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I did not choose God. God chose me. God must have been beside me all the time but I had never looked for him, thought about him or invited him in. This is what is called grace some might say.

I have pondered over this many many times during my sobriety..why me? how did this happen? how have I, out of all these people managed to get so lucky as to have a relationship with God? I did not set out to get this, I did not sign up for this, I did not get brainwashed nor join a cult, I did not make it my mission in life, I did not get introduced to a church nor go looking for one. If anything, I shielded myself from religion. I did not want to go to AA partly because of religion.

But here I am. 2 plus years sober. I pray almost without ceasing sometimes, I love having a relationship with God. I experience the miracles of having faith on a near daily basis. My faith grows by the day. I feel the effect of God in every aspect of my life.

I think I must have had some good people around me saying prayers for me when I wasn’t paying attention. I think that I got lucky. I don’t know how it happened but it did happen. It is hard to explain, people laugh, some scoff, some are jealous, some just don’t get it. But I have something so valuable in my life now that I know I have changed forever for the better. I can not comprehend how I lived any other way.

I guess I just wanted to talk about this huge part of my life. If you are not religious then you may quickly click away after reading part of this post, if you do that is fine. That is exactly what I would have done back in the days of my drinking and of my early sobriety. It really makes no odds.

Strange but true. Faith is Amazing.

I suppose in some ways life was simpler for me back then because my number one priority from the start of the day through to the end was to stay sober. It was a time of complete devotion to staying sober and learning about my new self. At 2 plus years of sobriety, life has changed pretty dramatically and trying to stay away from alcohol is not my priority anymore. I am not saying that I have become complacent, it is just that I no longer wake up thinking about alcohol. My new way of sober living has become more than a habit, it has become a lifestyle.

I am free from alcohol addiction. I am enjoying being sober and I love learning about recovery from alcoholism!

Here is the post from the first 90 days of sobriety…

I am approaching 90 days in sobriety and so far, it has been quite a journey. When I first decided to quit drinking my mind was full of doubts, insecurities, fear of failure and wonder about whether I would be able to cope and live a normal life without alcohol. It had become very clear to me that I could not go on living the way that I had, the effect of alcohol in my life was becoming unbearable. I was miserable, depressed and had very little enthusiasm for anything.

Nearly 90 days later, writing this feels so normal that it shocks me. I can’t believe that it has taken me this long in my life to realize the effect alcohol has on a persons mind and lifestyle. There are still times when I feel like having a drink or I get upset about the fact that I can never drink again, or I feel envious that someone else can handle their drink but I can’t. But on the whole, I couldn’t be happier than I am today and the thanks go to me for getting sober. It has changed my life for the better and I know that the future will continue to improve as long as I stay this way. When I first started to write this list I thought that I would be hard pressed to find 100 things that I have learned during this time. Now I am just worried because this post is the longest one I have ever written!  I am shocked that I am writing this post yet it feels like the most natural thing in the world for me and I am thankful that I am in this position. I won’t say that my whole life has changed since giving up drinking but there are some noticeable differences in my life and in the person I am today, these changes are certainly for the better and for the first time in a long time I feel like I am on the right path in life and every is getting better day by day.

Here is just some of what I have learned in the first 90 days of sobriety….

1.   Life is not unbearable without alcohol

2.   Life is fun without alcohol 

3.   Finding out how to live again is sometimes hard but overall a pretty amazing journey – Each day of sobriety, you learn something new about the person you really are.

4.   Your real friends will still be your friends when you stop drinking

5.   Your personality will change quite dramatically and you will become more like your true self again

6.   You start to remember who you were a long time ago before the alcohol gave you another personality.

7.   You start to really feel your emotions again.

8.   Your imagination becomes very active an 8 year olds after a certain period of time

9.   There are some tough facts about who you were and what you did when drinking that you need to embrace and learn from in order to move forward

10.   There will be tears, regret, hurt, fear, shame, embarrassment but none of these will matter that much when you start to have some of the really good days after a period of sobriety.

11.   You will feel good about yourself

12.   You will meet new people

13.   You will learn new things and your lifestyle will change

14.   The path ahead will look inviting when you work towards getting the life that you want

15.   The cravings do go away but they also come back at times with less intensity

16.   You will save a lot of money

17.   Time becomes more precious

18.   People become more important

19.   Your will become more sensitive to the needs of others and you will move away from a selfish frame of mind

20.   Life can become very normal again and you might find yourself wondering if you really had a problem with alcohol in the past. You did and you must not ever let yourself forget it.

21.   You must constantly re-evaluate your progress

22.   Goals help to provide the pathway to a new life

23.   Books are a great way to escape and to occupy all the time you now have on your hands

24.   Exercise is essential to your frame of mind

25.   You will miss the relationship that you had with alcohol

26.   The future holds endless possibilities

27.   There is no turning back now, to have just one drink will absolutely mean the end to your chance at living a meaningful life.

28.   You spend a lot of time in reflection

29.   You stop counting your length of sobriety in days and start counting in weeks, and then if you are really lucky, you just stop counting…

30.   That it is okay to say ‘No’, especially when it comes to invitations to parties and events that you may not be ready for just yet.

31.   You rediscover your independence. One of the things that gets overlooked when you are an active alcoholic is that you rely on others more. You need them to drive you, you need them to be your drinking buddy when you don’t want to drink alone, you need them to help you because you are too busy trying to find the time to drink, this list could go on and on. When you stop drinking, you become more independent by the day simply because you learn to do things by yourself again.

32.   Your family and close friends can start to relax and focus on their own lives again. What alcoholics do not realize, or when they do they ignore it. Is that whilst you are actively pursuing your addiction you are causing an enormous amount of strain to those who are closest to you. If those that are closest to you are also active alcoholics then by embracing a life of sobriety you may help them to realize they need help too.

33.   The events that you go to actually turn out to be much better than when you think they will now that alcohol is not on the menu.

34.   Writing is an effective way of expressing how you really feel. There will be many times in recovery when what you are feeling is not easy to communicate to others, this can be very frustrating and writing is a good way to help you overcome this.

35.   You start planning for the future instead of just living in the now.

36.   Quotes and affirmations help keep you on track and help lift your mood

37.   That hangovers were such a waste of time. I liken them to being sick now. I hate the thought of getting sick because it impairs my ability to do things to my full capacity. I used to have a hangover at least 3 times a week and looking back now I see just how much time I wasted getting over them.

38.   There will be times when you tend to forget the misery that alcohol caused you and remember the good times only. This is a classic case of the tendency to need or want to hold onto an idea as opposed to face the reality.

39.   The odds of staying sober are against you. Even in AA, the chances of staying sober without relapsing are extremely low. It is important to be aware of this and hopefully it will help you with determination to beat the odds. Most people hate to fail so this could work in their favor or it could act as an excuse for those who are not really serious about sobriety.

40.   You may be in denial about being an alcoholic.

41.   Just one drink now and again is not okay.

42.   Having a Zero Tolerance towards alcohol and yourself is a must.

43.   You need to work on having a positive attitude every day

44.   Staying sober is your main priority but creating a new lifestyle is equally important

45.   You need to know what tempts you to drink, undertand the reasons why you drink this will be what stops you from picking up the first drink.

46.   Get organized. Clean, organize cupboards, get rid of old junk, clear out what you don’t need. Mess is chaos to the mind. It helps you to feel more in control when your house or room is in some kind of order.

47.   Take care of yourself. Get your hair styled, buy a new outfit, spend time at a spa, do as much as you can to pamper yourself to help you feel good about yourself.

48.   Remember that the first time doing something without alcohol is the hardest but it does get easier from then on.

49.   In the beginning, each day there will be something new for you to cope with without using alcohol. Prepare yourself by knowing this and staying aware of your reactions to different situations.

50.   Have a good excuse for leaving an event. There may be times when you just need to get out of somewhere because it is too much to deal with without drinking in early sobriety. Think up a good excuse that you can use for if you need to leave. This will help you to feel more in control and less likely to cause anxiety.

51.   Research different methods of sobriety, AA, holistic, treatment centers etc. Take what works from each that you learn about and use it to suit your lifestyle.

52.   That having a gratitude list helps

53.   You may need medical help or therapy to stay sober

54.   Remind yourself constantly that you may not feel as great as you want to every day but every day that you stay sober you are making steady progress towards the life you want to live.

