Substance Abuse And Addictions Understanding How They Affect Our Relationships

I came across this article and liked the unusual writing style of the author. Good content and an interesting read.

Understanding Substance Abuse And Addictions And How They Affect Our Relationships

Source: Knoxville Relationship Psychology Examiner, Ron Mottern

Substance abuse and addiction wreaks havoc on our relationships for any number of reasons. In the local area, authorities busted 15 members of a drug ring in Crossville that was distributing cocaine, methamphetamines, marijuana and prescription drugs. In Knoxville, four churches have been burglarized and I am willing to venture that these burglaries are related to supporting a drug habit. Although the social implications of these stories are apparent, what is not mentioned is the interpersonal misery that is caused by substance abuse and addiction. While the headlines focus on the broader aspects of drugs in society, the lives effected by drug abuse and addiction are only marginally acknowledged. A recent case where we may imagine the relational hurt caused by substance abuse and addiction is the Taconic State Parkway crash that left eight people dead, including four children, and has been linked to alcohol and marijuana use by one of the drivers.

The tendency to ignore the individual aspects of these stories is unfortunate since substance abuse and addiction is fairly widespread in our society. It is likely that either we or those whom we know have experienced problems with substance abuse and addiction in some way, either personally or through family or friends.

Having been engaged in substance abuse counseling for the past decade, one of the questions I am frequently asked by friends and family members who are suffering from seeing a loved one choose substance abuse and addiction is “Why is this happening.” I don’t think their question is existential. They are asking to understand how someone they love and who once loved them can betray that relationship for drugs. It just doesn’t make sense to them.

One way of understanding substance abuse and addiction is through Choice Theory Psychology. We all have five Basic Needs (Survival, Love, Recognition, Fun and Freedom) that we must attempt to fulfill. When these Needs are met, and they are met best through our relationships with other people, we are happy. When these Needs are not met, we are miserable. If I am not getting my Needs met, e.g., my wife has left me, I have been laid off at work, insert your own situation here., then I am going to be miserable. One way that I can feel better is to use alcohol or other drugs (AOD). It works every time. Unfortunately, AOD don’t fulfill our Needs, they just cover up the misery of not having our Needs met, so when I come down off my high or sober up after my drunk I am just as miserable as I was before, if not more so because it’s now been longer since I’ve had my Needs fulfilled. Because I am still miserable, I use AOD again. It is in this way that AOD get to be what we understand as pictures in our Quality World.

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Tags: drug abuse and addiction, substance abuse and addiction, substance abuse counselling, understanding substance abuse, use alcohol or other drugs