The First Week Of Sobriety

First Week of Sobriety
First Week of Sobriety

THE FIRST WEEK OF SOBRIETY ~ MY EXPERIENCE

After I quit drinking alcohol and made it through the first day of sobriety, I began to write often and extensively in a daily journal.


Writing is therapeutic

The writing was therapeutic and one of the advantages is that I can look over what I wrote back then and summarize my first week of sobriety for the benefit of others, it’s also great to see how far I have come.

In the beginning of my first week of sobriety, I experienced a great deal of irritability and anger. When I decided to give up drinking I also chose to quit smoking at the same time, the two for me went hand in hand, so giving up both made sense, it was overwhelming because I didn’t have either vice to turn to.

THE HARDEST PART

The hardest part of the first week of sobriety was overcoming the constant negative self talk flooding my mind. It was exhausting, a journal entry I wrote at the time gives insight:

I still don’t feel good, I feel tired and mentally strained. This is so tiring, It is hard enough to have given up drinking and smoking, now I have to deal with my naked mind. I just don’t know if I can do it, I guess this is the true test.”

Throughout the week I used exercise as a way to unwind and rid the pervasive negativity. I would go to the gym and work out for about an hour and a half each day. It helped.

BEING PRESENT

I kept the negativity at bay by going for long walks.  I named these walks ‘My Power Stomps’ (more about these in a future post). During the stomp I would attempt to quiet my mind by concentrating on ‘being present in the moment’ each time my mind wandered, I would force myself to bring my attention back to the present moment and fully concentrate on everything going on around me; the sounds I heard, the colors of the plants and flowers, It was a challenge but I was determined, by the end of the stomp I felt clear-headed. Power stomping eradicated the negative thoughts.

THE BIGGEST TEST

The biggest test of my sobriety came during the middle of the week, a family situation arose and I ended up feeling infuriated and misunderstood. The outcome of this was that I found it very difficult to handle the emotions I was feeling without turning to alcohol for respite.  It was tough, all I wanted was a drink and cigarette to help forget about all the bothersome thoughts, feelings and emotions racing through my mind. My sobriety was really put to the test.

ZERO TOLERANCE

A few things helped to stop me from picking up a drink. I went for a very long walk until I cooled off, I literally stomped the anger away. I also constantly reminded myself that I had a ‘Zero Tolerance’ agreement with myself about alcohol. No matter what was going on I would not use alcohol to solve my problem. You can read more about ‘Zero Tolerance’ at Spiritual River, a website about overcoming alcohol and drug addiction.

Throughout the first week of sobriety, I made a huge effort to understand my emotions as opposed to acting on them. I found the best way to diminish any outbursts was to take long walks or turn to daily journal.

Much of the first week was spent thinking about how I had ended up in this situation, there was much thinking about my entire life and trying to figure out where it all began. I am not so sure that rethinking the whole of your life is helpful, it is more of a natural thought process that occurs when you quit drinking.

Towards the end of the first week, I was much less angry and irritable. I felt extremely proud of myself for making it through that length of time. I had enjoyed a few things and experienced some fun moments without alcohol. That was a huge deal!

I came to the conclusion that I needed more of a solid plan to help get me through the next week. (I will discuss this in the next post).

First week of sobriety
First week of sobriety

WHAT TO EXPECT THE FIRST WEEK OF SOBRIETY

Based on my experiences, I have a list of what to expect in the first week of sobriety, it gets much better after the first week!

  • Negative Self Talk
  • Irritability
  • Anger
  • Frustration
  • Hopelessness
  • Cravings for alcohol
  • Anxiety
  • A desire to be away from anyone who is drinking alcohol
  • Fear of not being able to abstain from alcohol
  • Worry about what others will think of you now that you have quit drinking
  • A need to speak with someone who understands what you are going through
  • A feeling of loss
  • Sadness

TIPS FOR THE FIRST WEEK OF SOBRIETY

Based on my experience, here are some things you can do to combat all of the above:

    • Go for long walks and do as much exercise as your schedule allows
    • Plan your day by writing out a daily schedule
    • Keep away from other drinkers
    • Concentrate on getting through today and do not fixate on the future
    • Speak regularly with someone that you trust; a friend, relative or AA Support group
    • Educate yourself about alcohol recovery – Click here to see the most popular sobriety book on Amazon The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home written by Jack Canfield one of my favorite authors.
  • Write in a journal each day

By making a constant effort to do these things, you will find that you maintain a higher level of enthusiastic sobriety which is essential if you truly want to quit drinking alcohol for good.