55.   Praying helps even if you are not a devout believer

56.   You may cry a lot

57.   You will wonder if you will ever have as much fun sober as you did drunk for a very long time, as long as it takes to experience some real fun.

58.   That many people you know have an alcohol problem but most of the time everyone ignores it unless they do really dramatic things when drunk.

59.   Keeping a journal is a great way to chart your progress. It could serve as the foundation for a book that you might have decided to write.

60.   Some days you may feel so awful, it reminds you of why you used to drink. You will overcome these days and feel stronger for doing so without using alcohol.

61.   You can really start to see that by eliminating alcohol, so do you get rid of many of your other problems.

62.   It is possible to quit drinking without going to AA.  – Many years ago when I attempted to give up drinking, I went to AA because I didn’t know where else to turn. I realized back then that if I wanted to stop drinking for good I was going to have to find another way because AA just was not for me. What is for me is determination, a vision of a better life, the use of a journal, life list and a support system within the friends and family that I have.

63.   The ability to think clearly and argue less.

64.   That living life in a drunken haze is to not live in reality. Most people drink to escape reality and they often do, but they also create a new reality that is far more harmful to themselves than if they were to face up to real life. Drinking creates far more problems in ones life than living sober.

65.   There is far less drama in a sober life.

66.   You learn to regain self respect and confidence.

67.   No amount of drinking will change the way you feel about yourself, nor will it make you happier, nor will it make you more fun, good looking. The negative effects of alcohol will always out win the good for an alcoholic.

68.   I am more interested in how the mind works and the reasons why people use alcohol and become alcoholics.

69.   You can spot an alcoholic very easily

70.   You will never know how much better your life could be if you don’t take the first step and commit to sobriety

71.   There is a process in sobriety, without a doubt getting through the first day, week, and month is the hardest, then the process changes to dealing with all the memories, and reliving everything.

72.   That it is better to give up alcohol on your own accord than being ordered to by a doctor.

73.   You only have one life and you owe it to yourself to give yourself a chance to be truly happy.

74.   Sobriety may be unattainable unless you make some big changes in your life. If you are able to make minimal changes to your current lifestyle then that is great. But the chances are that if you are reading this then you need to make some important lifestyle changes otherwise quitting drinking will be unsuccessful.

75.   Reasons for drinking can depend a lot on your age and lifestyle, when you are younger you tend to drink more because of the social aspect, this is also another reason why it is so hard to quit because you may not be able to give up alcohol as comfortably as if you are married, settled etc.

76.   Socialization is one of the many reasons that people drink.

77.   Life is a journey

78.   It is important to have a support system around you, close friends, family or a group where you can openly discuss how you feel and what you are experiencing in sobriety.

79.   Bad days can really sap your energy but you can get past them without drinking.

80.   There will be days when you feel so good it is almost unbelievable. On these days, grab a pen and write down how good you feel as well as a list of everything that you are proud of yourself about. Tuck it away and get it out on next day that you don’t feel so good and could do with some tender loving care.

81.   It is a good idea to spend a little bit of time researching anything that you enjoy doing, just to see if you could take it further. If you like writing; experiment by setting a goal to write every day for a week or exercise, train for a mini marathon, or art, sign up for a class.

82.   In 90 days I have learned more about myself than in the last 10 years.

83.   I don’t feel like I am missing out on alcohol anymore, I feel lucky to be this aware of how badly it was affecting me.

84.   That usually, there are underlying problems associated with alcoholism, I don’t think you become an alcoholic just because you like the taste and love how it makes you feel.

85.   That you shouldn’t really need to alter your everyday mood.

86.   That if you have children, you owe it to them to stop drinking.

87.   Alcohol ruins lives

88.   I still fear many things but instead of covering them over by drinking, I am learning to deal with them and face them and thus move forward.

Whilst I was chugging all kinds of alcohol as frequently as I could, I believed that I was taking pretty good care of myself.  I couldn’t let anyone see how I was really feeling. I would dress well, ensure my make up was in place, buy new clothes and generally ensure that I looked as good as possible. (I wouldn’t leave home without putting a few ’Visine’ eye drops in to try and get rid of the ever tired, red, with a hint of yellow, permanently hung over eyes).

I had convinced myself that I really had it all together while I was drinking. It was only after I stopped drinking that I noticed just how much I was in desperate need of a good make over.

If you are still drinking, do you feel that way? Do you feel yucky inside? Are you constantly trying to make yourself look better because you feel like crap? I remember days of plying on make-up and nearly having a melt down because no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t make myself feel better by getting dressed or applying another layer of make-up.

Fashion shopping used to be a chore for me. I did not feel comfortable going shopping while sober so of course I would have to have a few drinks before, during and after. All of my shopping trips with girlfriends either started after a liquid lunch, or, in the afternoon following a few drinks.

When I first got sober, I dreaded shopping. But slowly and surely I began to enjoy my shopping trips even more. I paid more attention to the fashion trends. I began to develop my own style that is still evolving. This is very unlike my drinking day’s style which although I think looked pretty good, never really changed much.

Like everything else in my life, my hair, fashion and make-up sense was more about struggling to stay in control rather than being a free expression of myself.

When you get sober, you begin to get yourself back. Bit by bit. Fashion, make up and hair may not be your thing but it sure does feel good to get up and have clear eyes, a nice wardrobe, healthy hair and no hangover. I feel  clean, wholesome and stylish. Sure beats how I felt a few years ago.

Sobriety is not easy I will always say that, but the pro’s always outweigh the con’s in my experience.

Some websites that I enjoy browsing for fashion ideas;

I love this one to browse for fashion ideas and what is fashionable each season.

Piperlime

What is not to love about Vogue?

Vogue Online

Goodhousekeeping online  – I love this for finding out which products live up to the advertising

Goodhousekeeping

Sephora – For everything beautiful and delicious smelling. I love the good deals, the free samples and the entire range of products!

Sephora

Since becoming a ‘reinstated’ (or maybe I should say ‘Born again Christian’ but that term kind of scares me and conjures up weird stereotypes) Christian and embarking on a relationship with God. (Which took me totally by surprise). I make an effort to do the things that a Christian is supposed to do, one of which is to read and study the Bible.

At this time in my life I am really enjoying learning from the Psalms. I have the New Living Translation edition of the Holy Bible.

I decided to go through the Psalms and and jot down the commands (using my interpretation) as well as the promises. My intention for doing this is so that I have a basic blueprint for my life. I want to know exactly what I should and shouldn’t do according to the Bible, and then I want to ensure that I am putting what I know into action, so that I am living the life God intended for us.

I am no theologian that much is obvious, I am just a regular SOBER person trying to live a better life using the sound principles in the Bible so please feel free to comment and add to anything I write here.

Psalms Book One 

 Psalm 1;  The commands;

• Do not follow the advice of those who are ungodly
• Do not hang out with sinners or those who make fun of others
• Read, study, memorize, meditate, and internalize the words of the Bible on a daily basis.

The promises in Psalm 1

• Each season you will bear fruit and will prosper in all that you do (If you follow the commands of course!)
• The Lord will watch over you 

Psalm 3;  The commands;

• Do not let anger control you. When angry, give yourself time to think it through overnight. Remain silent. Do not give in to the temptation of releasing your anger verbally. (I have a hard time with this one, but I keep trying!)
• Offer sacrifices to the Lord (what are modern day sacrifices? possibly good deeds?), and TRUST the Lord. (I love learning to ‘Trust’ in God. I often do this by praying about something and then leaving it in his hands and not letting myself think about the situation any further. Then, without fail, God intervenes with an answer of some sort, or he will change the heart of someone. This is what I find amazing about faith. These answers to prayer are truly tangible and extremely personal and help to cement my faith).
• Go to sleep in peace and know that God will keep you safe. (Everynight without fail I pray when I get into bed. I don’t recall having any trouble sleeping since I began doing praying at night even when I am experiencing difficult times. Thinking back, when I was newly sober, I had awful sleeping experiences..I wish I knew then what I know now).

