One Year Sober – I Did It!

I recently passed one year of sobriety. I can’t believe it…1 year sober. What a year it has been!

Recently I have noticed that I have wanted to post less and less on Recovery Princess. I was upset by this and so I questioned myself about why I feel that way. Once you get to the year mark, life becomes more about learning how to live everyday life as a “normal” person. It is not really about staying away from the alcohol on a daily basis, the new routines that I have formed do not leave a huge amount of room for temptation so on a daily basis I am not really thinking about alcohol. Now when I say this, I do not mean that I am never tempted to drink or that I don’t think about it anymore. It is just different from those first days, weeks and months that you have to get through for the first time without alcohol. I have done so many of those first times, I have nearly experienced everything sober during this first year so life has become far more normal for me without alcohol. I haven’t done everything though, and I haven’t spent time with many of the people that I used to drink with so I am mindful of that. So when I think about why I don’t want to write posts about my recovery I think that this is the reason why. I hope you are still with me, it is quite a lot to articulate!

But, when I look back at Recovery Princess, I realize that I must keep writing because this is the real test, the real struggle, living a sober life to the best of your ability. It is this part of the journey that is the hardest, it is not actually stopping drinking although many may argue this point, it is staying off the drink forever.

I often feel like I am congratulating myself and patting myself on the back for tiny daily milestones. Things like sitting with strangers and enjoying regular conversation, being able to spend long periods of time doing something without feeling preoccupied with wanting to drink or get away, living life like a “normal” person and feeling contented, experiencing all kinds of feelings, thoughts, emotions that are difficult and upsetting and really going through it all without numbing everything with alcohol, seeing the change in my relationships with family and friends. There are so many new aspects of my life that I guess are new first times for me. In fact, life now seems to be a series of new insights, everything that I do is not necessarily different that what I used to do, but how I feel is extraordinarily different.

My recent bout of blues lasted far longer than a week, it was more like three weeks. But I came out of it feeling stronger because I had identified some issues that were holding me back. Sobriety at this stage is somewhat like being in a new relationship after a bad one, you come into it with a whole load of baggage that you have to learn to unload, it takes time and it takes a keen sense of wanting to understand yourself and being honest about your beliefs, behaviors and actions. 

I feel like the first year of  sobriety was fuelled by first times, new experiences, learning how to put one foot in front of the other again, reviewing who I am and what is important, having a vision of the future, taking action to make changes and utilizing support when necessary. The first year is over and in many ways I am glad, I do miss the initial phase of determination which came back to me many times over the year but never quite as fiercely. The first year has been a huge basis for my future and I am excited to see where I am at this time next year.

I have so much more to say and share, I just needed to get this first post out again to start the writing ball rolling again. I hope I have not been babbling or not making much sense here but I am sharing as best I can, after all that was my vision for Recovery Princess, to share the journey.

 I also wanted to mention that I have made some online friends through this journey which has been a really nice experience, there is a lot of support in sobriety if you seek it and accept it. 

Two websites that I am following and enjoy immensely are:

http://giveupalcohol.blogspot.com/ and http://www.spiritualzen.net/ as well as this website about alcoholism treatment

Take a look, they are well worth your time reading and following.

Madison

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Tags: 1 year sober, exprienced everything sober, first time without alcohol, first year of sobriety, living a sober life, numbing things with alcohol, One year sober, people I used to drink with