Sobriety Sucks..What I Hate About Sobriety

June 21, 2009

I realized today that what I hate the most about sobriety is that you see everyone for who they really are, including yourself. You see every flaw and it can be tough to handle.

So much of my life was spent trying to ignore many things going on around me. Maybe ignore is the wrong word. I guess what I am talking about is avoidance. Trying not to process anything that was too upsetting or that I couldn’t handle emotionally.

Now, it seems that I can see everyone with a clear view and the sad thing is I don’t like alot of what I see. I can’t say it is all bad, in fact the things that I don’t feel comfortable about don’t plague me on a daily basis. Thank goodness. But still, I see so much that I would rather not. It certainly is not easy being sober.

How do you deal with all these feelings, fears, dislikes, realities? What do you do when you have made your choices with a fuzzy head but now have a clear one? What do you do when reality is as clear as a bell and you don’t like it?

I don’t have the answer, I know that alcohol is not the answer. Maybe if I never drank alcohol I wouldn’t be sitting here with all these thoughts racing through my mind, I would be a different person than the one I am today.

But the person I am today comes with many benefits so I will remind myself of those. It is not all bad and no doubt as I have experienced many times before, the morning will bring a different and better day.

I think I am in limbo. Nearly a year sober but not long enough sober to be really sober.

I can reinvent myself, after all I think that is really what being sober is all about. You don’t just stop drinking alcohol, you wake up to the real and true you, you face up to what is, what is not and what can be. You change, not a little, a lot. In the process, those around you will change too. Or maybe they won’t, but your perception of them will change and theirs of you too.

Look onwards and upwards, be who you want to be, leave those behind who no longer fit with the new you. Life is a series of stepping stones and nothing can stay the same forever.

If all else fails and you are a girl. Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.

Tags: a year sober, alcohol is not the answer, just stop drinking alcohol, nearly a year sober, not easy being sober, sobriety sucks, what I hate about sobriety, what i hate the most about sobriety

6 Responses to Sobriety Sucks..What I Hate About Sobriety

Anne on June 22, 2009 at 6:32 pm

Hi Madison,

I don’t mean to bug you but I sent an email responding to your post about wanting to post for recovery princess.com. I included a sample post called: What happened what my feelings came back.

Could you let me know either way if you’d like to work with me? PS I changed the url for my blog.

Thanks

Anne
SheilaJoyce on June 22, 2009 at 6:48 pm

You’re doing great ! Just great !!
Stick with it, as I wouldn’t wish any of the severe health afflictions, alcohol silently carries, on even my worst enemy………………!
As it stripped everything from my late hubby & I………..little things like um, careers which equals income, travel, sports etc etc….!

If you’re friends abandon you, so what !
I lost more relatives & friends when Gary died, as they couldn’t handle my sorrow, therefore I’m far better off without the lot of them !

God Bless & take care…..
You’ve got your entire beautiful healthy life ahead of you to enjoy & treasure………..!
Madison on June 24, 2009 at 4:27 am

Thanks!

Just as I thought, the days since this one have been better. I think the trick is to always be aware if you are in a negative state of mind. That way you do the things that help to take you out of it. Journal or read or talk to a friend, all of these things help.
Patrick on June 24, 2009 at 4:41 pm

This blog post is right on the money, Madison. So nice to hear someone share from the heart!

And, if you will let me use a horrible cliche, “you are right where you need to be!” Ugh, I hate cliches, but that is what I thought when I read this post.

You are making real growth in your life and that is so obvious to us reading this…..give yourself a break now and realize that you are on the right path.
Vivian Eisenecher on August 6, 2009 at 9:08 am

Hi Madison,
I just came across your article and had to tell you that it is okay to be uncomfortable! This is truly the place where we grow. Don’t give up and don’t give in!
Vivian
Madison on August 6, 2009 at 4:36 pm

Thanks Vivian, this post was written on a very bad day. As you can appreciate, there are a few of those. Writing it out on Recovery Princess is a helpful way for me to both vent and share my experience. I think that too many alcoholics think they are alone in what they feel and I am here to show that we all have tough times in sobriety but we must not give in.
Thanks for coming back!

Stop Drinking Alcohol by Recovery Princess

Resources

Sobriety Sucks..What I Hate About Sobriety

6 Responses to Sobriety Sucks..What I Hate About Sobriety

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Archives

Tags