignorance. I really and truly knew nothing about Christianity. All that I knew was what I had learned as a child and my knowledge of God had remained at that elementary level. I couldn’t believe it when I first started reading the Bible, the proverbs especially, how much sense they spoke. ( there is also a lot that does not make sense to the uneducated eye) but I was shocked that there was a plan for life out there and I had never even known it. I had fought on my own trying to get by, never knowing or realizing that help is within reach. Also, all these stereotypical ‘Yay God’ people out there, unfashionable plain people who even look boring always chewed at me (not that I think there is anything wrong with them). I just did not want to be one of them and I think they put me off.

Just a little ramble from me about Christianity and sobriety!

Before I stopped drinking, I had not given much thought to religion in a long time. I used to believe in God a long long time ago. Then I got into my teens and I got further and further away. When my Grandparents died, I was mad with God and pretty much put him out of my mind.

Looking back, the only times I really thought about God was when my life was out of control, which was quite often actually. I would be angry and shout at him and blame him for everything. I know for sure that I threw out a few “f” words at him too.

The last night that I drank alcohol, I was in a right mess. I was drunk, crying, angry, sad, confused. I remember sitting in the driveway crying after having a dumb argument with a good friend (who was also tipsy). I wasn’t crying because of the argument. I just could not cope with where I was at in my life. My drinking was continually out of control. I would turn angry after a few drinks, I was arguing all the time, my self confidence was on the floor. I felt truly awful. I sat in the driveway and I screamed up at the sky. ‘Why don’t you help me????!!!!’ I repeated this many times along with a bunch of other drivel before going to bed in a drunken stupor.

I woke up the next morning. That was the first day of my sobriety. It has been 2 years since then.

Something happened that night. Something in me changed. I can’t say it was my doing because it wasn’t. I had been drinking for 17 years; more than half of my life. I had tried numerous times to give up drinking, including a short stint with AA. I never had any success.

When I woke up on the first day of my sobriety, something was different about me. I knew that I could never drink again but I had absolutely no idea how I was going to be sober, live sober and, stay sober.

God heard me that night. I didn’t realize it at that time but I know it now.

I did not set out to find God. Infact, I didn’t want to be anything like any of the recovering alcoholics that I have read about. The reason I didn’t want to go to AA was because I didn’t want my life to revolve around my alcoholism and recovery. I wanted to be sober but I wanted to be normal. I certainly didn’t want to become like those recovering alcoholics who had found God. Oh No. I did not want that at all. I had an image to preserve (well a somewhat flakey one) but in my mind I had to still be kind of cool and with it and not some bible bashing do-gooder.

I am happy to tell you that it happened. I became everything I never wanted to be with one difference. I love it. I love the second part of my life. I love God. He is totally in my life and he has grown on me like I could never have imagined.

It has taken me months to write this post. There is still the part of me that can not believe this is me and every time I wanted to share my story of how I really got sober, I procrastinated. 

Religion is exciting. A relationship with God is amazing. Things are happening in my life, the answers to my prayers.

I have experienced what so many other believers already know and I can’t believe it has taken me this long.

I just want to say, that if you are sober and struggling then you might want to put your life in God’s hands and begin your own exploration of faith.

If you are interested, I recommend these three essential tools to get you started:

1) The New Living Translation Bible by Tyndale House

2) The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

3) Daily Devotional by Ike Reighard and Zig Ziglar

 Amen!

I have nearly completed two years of sobriety. To sum them both up; year 1 was hell, and year 2 has been the best year of my life since I was about 6 years old.

Not only am I nearly 2 years sober but I am happier more days than I am not. I am a different person today. I am confident, happy, and I am earning the respect of those closest to me.

I am fit and healthy, I am positive, I am pro-active and I know this is cliché but I am on a journey that feels really good.

I have become comfortable with who I am today. I have accepted that I have an alcoholic past. I have done intense work on myself using personal development, introspection, counselling, journaling, exercising, reading and prayer.

Although I am in a good place within myself right now, it doesn’t mean that my life is without problems. I have many challenges in my life right now that are extremely difficult and unfortunate. The good news is that I no longer need to escape in order to cope. I do not cope anymore, I live.

At two years sober I am excited about the future. There is so much that I want to experience. I have hopes and dreams and I am enjoying taking action in order to accomplish everything on my life list. I can’t remember feeling this enthusiastic about living; it is a great way to feel.