The promises in Psalm 3;

• The Lord will answer when you call on him

Psalm 4;  The commands;

• Bring your requests through prayer to the Lord each morning. Do this with a hopeful and expectant attitude
• Do not be proud
• Do not lie
• Do not murder or deceive
• Ask for direction, ask for God’s guidance to be clear so that you may easily know how to follow and choose the right path
• Worship at church
• Praise God
• Be thankful to God

The promises in Psalm 5;

• He will protect you
• He will surround you with his love
• You will be filled with joy

To write the commands and promises from each Psalm is not as simple as it first seemed.  Some of the Psalms are more difficult to extract a simple command or promise. In many of these first Psalms, David is obviously in distress because of his enemies. By the use of his prayer requests we are able to see what kind of acts or traits that God approved or disapproved of.

In Psalm 7 for example;

‘If I have done wrong or am guilty of injustice’ we can make out that we are not to cause injustice or do wrong in the eyes of God.

‘If I have betrayed a friend or plundered my enemy without cause’ we can determine that we are not to betray our friends or take from those who we see as our enemies. (the word ‘Plunder’ according to Answers.com means ‘to rob of goods by force, especially in time of war).

‘For you look deep within the heart and mind’

Whenever I read this passage from the Bible, (it is mentioned many times throughout). I always think that it is a great time for reflection. I ask myself ‘What is deep within my heart? What is deep within my mind?’ These are probing questions to ask yourself. When I was drinking, my mind was too fuzzled to even begin to comprehend these questions. I think that back then, all I really wanted was to be able to quit drinking and feel good inside. My answers have changed now that I  no longer use alcohol.

What is within my heart now? A fragile love, a weary love, an unsure love, a hopeful love, an enormous love. Many kinds of love that I am continuing to explore. I think if God is examining my heart he will see these things.

What is within my mind? The mind of course is the most complex and difficult to explain but I will give it a go; a hunger for knowledge, understanding, achievement and meaningful relationships.

I know if God searches my mind he will see these things. I don’t however believe that these are all that he will want to find. From what I have learned from the Bible; we are supposed to cry out for ‘insight, understanding, and knowledge’ and humility is huge   have much to work on. What about you?

Check your Bible and see how your interpretation of these Psalms may differ to mine. In what way do they differ? Leave your comments.

If you are looking to purchase a Bible, I have put an assortment of my recommended reading books into an Amazon application in the ‘Sobriety Books’ and the left side bar section of this blog. I have found that Amazon is usually the best priced place to buy inexpensive books aside from garage sales, thrift stores and library book sale events.

When I first embarked on my sobriety journey, reading kept me sane. These are the books that have helped to shape me along the way.

I also have a box of books that are unread. I will continue to recommend any that I think are beneficial.

I hope you enjoy them!

Here are just a few of many encouraging quotes by NVP that you can use to inspire you in your sobriety journey.  I find that simply by reading a few good quotes, my perspective can change rapidly. There is an element of hope that a good quote can nurture within.

Enjoy! Feel free to add any that you come across…

“The magic of believing is a manifestation of one of the greatest powers in the universe: the power of thought. By our thoughts we either create or destroy. You can tear your life down by destructive thinking, but you can build your life up by thinking constructively.”

“Change your thoughts and you change your world”.

“Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence. Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear. Perhaps the action you take will be successful; perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow. But any action is better than no action at all”.

“Four things for success: work and pray, think and believe”. 

“The more you lose yourself in something bigger than yourself, the more energy you will have”. 

“The trouble with most of us is that we would rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism”. 

“Trouble is here. It is for a purpose. Use it for the purpose for which it was intended – to help you grow. Thank God for your troubles.”

“We tend to get what we expect”. 

“When you pray for anyone you tend to modify your personal attitude toward him.” 

“Those who are fired with an enthusiastic idea and who allow it to take hold and dominate their thoughts find that new worlds open for them. As long as enthusiasm holds out, so will new opportunities”. – This is what I have right now!

“Begin where you are. Begin now.”

“All successful people have a goal. No one can get anywhere unless he knows where he wants to go and what he wants to be or do”.

“Be self-confident, have faith, and persevere.”

“You can’t have a sound mind unless you have a clean mind.”

“The Bible is filled with the most powerful ideas in this world.”

“The tests of life are not meant to break you, but to make you.”

“The Bible – the wisest document ever known in human existence, which defies the ravages of time and change because it contains the truth that cannot be changed or invalidated.”

“Acquiring dynamic faith is accomplished by prayer, lots of prayer, by reading and mentally absorbing the Bible and by practicing its faith techniques”

Next up……Eleanor Roosevelt’s quotes are amazing!

For such a long time I have thought that to make money or to desire wealth is to be somewhat greedy and not sincere of what life is truly about. This has been even more so since becoming a Christian again. Every time I think about success or making money or wanting to live the good life, I am then countered  with this feeling of guilt. It has somewhat plagued me. In fact, thinking about money, I have always had a very flippant attitude, I was always determined that money was something that should be given freely, that you shouldn’t be stingy, that money shouldn’t rule you. Well, I still believe that somewhat but thankfully I have a better understanding of money now.

This morning I was driving to work and I had an insight, I just love those moments, when your thoughts come together and you make sense of something that has been puzzling you for ages. I realize now that God has given us all special abilities, gifts and interests and he wants us to use them for the good of others. We are supposed to serve using all of these gifts from God. I had this vision of being a Christian that I could not reconcile with money. My vision was that I kind of needed to give up everything, tear off my clothes, give away all of my possessions, abandon my beauty routine and highlights and literally stalk the earth preaching from the bible and asking everyone to come with me and follow me. I never could quite get my mind around it all. Part of that may come from some of my old trait of being ‘all or nothing’.

So my insight has enlightened me, now I can see clearly that we do all have special gifts, abilities and interests whether we see them in ourselves or not, they are there. Our duty is to recognize them and start using them to serve in any capacity that we can identify. As Rick Warren says in his book, The Purpose Driven Life’ you need to experiment with serving in order to find out what you are good at and what you enjoy. If you don’t how would you know. If you always do what you have always done how do you know if you are good at anything else.

This insight is exciting for me at this stage of my so because I can’t get enough of new experiences, I have come to a place where I feel like there is a whole world to discover and I want to do as much as I can to experience it. I want to visit new places, meet new people, learn new facts, read different magazines, take up new hobbies and really live the best life I can live for both myself and my family. This is truly an exciting place to be at.

It makes sense to me that if you do what you love and you enjoy it, and you share it with others then success will naturally follow. I have read this and heard this many many times but for the first time I truly understand what it means and how it can affect the outcome of the rest of my life.

1.  Buy a desk calendar with a daily activity to get you thinking about something that interests you; crosswords, poems, trivia, sports etc
2. Sign up for a daily devotional email to reaffirm your faith and to start the day off on the right foot
3. Get an IPOD or MP3 player and start listening to a series of podcast’s that interest you. They are all free and cover every topic imaginable, you can listen while you are in the car anytime, at the gym, while exercising at home, when walking the dog etc
4. Exercise – Of course I am going to say exercise…this is powerful, it  works. There is a magical quality about physically exerting yourself, it literally de-stresses and clears the mind. You need to be exercising at least 3-5 times a work in order to realize the benefits. I would also recommend that you get outdoors. Walking or running in nature is the best!
5. Come clean – Tell someone, either a friend or call or help hotline about the problems you are having. Don’t try and solve all of your problems alone. For the very best result, you should tell the big man upstairs all of your problems and then ask for help…see what happens!

“If you don’t like who you are and where you are, don’t worry about it because you’re not stuck either with who you are or where you are. You can grow.”

Zig Ziglar

Before I stopped drinking, I had not given much thought to religion in a long time. I used to believe in God a long long time ago. Then I got into my teens and I got further and further away. When my Grandparents died, I was mad with God and pretty much put him out of my mind.

Looking back, the only times I really thought about God was when my life was out of control, which was quite often actually. I would be angry and shout at him and blame him for everything. I know for sure that I threw out a few “f” words at him too.

The last night that I drank alcohol, I was in a right mess. I was drunk, crying, angry, sad, confused. I remember sitting in the driveway crying after having a dumb argument with a good friend (who was also tipsy). I wasn’t crying because of the argument. I just could not cope with where I was at in my life. My drinking was continually out of control. I would turn angry after a few drinks, I was arguing all the time, my self confidence was on the floor. I felt truly awful. I sat in the driveway and I screamed up at the sky. ‘Why don’t you help me????!!!!’ I repeated this many times along with a bunch of other drivel before going to bed in a drunken stupor.