A great program to delve into is Magic in Your Mind by Bob Proctor and Mary Morrissey. This is an affiliate link for a program that I believe can be helpful especially during this first week. If you don’t have it in you to do all of the above, choose at least ONE thing! if you can, then throw everything at the wall this first week, try it all, your goal is to get through it without alcohol so that you realize YOU CAN DO IT! Let me know how you are getting on through your first week, share you tips and suggestions for making it through the first week of sobriety.

Thank you for visiting “Recovery Princess; Quit Drinking and Enjoy Sobriety

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93 thoughts on “The First Week Of Sobriety

  1. I have to admit, my first week of sobriety was spent in a medical detox unit. My second week of sobriety was spent in residential treatment.

    And my first 2 years of sobriety were spent in long term treatment.

    It takes what it takes! That is what it took for me…..

  2. I’m going through my first week of sobriety and I feel or felt everything you just listed. It really sucks, but I know it’ll only get better. I just feel really defeated at times, but at least I’m not drinking. I have a huge fear that I will start drinking again, but I’m trying to avoid that by talking to a sponsor everyday. The anger, resentment, and sadness are in full force, plus I’m in grad school, so I’m really struggling. I exercise as well to keep my mind off it. Thanks for your post, at least I’m not alone.

  3. Hi Sahra,
    You are right, it really does suck. I can not deny that the beginning of sobriety is the hardest part. But, I also have to tell you that once you get past the early days, life will improve more than you can imagine. I was in your shoes too once so I can empathize.
    It sounds like you are doing the right things for yourself. Keep going and be strong. Do you have a vision for your future? If not, start planning one, it is fun and inspiring.
    Good luck. Remember to read and write in a journal.

  4. I think my first week in sobriety I was on a quick pink cloud probably based on the relief from finally surrendering and finding a solution. The emotional roller coaster of the first year or two, however, quickly followed! 🙂 Thanks for this post, it reminds me to dig out my old journals from then too.

  5. I have never thought of myself as an alcholic just an habitual drinker most evenings a few pints or glasses of wine.
    Can take it or leave it booze has no hold on me is how i have been makeing it more acceptable to myself. Sadly I would pat myself on the back if I did’nt drink for one night as if that where proof.
    However I have begun to see a pattern of dependance and a recognition that it has a bigger hold on me than i have realised.
    I have not had a drink now for a week ,after having my liver tested at the doctors and my count being not being very good.
    I have hads many emotions come and go over the week but i am holding my ground. I drink out of lonliness even though i have people around sounds strange I know. Friends to talk too can help I’m sure if only i had some!

  6. Hi Paul,

    Sounds like you have some real thinking to do. Having physical complications from alcohol is something you can not mess with. Congrats on a week free from alcohol!
    Madison

  7. So I never thought I had a problem, but here I am day 3 and I am miserable. Who knew 3 days without a drink would make me so nuts. I am cranky and bored, I wont go out with my friends due to fear of peer pressure. But I know this is the best choice for me if I want my life to go the way I want it to. This entry really helped me in knowing it will get better, thank you.

  8. Hi all, I have written a post anywhere, but I also have never been to an aa meeting, like I did yesterday! It was strange, not sure that group is for me, but thought I’d try. It will be 1 week tomorrow. Started drinking wine as a “treat” after have 2 boys 11 months apart. Was drinking 3+ glasses every night for past 12 years. Tried to moderate didnt work, and I would end up smoking in secret as well. Its not easy, I am scared to think of never drinking again, so its “one day at a time”, but I am more scared to go back to the shame of not living my life to the fullest. I want to be fully present for this life. Good to see others on same mission.