I find it unfortunate that sobriety has so much bad press. Nearly everything I read about sobriety is negative. The blogs, websites and forums are filled with people who write about their experience in sobriety sounding so depressed. They write about how tough each day is how life is a struggle. They go on and on only finding the tiniest things in life to be happy about but complaining relentlessly about everything else. The negativity is intense. I am not saying that these people are without reason; I am just saying that sobriety is not and does not have to be depressing forever.

I tried AA many years ago and although I recognize how significant it has been for many alcoholics, personally I found it very depressing and my sobriety back then lasted a little more than 6 weeks.

This time around, I did all sorts of research into staying sober, including reading some of The Big Book. I also looked into Holistic recovery approaches, Women for Sobriety, and the Seven Weeks to Sobriety method. I have kept an open mind about recovery and what works.

So, here I am, nearly two years sober for the first time in seventeen years. I have a second chance at life and I am enjoying sobriety more days than I am not.

Almost without realizing it, my second year of sobriety has been about finding faith and using prayer. I have developed a faith and confidence in God which I have never known before. This didn’t happen over night nor was it something I set out to do but it has proved to be the most successful method of sustaining sobriety that I have come across.

I have spent time studying the Bible and I thoroughly recommend it to anyone regardless of whether you believe in God or not. It is such a practical book that teaches you how to live, cope, handle others, and live a worthy life. This book is amazing and it is turning my life around.

Maybe if I give you an idea of how I use prayer and faith in my own life, you will understand how and why it is changing my life.

I felt a little uneasy when I woke up today. I couldn’t really put my finger on the reason why but this was a familiar feeling from old.

Later in the day, I thought back to this morning and the uneasy feeling I had. It had disappeared almost as soon as I realized I had it. I thought back to my drinking days, just under two years ago. I would wake up with the uneasy feeling every day. I would spend all day trying to get rid of it, usually by having a few drinks to keep it at bay. I didn’t have prayer, faith and God back then. I just had me. I would feel scared, alone, anxious and panic ridden most of the time. The only time I would feel good was once I had a few drinks in me. Only then, would I feel ok and be able to handle whatever was on the agenda for the day.  I could never quite explain how I felt to friends or family. I had created an alter ego that everyone knew. It was seldom that I would come clean and tell everyone how I really felt. Now and again when life got too tough (which was often), I would have a mini melt down and tell some of how I felt to my closest friends. Usually this confession would soon be forgotten, it would be replaced with the feel good conversation a few drinks brings on. Then I would be back to my alter ego, who everyone was used to.

The difference today, and every day in my life now is that I never feel alone for very long. No matter how uneasy I feel, or what difficulty arises in my life, I don’t feel as unglued as I used to. I don’t feel alone or terrified or desperate for a drink to make me feel better. That part of my life has changed dramatically. Praying and having faith in God is the reason I am able to enjoy and live sobriety as well as I do.

I can’t tell anyone how to live but I can tell you what I have done to get me two sober years of living after half a lifetime of alcoholism. I hope this helps. I have to recommend the Bible though, it is truly an amazing lifeline.

Everyday, believe that:

• You are wise
• You are intelligent
• You are sensible
• You are disciplined
• You are honest
• You are truthful
• You are noble
• You are good
• You are prudent
• You are reliable
• You are virtuous
• You are eloquent
• You are kind
• You are calm
• You are peaceful
• You are gentle
• You are cheerful
• You are happy
• You are godly

 Each day, say to yourself:

• I seek wisdom
• I seek knowledge
• I seek understanding
• I seek righteousness

 Then remind yourself of whom you really are by saying:

•  I am wise
• I am intelligent
• I am sensible
• I am disciplined
• I am honest
• I am truthful
• I am noble
• I am good
• I am prudent
• I am reliable
• I am virtuous
• I am eloquent
• I am kind
• I am calm
• I am peaceful
• I am gentle
• I am cheerful
• I am happy
• I am godly
• I have honor
• I work hard
• I seek discernment

Then, go off and enjoy your day!