I woke up the next morning. That was the first day of my sobriety. It has been 2 years since then.

Something happened that night. Something in me changed. I can’t say it was my doing because it wasn’t. I had been drinking for 17 years; more than half of my life. I had tried numerous times to give up drinking, including a short stint with AA. I never had any success.

When I woke up on the first day of my sobriety, something was different about me. I knew that I could never drink again but I had absolutely no idea how I was going to be sober, live sober and, stay sober.

God heard me that night. I didn’t realize it at that time but I know it now.

I did not set out to find God. Infact, I didn’t want to be anything like any of the recovering alcoholics that I have read about. The reason I didn’t want to go to AA was because I didn’t want my life to revolve around my alcoholism and recovery. I wanted to be sober but I wanted to be normal. I certainly didn’t want to become like those recovering alcoholics who had found God. Oh No. I did not want that at all. I had an image to preserve (well a somewhat flakey one) but in my mind I had to still be kind of cool and with it and not some bible bashing do-gooder.

I am happy to tell you that it happened. I became everything I never wanted to be with one difference. I love it. I love the second part of my life. I love God. He is totally in my life and he has grown on me like I could never have imagined.

It has taken me months to write this post. There is still the part of me that can not believe this is me and every time I wanted to share my story of how I really got sober, I procrastinated. 

Religion is exciting. A relationship with God is amazing. Things are happening in my life, the answers to my prayers.

I have experienced what so many other believers already know and I can’t believe it has taken me this long.

I just want to say, that if you are sober and struggling then you might want to put your life in God’s hands and begin your own exploration of faith.

If you are interested, I recommend these three essential tools to get you started:

1) The New Living Translation Bible by Tyndale House

2) The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren

3) Daily Devotional by Ike Reighard and Zig Ziglar

 Amen!

In the past, I mixed with people who were drinkers. That is pretty much how it went. To be honest, I didn’t really have much in common with those who didn’t drink. Why would I? I thought they were boring. I couldn’t imagine living a life with alcohol.  Now that I don’t drink, I don’t gravitate to drinkers anymore. Why? Because they don’t interest me anymore. Even though I don’t feel like drinking anymore, I don’t think it would be a good idea to be surrounded by alcohol/alcoholics on a regular basis.

I frequently enjoy sobriety but I acknowledge the huge transformation one has to undergo in order to stay successfully sober. Sobriety is not as simple as just giving up alcohol. Your internal mechanism must change too. It can be really hard. I do truly feel like I am living a double life sometimes. There is the outside me, what I show people of myself, my reactions, what I talk about, how I act and then there is the inner me. The inner me is always trying to adapt, to catch up, to learn, to change, to conquer, to keep going. Most days I can handle it but some days it just feels like too much.

When the days catch up with me and I feel like I can’t do this anymore, I ask myself why I am doing this. Why am I staying sober? Why do I keep going? What is the point of all of this? Am I really happier now that I am sober?

Depending just how bad I feel, I may think sobriety is just not worth it and life is totally crap without the edge taken off it. But even then, I don’t reach for the bottle.

What keeps me going is the hope that life will get better. I look back and see that even though I don’t always feel like it, I have made really good progress. I am a changed person in so many ways. I experience long spells of time when I don’t just feel good, I feel great. I am growing slowly but surely and inside I feel strongly that to drink again would finish me off for good. I don’t think I could handle a relapse. I have never had one since I quit drinking and it scares the life out of me to think it could happen.

Life does get better in sobriety. In the early days, my mood was changeable by the hour, at least now I have a good few months at a time. I know that the longer I carry on, the longer the good times will last. That is why I keep going in sobriety.

I read over this post and I see my thoughts darting all over the place, that is how sobriety is in the early days. You are all over the place!

I can remember specific times when I laughed out loud about something, I surprised myself, I would feel like ‘wow, that was really funny and I haven’t even had a drink’.

Alcohol had numbed my senses to the point that I rarely laughed when sober.  Today, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I love to laugh, I laugh often about all kinds of things and with many different people. Fortunately, the longer I stayed sober, the more I laughed.

Alcohol had robbed me of the natural ability to laugh and see the humor in every day life.

Thank God for my sobriety.

I am going to pass on a quick tip that will lift your mood. If you feel depressed, tired, useless, hopeless or maybe you don’t feel that bad but you could do with some more positivity to help you think about possibilities instead of hardship, then you will find this helpful.

Before I give it to you I want to tell you why I think this helps.

As you know if you are a regular reader, I have been sober for nearly 16 months for the first time in seventeen years. Throughout these 16 months, I have gone through just about every possible feeling/thought/emotion and mood known to man. I have battled with social anxiety, panic attacks, depression, negative thinking, withdrawal from others, low self esteem and more. All of these were reasons why I drank for so long, but the alcohol exacerbated these issues for me and magnified the worst for me. Now that I am sober and I have a fairly long period of sobriety, I am able to clearly identify what I am feeling and also what triggers it for me. Thankfully, I have the kind of nature that leads me to wanting to find a better way of dealing with things. I record what I go through in a journal, I analyze the negatives and I try and find a way to combat anything that I am uncomfortable with.

Time and time again in the last 16 months, the most common problem I experience is negative thinking that leads to depression and general unhappiness, lately I have been experimenting with changing my mood when I am feeling down or anxious or negative.

Here is one sure fire way to lift your mood and begin thinking about possibilities………

Zig Ziglar

I have known about Zig Ziglar for a few years now, I recently signed up for his newsletter and read it regularly but only recently I have started paying more attention to him. I can not believe that I have not read one of his books yet. He is truly one of the most straight talking, motivating, uplifting, sensible, humorous and genuine being I have ever encountered in the world of personal development. If you already know about this man then good for you! Read and listen to anything he has ever written and said again! If you do not know about him, do yourself a favor and learn everything you can.  This doesn’t have to cost you a lot of money either.

Here are a few ways that you can listen to Zig Ziglar right now;

Go to www.Youtube.comand type in Zig Ziglar, you can watch and listen to some mini sessions of him talking and being interviewed right now for free. Listen to them all, what have you got to loose?

If you have an Iphone or Ipod or MP3 player, go to www.audible.comand download an audiobook of his. They range from $2.95 to about $15.95. They are worth every penny! If anyone knows a less expensive way then please share.

If you have a kindle or prefer reading on your pc, go to www.barnesandnoble.comand download an ebook of Zig Ziglars.

Go to www.amazon.com and buy a used book for a fraction of the price in the bookstore or go to your local library and get a book for free!

Whatever you do, listen to Zig Ziglar right now on YouTube.

Take action and do something right now. It has worked for me, it truly has.

One tip for you, once you have read or listened to something of Zig Ziglar’s, read it again, and again. Read or listen to it when you feel good and when you feel bad. Take note of what he says and take action.

Sign up for the newsletter here;

My positive commitment to living the best life ever…..

I am not depressed, I do not have stinkin thinking, I am making something of my life, I overcome hard times, I find solutions to every challenge presented to me, I learn from every experience be it good or bad, I do not allow others to bring me down, I take responsibility for my life and I find ways to help others every day.

What do you want to overcome today?

If you need inspiration for sobriety, or want to create a new life for yourself, or need some lifting up then listen to this audio interview with Tony Robbins by Brendon Burchard. I am always on the lookout for inspiration, motivation, enthusiasm for life, personal development and success. This interview gave me an enormous lift when I needed it most. I have this readily available to me my file of  Daily Inspiration. I keep a folder in my outlook which is full of emails that I receive from the people that inspire me and bring me in touch with what life is really all about. If you haven’t done this yet, it is a very proactive way of getting yourself out of any depressive funks that you may go through. I listen and read them as often as I can, I need to do better at doing that when I really don’t feel like it because they can turn your thinking around in minutes.  All of my emails from Simple Truths, My Super Charged Life, The Happiness Project, Spiritual River, Zig Ziglar’s newsletter, Spiritual Zen, Brendon Burchard, Seeds of Success, Millionaire Mommy Next Door, William Cope Moyers Column on Creators, Vivian Eisenecher’s Blog, Paul Campbell’s Column on The Irish Book Review and more.