  9. I’m in the first week of sobriety and I feel a tremendous amount of shame and guilt. I’m worried that I will not be able to stop drinking because I’ve tried many times before. Reading this blog has given me hope because I’m experiencing the list of negative side effects you listed such as the negative thinking and I’m experiencing all as well. I feel a sense of hopelessness but I’m trusting that time will make me a believer once again. Good luck on your journey and know I am in the same position as you.

  10. Hi Olivia,
    I am glad that Recovery Princess has given you hope. I remember only too well the stage of sobriety that you are in. Reading this website is a great place to start, there are lots of resources for you to take advantage of. You need all the help you can get in these early days.
    I am in no place to comment on your shame and guilt but I can tell you that I have felt my fair share too. I learned to acknowledge it but not let it rule me. This is real life. People make mistakes and nobody is perfect. I tried to focus on what I needed to do to help me get better, one of those things was to write everything out. It was very therapeutic and helped me very much.
    Good luck to you. Thanks for your comment.

  11. Well, ive decided to just STOP im 41 have been drinkin jack for well,i started when i was 23 so thats a while now. there were other vices that i did for the same amount of time. I gotta rebuild my life..I still got 30 years to go and they will not be spent the way ive lived in the past. Id appreciate your understanding and support

  12. Hi, today I realized that I can not control myself when I drink. I become a totally awful person. I made a drunken fool of myself at my husbands Christmas party infront of everyone he works with. My dear sweet husband is so hurt by my actions and has told me tonight he will never take me to a function with alcohol again. I don’t drink often but when I do at an event I loose all control. I have said I need to stop binge drinking and just cut back but tonight I realized I have a pattern of destructive behavior on alcohol. I love my family and the person I am sober. I am not an AA fan. Any advice for starting this road to alcohol abstinence without AA?

  13. I am on day 5 without alcohol. Mainly, I have been afflicted by sleeplessness and some anxiety (chiefly about what life will be like now without booze). Beer was my drink of choice, and good beer. I fear missing the taste of hops. Also, last night I awoke with some slight tremoring in my arms which lasted for about five minutes. For me, the greatest obstacle has been the cravings. Already, though, I can feel my mind clearing and my emotional stability returning. I am happy to be on this road now (no AA for me; just me vs. the poison), and I wish the best of luck to everyone struggling with the demon rum!

  14. Day 1 and i feel like crap,as usual.ive been a closet drinker for years and my wife still dose not know about my habit. im scared to tell her because i dont want to hurt her. i have to do this alone and save her the disapointment and anger. hope this goes well.

  15. Drinking (for alcoholics)means being stripped of your dignity; your sanity and anything else you hold dear when sober. It has no conscience and you will have none neither. It’s a bitter, degrading and exhaustingly painful lesson to learn and only you will know when you have learned…until then drink is the master. It wants and needs to keep you alone, isolated where your only true love will be yourself and it……..but there is another way. Stay sober and get back in the driving seat.

  16. I have just finished one week sober. I’m 41 and have been drinking up to 2 litres of wine everyday. This week I’ve been experiencing nausea, diarrhea, headaches, daytime fatigue and insomnia. But I stuck with it. I can’t say I feel much better yet, but I know I can’t go back. The best thing is I no longer feel like drinking – I don’t even want to imagine the taste. I’ve got a long way to go, but am so proud I’ve made it to a week!

  17. Ahh been a 35 to 40 beer a week healthy drunk for years. Never a sloppy drunk and once I go over 6 beers I usually go home and sleep. I have always worked out, drank lots of water, sat in saunas, ate good and took supplements. The next morning headaches and general slowness at 50 prompted me to drop this habit and have felt great. Dropped 20 pounds, and I am beyond the point of really caring what others think if I don’t drink with them.. I just laugh and say ones too many and 15 is not enough. Damn bars charge more for bottled water than draft beer..go figure.

    Never really had any serious effects of quitting, slept good, ate more, and turned up my exercise routine. Also, was on the toilet seat the first week blowing out the toxins I guess.