“And you must love the lord your God, with all your heart, all your soul, all your mind and all your strength. The second is equally important; love your neighbor as yourself. No other commandments are greater than these” Jesus – Mark 12:29

 But the gateway to life is very narrow and the road is difficult and only a few ever find it. Matthew 7:14 

“Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you which is good and pleasing and perfect” Romans 12:2

 “In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out with as much faith as God has given you. If your gift is serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, teach well. If your gift is to encourage others, be encouraging. If it is giving, give generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly”. Romans 12:6

 “Never be lazy, but work hard and serve the Lord enthusiastically. Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying. When God’s people are in need, be ready to help them. Be happy with those who are happy and weep with those who weep. Live in harmony with each other. Don’t be too proud to enjoy the company of ordinary people. And don’t think that you know it all!” Romans 12:13

 “Wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

 “You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.” James 1:19

I find that by simply doing what the Bible says, I am relieved of many of the anxieties that I suffered from during early sobriety.

Here are some verses of scripture from the Bible that back up what I am saying about prayer. These scriptures are telling you how to pray and what to pray about.  Simple prayers such as ‘Please give me understanding and courage to face whatever comes my way today’ asking God for what you want. asking for healing, asking for peace of mine, asking for an answer to the problems you are experiencing. This has changed my life for sure.

Reading the proverbs is a great place to start if you are not familiar with the Bible. Or even if you need a refresher!

Prayer 

“What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them. Mark 11:24

 “But when you are praying, first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so your Father in heaven will forgive your sins, too.” Jesus – Mark 11:22

 “Thank God, for all he does”

 “If you need Wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you” James 1:2

 “If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you. For where two or three gather together as my followers, I am there among them” Jesus – Matthew 18:19

 “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” James 5:16

 “Are you suffering hardships? You should pray. Are any of you happy? You should sing praises” James – 5:13

 “You can pray for anything, and if you have faith, you will receive it’ Jesus – Matthew 21:22

 “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive them” -Jesus – Matthew 21:22

“When troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete needing nothing. If you need Wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you” James 1:2

 “Keep on asking and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened” Matthew 7:7

 “You don’t have enough faith, I tell you the truth, if you had faith even as small as a mustard seed, you could say to this mountain, Move from here to there and it would move, nothing would be impossible’ Jesus – Matthew 17:20

 “According to your faith be it unto you” Matthew 18:19

“Faith power works wonders”

“Expect the best at all times. Never think of the worst. Drop it out of your  thought, relegate it. Let there be no thought in your mind that the worst will happen”

“Take the best into your mind and only that. Nurture it, concentrate on it, emphasize it, visualize it, prayerize it, surround it with faith. Make it your obsession.

 ”Even if you may be down to the worst, the best is potentially within you. You only have to find it, release it, and rise up with it. This requires courage and character, to be sure, but the main requirement is faith. Cultivate faith and you will have the necessary courage and character.”

“He emptied his mind and he received peace as a gift from God”

“According to your faith be it unto you” Matthew 18:19

For all the women in out there who are rebuilding their life in sobriety or who are trying to overcome alcoholism; Proverbs 31 – A Wife of Noble Character might help you find your way.

I have edited the original proverb slightly but I think the message speaks clearly regardless. Wouldn’t it feel good to be this kind of woman?

Proverbs 31 – A Wife of Noble Character
Virtuous and Capable
She brings her husband good
Her husband can trust her
She gets up before dawn to prepare the breakfast for her household
And plans the days work
She is energetic and strong, a hard worker
She makes sure her dealings are profitable
Her lamp burns late into the night
She extends a helping hand to the poor and needy
She has no fear of winter because everyone in her household has warm clothes
She dresses in fine linens
She is clothed with strength and dignity
She laughs without fear of the future
When she speaks her words are wise and she gives instructions with kindness
She carefully watches everything in her household and suffers nothing from laziness
Her children stand and bless her
Her husband praises her

Source: The Holy Bible, New Living Translation, Second Edition from Tyndale House Publishers, Inc

If you are sober or thinking about getting sober, here is another valuable tool for your sobriety kit; Klove radio station.

Listen to Christian Sobriety Music.

Listen to Klove radio station in the car, at work or at home. The songs are so inspiring. If somebody recommended this to me a few years ago, I would have laughed. But now, I can’t stop recommending it to others. The music is great, very trendy and catchy. Each song carries its own message about God, Jesus, life, and sobriety.

Give it a try and take a look at their website too. There is a special area for prayer requests, staff pastors will pray for you. You can pray for others too.