Let me tell you, to make it in this world of sobriety you need an army of motivation to keep you going, it is not for the faint hearted I will say that. But if you want to make a difference in your life then you can do it with all of these useful tools to help. Of course, I will now be adding Tony Robbins to my army!

Let me know what you think of the interview and enjoy!

Be Sober!!!!! Get a new life!!!!

Vivian Eisenecher has written a brilliant book titled “Recovering Me, Discovering Joy”.

I have long been interested in Vivian Eisenecher’s story. When I first embarked upon my own sobriety journey, I scoured the Internet for sobriety success stories and I came across Vivian’s website many times.

I admire Vivian’s quest to help others using her own experience with alcoholism as a platform. And, as a fellow social anxiety sufferer, I was keen to learn about Vivian’s battle with social anxiety disorder (SAD).

After reading “Recovering Me, Discovering Joy” I realized that Vivian’s book is not just a story about alcoholism, social anxiety and depression. There is a much wider, universal appeal to this book. It is a true self help and personal development book that most people would glean something from.

Vivian uses personal stories, quotes and solid facts to share her journey with the reader. This is a cleverly written book that gives you hope, inspiration and a identifiable companion in each page.

“Recovering Me, Discovering Joy” just proves that there are unlimited possibilities when you embrace sobriety and tackle your problems full on. Vivian clearly leads the way using her faith and wisdom and has definitely earned her title as Recovery Queen.

Get sober, go on, do it. It is hard as hell but you know what, you get yourself back. You get your self respect back, you don’t have to feel apologetic and guilty all the time, you don’t have to look at other people and think how together they are and how superior they are because inside you feel so awful about your drinking. Reality is that once you get sober, you can be your own person, make your own decisions, spend your time with people that you truly admire and respect not those that you just have a good time with. You also realize that those people that you thought were so worthy of respect are actually just human. It is a bit of a comedown to realize that every one is just like you, just a person trying to live their life the best way they can, dealing with their own problems.

A hard part of sobriety for me is the reality that no one is perfect, everyone is human and everyone makes mistakes.

For a long time I had such low self esteem that I held so many others in a much higher regard than myself. The reality check you get once you have some solid sober time under your belt is pretty tough to accept. Obviously no one is perfect. The good news is that I was not as bad as I thought! That is rather nice to know.

I think I have always looked for perfection, as unrealistic as it is. Over the years, I  thought I had found some perfect people, it was a shock for me to realize once I got sober that actually they were no where near perfection, I had been holding them in such high regard, and why? Because I was so low in self esteem and had a brain that had been pickled by alcohol for so long.

I guess my point is that you should get sober, take a good look around you and realize that this world is a better place for having you in it. It doesn’t make you less of a person because you are an addict, it doesn’t matter if you have stooped lower than low, if you don’t like the things you have done and the journey to date, then now you have the chance to change it, as well as the people in your life. People come and go in our journey through life and I am a believer that there is something to learn from all of them even if you don’t particularly like them very much.  Don’t feel insecure about other people because none of them are any better than you even if they think they are. They have just chosen a different path.

Be your own person, make your own choices, create a life that you like and feel good about. Connect with those who stimulate you and whose company you enjoy, if there is no one around you like that then go and find them. For goodness sake, get away from people who sap your energy or just generally do not make you feel good about yourself 100% of the time.

I am honored to have interviewed Patrick Meninga of The Spiritual River Website about his sobriety journey. Lap it up people!

· How long have you been sober?

My clean date is on January first, 2001. So I have over 8 and half years of continuous sobriety now.

· How many times had you attempted sobriety before finally nailing it?

I had tried to get sober twice before. Once I went to a local rehab and my intention was to quit drinking but to keep using other drugs (man, was I naive at the time!). Of course that did not work. Then other time I went to Hazelden in Minnesota after a family intervention. I was actually in there during Christmas and when it turned Y2K. I was still pretty mixed up at that point and things did not turn out well then either. I stayed for 28 days though and it was a real opportunity for me. But it was not to be. I stayed out using for another year and then I finally got sober at the start of 2001.

· Did your friends and family try to convince you of giving up alcohol before you made the decision?

Absolutely. Even my friends that I drank and did drugs with tried to encourage me to quit. They wanted better things for me, even my drinking buddies did. I was my own worst enemy.

· Why do you think some people reach the point of complete surrender and manage to give up alcohol and others do not?

Gosh that is a tough question. I work in a treatment center, and you cannot believe how many people keep coming back after having relapsed, over and over again. It is really sad in some cases.

On the one hand, I would like to take credit and say that I am sober today because I am somehow better than those who relapse. But I understand now that this is not reality, and that I am simply blessed. I was chosen to be sober I think, because when I was still drinking, I wanted to ride a wave of drugs and alcohol ride into my early grave. That plan was just fine by me. Something….intervened. I do not know if that is the truth but it is the best explanation I have for what turned me around. That or the love of my family finally broke through to me. But I had that all along and it was never enough to make me stop self medicating, so that does not seem right either.

Nope, it was higher powered for sure.

· What do you think are the 3 most important things a newly sober person can consider to ensure that they maintain sobriety?

Well I have a personally philosophy of recovery that has some ideas in it, such as:

1) Pursue holistic and personal growth

2) Caring for self (build self esteem through action and goal setting).

3) Networking with others in recovery

But quite honestly I am still refining that philosophy as I see what works in my life and the lives of those around me.

I used to think that overwhelming force was a key component of success in recovery, because long term treatment is what finally worked for me (I lived in treatment for 20 months when I got sober). But it fails for so many people, and the success rate of long term treatment is similar to that of short term residential treatment. So my ideas change and evolve over time based on the trends that I am seeing, but also based on what has worked for me.

Addiction and recovery is so far from being “solved” that it is a really messy industry right now. Trying to help people is hard. Putting up decent success rates is even harder. No one is an expert at helping alcoholics (not if you look at their success rates they achieve!).

So I guess, to answer the question, my 3 most important things for someone are:

1) Make a decision to stop drinking at a really deep level (true surrender. Not doing it for others. No will left to chase pleasure or happiness in the bottle. No enthusiasm left in drinking).

2) Get excited about the potential of a life lived sober (find passion and purpose in recovery. Meaning. A way to connect or help others is probably vital.).

3) The first 2 things are enough. The first is giving up the drinking, and the second thing is embracing a positive life. This is all that is necessary. The rest is details (unfortunately there are a lot of them!).

· As you see it, what are the most common reasons for people failing at sobriety?

Well if you look at my answer above about what is really critical for success in recovery, you can see what will lead to failure. People fail in recovery for 2 reasons:

1) Not really surrendering to their disease (they have reservations about drinking or using later on, or they are not really “finished” with their drinking).

2) They do not embrace recovery. They do not create an awesome new life for themselves. They get bored, or angered, or frustrated, or whatever. The success in recovery comes from building up a positive new life. It is an act of creation. Those who fail to create will slide back into their old ways and end up relapsing.

· Anti-depressants? Yes or No

Well I would say that this comes down to the individual and that they should consult with their doctor. I will never fault an addict or an alcoholic for taking non-narcotic, non-addictive medications. Most anti-depressants fit that bill. Now there are some anxiety medications and some other narcotic medications that I think constitute a relapse, but again, that really should be a decision between the patient and the doctor. I say, if you need anti-depressants to have a good life, you should take them. Just my opinion of course….

· Therapy? Yes or No

Therapy is a tool. It cannot work magic on someone who has not really surrendered. I went to counselors and therapists for a while when I had not intention of quitting drinking. This was worthless. If you are in recovery and pushing to create a new life for yourself, then therapy can be huge. It depends on the person of course. Some really do well with therapy, while others can excel in recovery using other tools.

· A.A? Yes or No

Just like therapy, AA is another tool. It is one solution. But it is not the only path to recovery. Certainly it has helped many people. But the majority who try AA fail. In fact, the data from AA census data shows that 90 percent of those who try AA will leave within a year and never return. This is evidenced by the now famous “Comments on A.A.’s Triennial Surveys,” figure C-1, which represents a ton of data that spans 12 years.

So AA might very well help many people. But the AA census data shows that it is losing 90 percent of all newcomers, and that they do not return. Clearly, there is a need for alternatives. There is a need for more solutions….for other holistic approaches.