  18. Hi its my birthday today, and I have not had a drink for 15 days! My dependency was causing problems with my husband, work, friends basically I was loosing control and started secret drinking, which gave me the biggest buzz than all and hiding the fact that I had a bottle of wine before anybody got home! Of course my husband knew but didn’t know how to approach things! The final straw was falling asleep at a di her party by 7:30pm! The embarassment was too much, so that’s it now! No turning back, I have replaced wine for running and tonight we are out for dinner, it will be my first birthday without booze for 20 years…

  19. Hi today is my birthday, I have been sober for 2 weeks after realizing that my daily glass of wine was a bottle habit which I tried to sneak in before the family got home! The final straw was falling a sleep at a dinner party by 7:30, the shame was too much and I actually wished I had never woke up! I have replaced wine for running.. Watch this space

  20. So I went out for my birthday dinner, we drank sparkling water and I even turned down a birthday drink! What I really hate is trying to hide why you are not drinking alcohol, as its so shameful I don’t want people to know how weak I had become.
    Anyway its day 16, and my skin is looking clearer, I am sleeping better and can work much easier! Plus I must have saved atleast £60 since I quit 2 weeks ago. The crave to drink when I get home from work has gone, but I have a function on Wednesday so back to the shameful lies then..

  21. Just stumbled upon this site.Ihave a closet drinking husband Oon thewagon off the wagon. Now he’s lying about his drinking…..caught him red handed…..does not like the aa concept.thinking about leaving but is very upsetting after 40 yrs.I have learned on this site to be patient in the first week.if he decides to quit .has anyone had any success with anti use or other meds ?

  22. Started my first week of sobriety. Started to feel a bit shaky in the morning and used xanax to help. I told my psychiatrist I felt I was an alcoholic and he said to go to detox, wouldn’t give me any medication. I can’t miss work much and my family doesn’t know about it. Went to E.R. first night and they gave me Ativan also a prescription for chlorodiazepoxide for 5 days. This is my fourth day and I still feel a little jittery. I hope I feel better by weeks end. If not, I guess I’ll go to my primary care physician and see what he says. I didn’t realize how embarassing it feels to admit to Doctors that you think you’re an alcoholic and having aloohol withdrawal symptoms. It’s even harder to keep it from your family and co-workers.

  23. I joined AA 4 days ago and Im going for 90 meetings and 90 days sober
    I have been drinking for over 10 years solidly, and using coke and meth excessively. Today I was throwing up a lot, could be food I ate as I actually felt better yesterday. Either way feeling sick, weak, low, ill, alone, alienated, depressed and hopeless is over for me. Im 30 on Wednesday and want to be happy in my 30s because I sure as hell wasnt in my 20s. God bless AA and anyone who works to delieve the pain of the addicted. We can do it one day at a time.

  24. Today is Day 14 of being alcohol free. At 46, my habit had grown into a mix of beer and red wine (and fromerly dark rum) every night assuming work didn’t get in the way.

    There’s a long list of why I can’t drink anymore, but the short version is I needed to stop. I hadn’t specifically planned to make June 5th, 2012 my last day with the drink, but all of a sudden I was on day 3.

    I feel different. A little grouchy, maybe a lot grouchy. I’m not very humerous of late either. Anxiety at times. My upper left stomach area feels a little strange.

    I’ll probably stay quit (for my health, my job, and most importantly, my family). I want to. I need to. I am encouraged by my success at stopping smoking three and a half years ago. It`s one day at a time. One foot in front of the other.

    Travelling for work gives me lots of free time on the road in hotels. I`ve so far been using Netflix to keep me occupied, as opposed to heading to the bar. E

    No AA for me, no church (I`m a non-believer), just stubbornness.

  25. Day 1 Sunday….here we go…I plan to post my feelings throughout the day…thanks for the support. I woke up feeling like I wanted to take a big huge piece of bread and put it in my stomach and soak up every toxic drop of alcohol in my body, just so I could feel what it feels like to be totally clean. Since that is not possible, I’ll try doing it the hard way, along with all of you…one day at a time.