Who would have thought it? Nearly two years sober and listening to Christian music every day. I can’t explain what the music does to your mind once you start listening, other than to say it makes you feel really good.

If you are already a fan then good for you. If not, click here and give it a try. I know that you are going to be pleasantly surprised.

Throughout my sobriety I have read extensively; mainly books about sobriety, personal development, and success.

Now I am on a journey through the Bible. I will be sharing useful information that relates to sobriety in a series of posts called  “Sobriety Bible”.

These are wise words. They were written some time back in 960 B.C by Soloman, Agur and Lemuel, according to Jewish tradition.

The Bible that I am reading from is the “New Living Translation”.

Proverb 4. There is so much to glean from this Proverb. I love it. The title is ‘A Father’s Wise Advice’.

Proverbs 4:25 – Look straight ahead, and fix your eyes on what lies before you
Proverbs 4:26 – Mark out a straight path for your feet; stay on the safe path
Proverbs 4:27 – Don’t get sidetracked; keep your feet from following evil

This just speaks to me. It is so relevant in sobriety.  This is my interpretation;

Don’t look back, look forward, focus on today and what the future brings
Visualize the sober life ahead of you and follow the vision
Know what will sidetrack you and stay away from it. The “evil” is alcohol.

Another part of Proverb 4 that I like is:

Proverb 4:5 – Get Wisdom; develop good judgment.
Proverb 4:6 -Don’t turn your back on wisdom for she will protect you.
Love her, and she will guard you.
Proverb 4:7 -Getting wisdom is the wisest thing you can do!
And whatever else you do, develop good judgment.

When I was an active alcoholic, I think I lacked good judgment and wisdom. I did not live life using my greatest potential, nor did I make wise decisions. My judgment was affected, so was my understanding about life in general.
Alcohol changed my perception about life;  it had stripped my ability to live a really powerful life. Can you relate?

What is Wisdom? The definitions according to the Encarta Dictionary are:

1. Good Sense – the ability to make sensible decisions and judgments based on personal knowledge and experience
2. Wise decision – good sense shown in a way of thinking judgment, or action
3. Accumulated learning – accumulated knowledge of a sphere of activity that has been gained through experience

When talking about wisdom, we are also talking about; understanding, perception insight, knowledge, astuteness, intelligence, acumen, good judgment.

What is Good Judgment? The definitions according to the Encarta Dictionary are:

1. Judgment – discernment or good sense – the ability to form sound opinions and make sensible decisions or reliable guesses
2. Act of making statement – in logic, the mental act of making or understanding a positive or negative proposition about something

Whether you believe in God or not, I think these words can add meaning to your life.

Welcome to Sobriety and the Bible, or my Sobriety Bible!

This is a new avenue for me. It surprises me in some ways but it excites me too.

I have been sober for 18 months; I did not join a specific alcohol recovery group, instead, I have researched Women for Sobriety, A.A, and creative methods of recovery. I seem to have taken something from everything that is available and I have created my own way, it may sound unusual but my way seems to be working.

About six months ago, I began to pray more, it was instinctive, I can’t quite explain why other than to say I became more concious about a Higher Power, prayer and thought.

I have found a strength within myself that I never knew before and my life has improved dramatically in many areas. When I look back and define what changes have made the biggest impact in my life, I would have to say that it has come from prayer, an interest in a Higher Power, and my interest in the Bible.

One evening, I had the idea to start Sobriety Bible; the idea was to share what I find in the Bible that relates to living a sober life after alcoholism.

I don’t know where this will lead or if what I have to say will be appreciated. Everyone has their own religious beliefs and people can be very set in their own ways. I am not a theologian or an expert in this field so what I say is nothing more than my own opinion. Regardless of that, I am going to do my exploring and sharing because that is the way I feel I am being pulled.

I don’t go to church and I was not raised by a heavily religious family, I did however have some strong influences in my life, family members who were believers and very much a part of the church.

When I was a teen, I changed from someone who used to say prayer’s every night, to a teenager who forgot about God. I pushed aside everything to do with God and I didn’t give him much thought for a very long time except to blame him for whatever was going wrong in my life.

I began drinking alcohol heavily in my teens and my problems surmounted from there. Heavy drinking, lack of thought about God didn’t lead me to living my best life.

So, here I am today, interested in living my best life and wanting to share my journey through the Bible. If you think this sounds interesting or if you have something to offer, please stick around and introduce yourself.