I do not claim to have all the answers, but any solution that is losing 90 percent right off the top could stand to have some fresh ideas in the field.

· In an ideal world, what does the future of alcohol recovery look like to you?

A huge question, I hope to write a book about this practically! But seriously, my vision of recovery is one of holistic health and personal growth.  It is less about the social and networking aspects of recovery that dominate the industry these days (mostly via 12 step groups) and more about personal empowerment, purposeful living, goal setting, etc. I don’t want to bash existing programs, but on the other hand, I see them doing so poorly for the vast majority of alcoholics. I think we can do better on at least a couple of different levels.

What would happen if you threw unlimited funding at the recovery industry? What kind of research would this lead to and what kind of solutions could we expect? My vision is that it goes far beyond the typical residential treatment program or even most long term recovery programs. I’m talking about a holistic approach that deals in every aspect of a person’s life. Perhaps the key will one day be some sort of unique screening, or a qualifier that will insure that those who enter recovery are more likely at the point of surrender that will get them decent results. Right now we see a thousand people come into treatment for alcoholism, and at least 950 have taken another drink within the first year. There has to be a better solution.

· How many people do you know that have quit drinking and stayed sober longer than 1 year?

(Laughs out loud for a second) That is a depressing question right there! I was in a unique position where I left residential treatment and went straight into a long term treatment center where I lived for 20 months. The place housed 12 guys and I was one of them. I probably saw about 30 different people come through there, even though it was supposed to be a 6 month to 2 year program (average stay was less than 6 months I figure).

Anyway, that was 8 years ago when I was living there, and out of those 30 or so guys, I count me and one other person who are still sober today. Heck, 4 of those guys are now dead. I went to 1 of their funerals. A lot those people continue to go in and out of rehab, in and out of long term, and so on.

I also know a handful of people in the fellowships (of AA and NA) that have multiple years clean, and they continue to frequent the meetings and they come to my treatment center where I work and bring meetings in to the residents there. So I see them and I see that it does work for some. But even some of those people have relapsed (the meeting chair people). So obviously no one is immune.

I went to lots of meetings my first year of sobriety and I could go back to the big AA club in town and find at least 20 people that I “know” who have a year sober or more. But I have been to about 5 meetings in the last 5 years, so that is not really my gig any more. I have found other avenues.

And, to be honest, most of my close friends in recovery have not done real well. Most have either died or relapsed, or both. One is still sober today (the one who stayed sober that I met in long term treatment 8 years ago).

· Do you think anyone could have done something to prevent you from going down the addiction path?

Nope. I was born an addict. I am positive of it.

I know this because I was hooked from the very first time I tried a drug. And I had been searching for addiction for a long time before I found it. I wish I had found it sooner; this may have saved me a lot of years of pain. Gotten it over with quicker.

The first time I took a drink or a drug in my life, I said out loud, literally “This is what I was meant to do. I will keep doing this until the day I die.” Of course, we all know how long the fun really lasted…..

· What do you see in your future?

Family, fun times, traveling. Starting projects in recovery. Starting a treatment center some day. Something high end, holistic, etc. Resort-like even.

But simply connecting with recovering addicts, in just about any way, is almost enough. I am pushing to do a bit more though….still finding the path. Still learning to create.

· Do you have any role models?

My family has always set a great example for me. But I look up to some big thinkers in marketing like Seth Godin and Tim Ferris who push people to try and do great things in the business world. Does this translate at all into recovery? Of course it does….on at least some level. Success, excellence, achievement…..these things can come to us in a number of different ways.

For example, I feel like my running has been significant in my recovery from addiction. Is running my whole program? Of course not. Would I recommend that a newcomer start jogging or running every day? No, that is missing the point as well. It’s not the running itself that benefits my recovery so much….it is the achievement, the push to do more, to go farther, to excel in something and build self esteem by doing so. That’s what makes a holistic approach so important….because it is both flexible and powerful. You can take a section of your life, and….enhance it. You can grow in focused ways. Deliberate ways.

Role models….could Tiger Woods teach a person how to be sober and live a life of recovery? Absolutely. If you can incorporate the same level of drive, the same positive energy in your life, what would stop you from creating the life you really want to achieve? If you can look up to your heroes and say “I want to achieve that kind of greatness,” then you have all the inspiration that you need.

Who inspires you to be the best person you can be? Who inspires you to create or do great things? This is how I define role models.

Those marketing gurus that I mentioned…..they are my inspiration for my recovery website, and for the work I do in creating more recovery connections. The goal is not to market meaningless drivel and make money for the sake of money, but to create something of meaning, live with purpose, and make a powerful connection with the world while doing so. If you read Godin or Ferris, you will see that they are both in line with these values. They are both creators, on almost every level.

· Do you regret your alcoholism?

No. Not at all. If I had not gone through it, I would probably have to go through it later. Better to have learned this difficult lesson already than to have to face it later on.

But even beyond that, alcoholism was a growth experience for me. It broke me down to a level where I could really abandon my “self” and slowly start to reconnect with a higher power in a new way. I discarded some old ideas that did not work for me and started exploring new beliefs, new mindsets, and a new spirituality. I actually read the New Testament since I got sober (something I had never done before). I also read quite a few books on Taoism and Zen Buddhism. I am not a bible thumper, but I have found a path that works for me. And, I would not be on this spiritual path without my alcoholism.

· Why do you think alcoholics should get sober knowing that the success rate is so low and the journey is so difficult?

The success rates in recovery really are poor, but anyone can have recovery if they really want it. I know that sounds cliche, but seriously, anyone has the capability to achieve the creative life in recovery if they really want it. We can all focus. Any alcoholic can focus. I know they can because I used to do so with raw determination, even when I was drunk. Heck, because I was drunk. The drive, the passion, the ability to focus is there. I think it is there for everyone. Any alcoholic can potentially achieve this high level of focus and use it to create a positive life without drinking. It can happen. I know it does not happen in most cases, but the potential exists there for people. For anyone.

The thing is, they have to really want it, and put in the leg work to get there. Lots of focus. Overwhelming force. Dedication. Whatever they do to stay sober, they have to do a lot of it. For a long time. And keep doing stuff to actively stay sober. It is a long, hard, challenging road. Lots of focus.

But anyone can do this stuff. Anyone can create a life of recovery. Because there are so many paths to take. So many passions that can fuel the creative life. You don’t have to be a website author and an avid runner. Heck, you can be all about meditation and archery for all I care. Or you can volunteer at the soup kitchen and rescue abandoned cats or something. It doesn’t matter.  It’s not the stuff you do, it’s the passion you do it with.  Find your passion and start living with purpose. Find a way to help people in a way that is meaningful to you and run with it. This is the creative life. This is the path to a recovery that works and grows.

· What are your favorite books?

Well of course you have the marketing gurus I talked about above, Seth Godin and Tim Ferris. They are both bestselling authors, but they also have blogs that I follow. I have read a lot of mainstream fiction too, and a lot of books about spirituality and so on. I like reading (and writing) in general.

But my favorite books are those that have great ideas in them. Things that can spark new creation, new action. I guess that is why I am drawn to fresh, award-winning bestsellers, written by the best marketers in the world.

· What do you do for fun?

Work directly with clients in a treatment center full time (sort of fun, sort of crazy!).

Play golf. (a growing passion. In nice weather on the right course, walking a nine is like a moving meditation almost….)

Spend time with family (playing with my niece and nephew is a blast!)

Run. (I used to hate running, like normal people.)

Create stuff. (Mostly stuff in the online world…especially connections with others in recovery and new ideas about recovery).

To see more ideas about non traditional recovery, visit The Spiritual River.

I just came across this. What an inspiration to all of us who are overcoming alcohol and drug addictions. The 20th anniversary of National Alcohol and Drug addiction month is coming up in September 2009 and you can join in by participating in the Recovery Rally.

See below for details:

On Saturday, September 12th join thousands in NYC to celebrate the 20th anniversary of National Alcohol and Drug Addiction Recovery Month. Together, we can raise national awareness that addiction is a treatable disease, and recovery is possible!

What is the Recovery Rally?

A FREE public event to celebrate people in recovery and pay tribute to those who support them.

The rally features a walk over the Brooklyn Bridge to reinforce the message that anyone can cross their own bridge to recovery.

