Stop Drinking Alcohol – Daily Thought

By Madison

Since I have stopped drinking alcohol, I have spent a lot of time thinking about how scary it would be if I relapsed. It really is the scariest thought I have about sobriety. I wonder if I will ever drink alcohol again or if I could cope if something really bad happened. What if the people I care about most and whose support I rely on leave me or let me down, or even worse, if something happened to someone I care about deeply, could I handle sobriety on my own? would I have the strength to be sober all by myself.  These are the thoughts that I ponder on lately.

My sobriety has become extremely valuable to me now. I know now that living  a sober life is the only way forward for me. I get scared about not seeing this journey all the way through. I am learning that even though I go through many ups and downs, each time I come out the other end I learn something new about myself. I have a different perspective on the bad times now that I never understood before.

When I was drinking and experiencing tough times, I would generally handle everything by drinking more and more. I never let nature runs its course. I drank alcohol because I didn’t want to feel those feelings or think those thoughts, it was just too hard. But now that I am sober, I find that one of the benefits of sobriety is that I feel again, the good and the bad, when I have a problem, I feel the emotions that come over me, I think about everything and then I find a way to resolve the issue or I put it on the back burner until I am ready to process it again. It just seems like life makes more sense. Life is real again.

I want more of the good times that I have experienced now, and I get scared out of my wits that one day I will mess up and drink alcohol again and then it will all be gone.

But I won’t let that happen, I will continue to strive for a better life no matter what is going on externally. I will continue to learn from all the good and bad times that I experience and I will continue to be grateful for all the good memories that I have since being sober.


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This entry was posted on Saturday, May 16th, 2009 at 9:30 pm and is filed under Get Sober. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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