The celebration begins in Foley Square with live entertainment, guest speakers and celebrity appearances!

Where does the event start?

Check-in at Foley Square in downtown Manhattan. Come early for pre-walk activities including a warm-up, musical performance and special guest speakers

When should I arrive?

Please plan on arriving at Foley Square by 8:30 AM to check-in. On-site registration will remain open until 9:00 AM.

How do I get to the Recovery Rally?

Public transportation makes it easy to get to Foley Square.

From New York City, you can get to the rally by subway, bus, or LIRR.

• Subway – Take the 4, 5, or 6 line to Brooklyn Bridge-City Hall.
  Take the 1, 2,3, J, M, or Z line to Chambers Street.
  Take the R or W line to City Hall.
• Bus – Take the M1, M6, M15, M22, M103, or the B51 to City Hall.
• LIRR – Take the LIRR to 34th St. Penn Station. Transfer to the A Train Downtown and get off at Chambers St.

If you’re driving to Foley Square, please see the directions below. Click here for a list of available parking garages nearby. You can also use Mapquest by simply typing in the intersection of Duane Street, Lafayette Street, Centre Street and Pearl Street.

Click here for full info

Since I quit drinking alcohol and began living a sober life, I have done a lot of reading. I started this post thinking that I would share some of the interesting reads that I have come across this week. Then it struck me just how much of this past year I have devoted to reading material mainly about sobriety, alcoholism, recovery, addiction, mental health, self growth, personal development, achievement and success.
Most of what I have absorbed this past year has been about the above topics mainly because it had to be. I needed to immerse myself in overcoming addiction and living a sober life. If I had not invested my time doing this, my sobriety journey would have ended in failure a long time ago.
Reading, taking action, journal writing, and exercising, receiving support from family and friends, therapy and writing Recovery Princess has got me to where I am today. Nearly a year sober!
I should tell you that there has been anger, tears, frustration, pain, sadness, fear and anxiety. All of which have tried to lure me back to the bottle, but I do firmly believe that everything I have filled my mind with has been paying off and has kept me sober.
Here are some recent reads that I have come across that you might find useful:
Creators.com - I have signed up to receive two daily alerts from Zig Ziglar (Lifestyle and inspirational writer) and William Moyers (Beyond addiction). There are many other writers covering all aspects of life but these are the two that I really enjoy and get something out of.
Simpletruths.com – I signed up to receive regular newsletters from here. They are amazing and very uplifting. Also, when you go to the website, click on “view our Inspirational Movies” and watch all the short movies that they have. They each convey a meaningful message that we often forget about in our daily lives. The ones I really enjoyed were “The Race” and “Walk The Talk” my husband enjoyed “A Peacock in the land of penguins”. There is something for everyone on there and it is well worth a few minutes of your time. The website sells each of the movies, books and cd’s but it doesn’t cost you anything to watch them and receive the newsletter.

Whilst reading a post “Three Quick Tips for Getting Ahead in Life”  from “My Super Charged Life”, I came across an interesting blog article titled “Someone Just threw a shoe at you” and it helped me put some things in perspective. I like the authors style of writing and it made perfect sense. So I would go over and sign up for daily updates from both “My Super Charged Life” and “The Fluent Self” -

Here is an updated list of sobriety, personal development and motivational books that I have either read or have on my ‘To Read’ list. You might find some of these useful:

• Psycho-Cybernetics by Maxwell Maltz, Ph.D – To change your view of yourself
• You can heal your life by Louise Hay
• Zero limits-  Joe Vitale
• A complaint free world, How to stop complaining and start enjoying the life you always wanted by Will Bowen
• Stages of life – Carl Jung
• Women who think too much
• Turnabout by Jean Kirkpatrick
• Passages by Gail Sheey
• Goodbye hangovers Hello Life by Jean Kirkpatrick
• On the road to sell recovery by Jean Kirkpatrick
• A fresh Start by Jean Kirkpatrick
• Self-Reliance by Ralph Waldo Emerson
• Wishcraft: How to get what you really want by Barbara Sher
• Steven Covey Books
  

Don’t forget to download your free copy of “Addiction Help Guide“by Patrick Meninga of Spiritual River. Just click on the image in the left column and save to your pc.

Please share any books or resources that have helped you.

I am looking for some writers to contribute to Recovery Princess. The type of writing should be inspirational and motivational and of course unique.
I think that anyone contemplating sobriety or anyone who has had some success with sobriety after abusing alcohol for a prolonged period of time would fit nicely with Recovery Princess.
Recovery Princess is primarily my sharing of the sobriety journey that I am on. I now include relevant articles that I come across in the press and I have added some personal insights as I go along.
I have come to realize that there are many people out there who are on the verge of giving up drinking alcohol, they are searching for information, inspiration and motivation to give them the push they need to quit drinking alcohol for good. This is why I think that more positive writing from personal experience may be helpful to others.
It could also work if you are currently drinking and want to stop but there are things holding you back, sharing your experience will be helpful too.
So, if you think you have something to share and this might be a good fit for you then please leave me a comment below. Or email me at madison @ recoveryprincess.com

Thanks!

Life really is good without alcohol.

Life is good. I feel like I am waking up from a really long dream. It seems unreal that I actually lived that way for so long. It is a strange but liberating feeling. I am finally free from the crap of alcoholism.

Sobriety will have its challenging days, I know that for sure but I will take sobriety over using alcohol to numb my every feeling any day.

I never thought I would see the day that I could write something like this and honestly mean it. I am glad to be where I am right now.

Source; CNN by Madison Park

When rehab and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings didn’t work for Eddie Freas, he sought another way to kick his 20-year drug and alcohol addiction.

He swam 2.4 miles. He biked 112 miles. He ran 26.2 miles. The Pennsville, New Jersey, resident found relief in triathlons.

“I feel better when I’m working out,” said Freas, 33. “It does wonders for the mind. The reason I started running — it was a switch that went off in my head. I started feeling positive and feeling great about myself.”

Freas spent his youth in pursuit of drugs. At the age of 13, he snuck bottles of Amaretto and rum from his mother’s liquor cabinet. He also developed a taste for marijuana and cocaine. By his senior year of high school, Freas was kicked off the wrestling and football teams after failing a drug test.

Then in 2007, after a three-day binge, “I came home and was crying,” Freas said. “I was so depressed. I turned on the TV.” The set was tuned to ESPN, which was airing a story about a former drug addict who competed in triathlons.

The program’s subject was Todd Crandell, who had lost a college hockey scholarship because of a drug addiction. After 13 years of using drugs, Crandell started competing in Ironman races and championed finding positive ways to fight addiction through his program called Racing for Recovery.

Having an athletic background, I was drawn to getting back in shape,” Crandell said. “It makes you turn intellectually and spiritually fit. Exercise is essential. It decreases addiction, depression and you use it as part of the recovery.”

Freas was entranced by the parallels.

“His whole story seemed like mine,” Freas said. “That’s why it hit me so much. It was my story but it happened to somebody else. I knew I had to get back into fitness.”

He took a bus to Racing for Recovery’s office in Sylvania, Ohio. There, Freas said he learned to “stay clean and use other things — fitness, instead of drugs.” On his first day, Freas pushed himself to run 10 miles.

“It killed me,” Freas said. “I was just motivated. I was sore for a week and I gradually got into it. As soon as I started including fitness into my everyday lifestyle, it made it so much easier. It kept me busy and because of the physical fitness, it was making me feel better about myself.”

He pushed himself to run farther and raced in his first Ironman competition in 2008.

“It’s different when you use drugs, you temporarily feel good and afterwards, you feel like doing more drugs,” Freas said. “When you go for a long run and do physical fitness, you feel good doing it.”

Research in animals and humans show that exercise can be a mild antidepressant.

“It isn’t a huge surprise when you consider many positive effects exercise can have with regards to the brain chemistry: dopamine, serotonin, endorphin, epinephrine — these are all associated with mood altering effects,” said Dr. Cedric Bryant, the chief science officer for the American Council on Exercise. “If they’re able to get this natural high, through a natural endeavor such as exercise, it allows them to replace the means to achieve that high with a more positive approach.”

One study showed that women trying to quit smoking were more successful when they exercised. And the National Institute on Drug Abuse held a conference last year to explore the possible role of physical activity in substance abuse prevention.

“The thought centers around the release of mood-altering brain chemical, mainly endorphins,” Bryant said. “It gives you euphoria or what you call ‘runner’s high.’ ”

Crandell said some people who battle drug addiction “want something more than sitting in support groups filled with smoke, complaining about drinking.”

“I’ve had some of my naysayers from other programs who say you’ve taken one addiction and replaced it for another,” Crandell said. “I’ve taken addiction and put into a new focus that includes exercise. Exercise for me is essential to my recovery and well-being.”

The purpose of Racing for Recovery is not to turn everyone into an athlete, but to focus on positive pursuits in a person’s life.

“Whatever you lost during your addiction, that should be your Ironman, not just running,” Crandell said. “If your goal is to become a teacher, let that be your Ironman.”

Click here for full article

Have the will to be successfully sober!

“The difference between the successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of will”

Vince Lombardi

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After giving up drinking alcohol and approaching my first year of sobriety, I often wonder if it has been worth it and if I have really changed for the better. For the most part, sobriety has been a real eye opener and an amazing journey of self discovery. It has felt so good not to experience the many negative thoughts, feelings and consequences associated with abusing alcohol. But, there have also been many extremely difficult times when I have felt so depressed, unhappy and hopeless. Fortunately, the low times have not outweighed the high times of my sobriety. During sobriety, this is not something that you think of often, which is why I was pleasantly surprised when I read an article ‘Be Kind, Please Rewind: Reflections From A Year Ago‘ from ‘My Supercharged Life’. 

This time last year;

I was in a constant state of panic and anxiety fuelled by alcohol consumption and hangovers
My every move was dictated by whether or not I would be able to drink alcohol
I argued with my spouse on a daily basis about random unimportant issues
I had no self control
I was depressed
I was angry
I was lost
I could not envision the future
Getting out of bed was a huge effort
I was totally self absorbed

This list could go on and on, I was really in a bad place. Alcohol had really reduced me to a miserable wreck. So, after reading through this fabulous post, I reflected on just how far I have come and how much better my life is right now.

Now;

In the course of the year, the panic and anxiety I experience is on occasion, NOT daily
I no longer rely on alcohol in order to function. I lead a busy but fulfilling daily life that I enjoy
The few arguments that I have with my spouse now are ‘normal’. They do not turn into the nonsensical, loud and over the top arguments that used to escalate 
I have self control - I have given up alcohol, cigarettes, self pity
I am no longer depressed, I have some moments but nothing like a year ago.
I have let go of the anger
I know who I am now and where I am headed
There is not enough hours in the day for me to do all the things I want to do
I am able to be a support for those around me when they need it

Part of my motivation comes from reading articles such as this. My Super Charged Life authored by Jeff Nickles is one of my favorite reading spots, I recommend it highly for some much needed motivation. 

Have you reached a year of sobriety? What are your reflections?

Ever since I quit drinking alcohol, I have really enjoyed sobriety quotes and affirmations. I wouldn’t say that they change everything in your world but they sure can help to give you perspective, pick you up when you feel down or challenge you to try and live a little differently and for the better.

I have many quotes that I look at from time to time and I collect them as I find them.

Today I came across this one from Zig Ziglar;

“Discipline yourself to do the things you need to do when you need to do them, and the day will come when you will be able to do the things you want to do when you want to do them!”

Do you have any favorite alcohol recovery or sobriety quotes? Please share them in the comments

I am so excited to announce that I have a free eBook about Alcohol, Drug Addiction and Creative Recovery for you to download. This book was written by a friend of mine, Patrick Meninga who authors the Spiritual River website about Overcoming Alcohol and Drug Addiction.

This book covers;

* The 2 stages of recovery and how your strategy should differ for each stage

* The transition to long term sobriety

* Typical mistakes that are made in early recovery

* Going beyond group therapy as a solution

* Finding a framework for creative recovery

* Creating with action in your life

* Using gratitude and continuous learning as tools for recovery

* What comes next after achieving the creative life in recovery

* Helping others with recovery 

If you have a drinking problem or if you know someone who does, please share this book with them.

I hope you enjoy the book!

Free eBook about Alcohol and Addiction

Subscribe to Recovery Princess by Email

I just came across another sobriety book that tells the story about overcoming alcoholism and drug abuse.
(TheManOverboard-Book.com)
The Man Overboard is the dramatic story of Darryl Hagar, a Merchant Marine Officer who within his life of discipline and order led a secret, clandestine existence of alcoholism, drug abuse, chaos, and crime. In The Man Overboard, Darryl retells his gripping personal account of his struggle to reclaim control of his life and begin the journey toward recovery from a lifestyle no one even knew existed……
Click here to read more about Daryl Hagar and directly to the website which promotes his book about overcoming alcoholism and drug abuse.

First you quit drinking, and then you need to stay sober. Here are 18 ways to help you stay sober.

1. Walk and exercise daily
2. Write in a journal frequently, read Journal Writing To Stay Sober
3. Confide in your family and friends. Tell them you want to stay sober and you need their help
4. Join a support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous or Women For Sobriety, join the online forums too
5. Read sobriety books
6. Read inspirational websites and blogs about subjects that interest you
7. Read personal development books
8. Plan your day by using a schedule
9. Set 3 daily goals and achieve them
10. Get organized and clear out the clutter
11. Stay away from the people and places that tempt you to drink alcohol
12. Identify your triggers
13. Write a goodbye letter to alcohol
14. Write ‘Morning Pages‘
15. Write 3 things that you are grateful for every day
16. Create a life list, read ‘Create a Life List’  and visit My Life List
17. Start a blog
18. Get a therapist

All of these methods have helped me to stay sober. I hope you find them useful too.

In the beginning of sobriety, almost immediately, you begin to notice the positive side of what sobriety brings to your life.

Throughout these early days, it is the small benefits that a newly sober person gets excited about. Waking up without a hangover for a whole week seems enough at times to make you want to jump out of bed and shout “Wow, this is great! I feel like a new person!”

As the months go by, there are other benefits of being sober which is why I wanted to write an updated post.

• You notice that your mind seems clearer
• You begin to think about new possibilities
• The first seedlings of hope begin to sprout
• You become more organized
• You feel like you are on the right path to find real purpose and meaning
• Life becomes a journey
• People admire you and ask for your advice about how to get sober
• Another benefit of being sober is that your problem solving ability returns. As opposed to turning to alcohol for strength or to help you deal with your problem, you are forced to rely on your natural ability to problem solve. This is huge! It is definitely tough the first few times but once you experience making it through a few of your problems without reaching for a drink, your confidence begins to restore, slowly but surely. You learn to face life’s situations and work through them using all that you have within you.
• You begin to explore who you really are. Everything changes when you get sober. Being sober is truly a discovery of who you really are. Alcohol accentuates, creates and enhances aspects of your personality that are otherwise not present. In other words, you do, say and act differently when under the influence of alcohol. So when you quit alcohol, you will start to notice that are things that you do not enjoy as much as you used to. Your interests will start to change. This is because you are coming closer to who you really are, the natural you, the one without alcohol.
• You start to create. Being sober for a period of time will lead you to do one of two things. You will either get very depressed and unable to accept this dramatic change to your lifestyle, which will lead you back to alcohol. Or, you will begin to create. A must read on this subject is the creative theory of recovery explained. In my opinion, creation is the only successful route to take. When you create something and get in touch with your creative side, you will begin to feel passion and purpose, this is essential in your sobriety.  At this time in my life, Recovery Princess is my creative outlet. It allows me to delve into my journey through sobriety, express myself, help and inspire others. Writing and doing research for Recovery Princess has been a huge benefit of being sober because is allowing me to explore my creative side. This of course is just one aspect of creation. What you create is entirely up to you. Do something different, try to figure out what you enjoy and do more of it. Read about subjects that interest you, work on creating a different lifestyle. The more you do this, the more of a good habit it will become. You will soon find that creation is a benefit of sobriety.

Another absolute must read is the addiction treatment guide, this is a monster of a post and  is jam packed with Frequently Asked Questions that you can soak up to help you through the process.

What benefits of sobriety have you experienced? Do you think there are any benefits to sobriety? Tell us what you think in the comments.

Thank you for visiting “Recovery Princess; Quit Drinking and Enjoy Sobriety”