  26. today is day one. left work early because to hung over.
    my life revolves around drinking and im sick of it.
    slowly but surely all my interests were fading away except for drinking, which i did alone. i am or was a wine drinker. two and one half liters per day sometimes more. Just sick of it. Good luck to all.

  27. Day 1 today! Excited, nervous, I feel like you LW….just want to get rid of all the alcohol in my body. I want to wake up feeling good. Like most I didn’t think I had a problem. I drank after work to relax, if I was depressed, if I was happy, to celebrate, if I was bored and on and on. So tired of it but don’t know if I can do this. BUT I will try my hardest. I love to write so this will be a HUGE help to me.

  28. I was addicted to alcohol for 12 years. Managed to stop for 9. Went back to college, got my teaching assistant grades whilst working in school. New head arrived, got booted out. this was lasyt year. My emotions were shot to pieces and I began drinking in October 2011. Didn’t take long for things to turn to shit at home. My teens have been awful… but can’t blame them.. after numerous attempts I am now in my 4th week of sobriety. I can’t stop sleeping, I get in at least 16 hours a day, off my food and everything is a HUGE effort. I’m confused, forgetful and fuzzy headed. Have lost weight ( no bad thing really ) -but I feel heavy and lethargic. Does anyone know why this may be? . I’m 46 and have had depression for years. Have meds for that. I generally feel like poop! BUT at least I am sober!! Good luck everyone- very glad I found this site..xx

  29. Hi Hazel,
    Congrats on getting to the 4th week! Fantastic accomplishment!!
    I am only in my first week, but I am exhausted by dinner time. I figured it was because I didn’t have the rush of alcohol fuelling me.
    I have heard it takes a while for our bodies to “reset” after quitting alcohol.
    Makes sense, something we have been giving our bodies everyday is suddenly taken away. Hang in there!!!!

  30. I am fed up with alcohol controling my life I drink a bottle of wine every day which makes me sleepy and lacking energy.
    Its as if this bottle of wine is trying to stop me from having a life full of friends and enjoyment.
    It also makes me feel less of a person as I am better than this.
    Tomorrow Sunday will be my first day
    Molly

  31. My story……

    I’m 47 and have been drinking almost nightly since age 18. I rarely drank “hard alcohol”, and made the switch from beer to wine about three years ago. I would drink a bottle of wine or so each and every night. Occasionally I would take an evening off if I was just too hung over from that morning.

    My moment of clarity came five days ago. Looking at me, you’d never know I was an alcoholic. I exercise very regularly, and am a half-marathon runner. Five days ago I was in a morning group tennis lesson, and hit a Huge wall! Our coach was pushing us, and all I wanted to do was throw-up. I was so ashamed of myself. I sat there at the bench by the tennis court and asked myself, “Why? Why do you do this to yourself almost each and every day?”

    I blamed it that morning because I skipped breakfast, and that my blood sugar is just too low. That was my last lie about alcohol, and promised myself to STOP! It’s only been five days for me, but I feel great. I played my best tennis just two days ago, and can’t wait to play again tomorrow.

    I know there will be challenges. It’s wonderful to know that there are others out there that are going through similar experiences. I vow to be a good friend to myself from now on, and will replace booze with healthy eating and exercise. I feel I have been given a second chance at life by realizing what I have, and I am going to make the most of it.

    We can do this folks, one day at a time! We owe ourselves that……..

  32. Hi I’ve just completed my first week and already feel clearer headed and getting more things done. Probably like most, I love drinking and the initial buzz and relief from tiredness and edginess with work and family. I’ve been finding it takes more to get that and what I really hate is all the little things that just don’t get done as a result.
    Then last week , I had a repeat of an age old, wine fuelled, toxic family drama that I swore I would never waste another minute of my life on. Woke up wretched with a hangover . Bad tempered and worn out all day and really hope I can look back and say that was day I changed.
    It’s a great test of popularity to decide to quit drinking because I now have next weekend all booked up with social occasions involving drink. I can’t stop thinking about how to cope but don’t want to not go as all great friends who won’t bother if I drink or not.

  33. Today, June 10th, 2013 I am making my umpteenth decision to stop drinking. Nothing has worked before. My worst time is the evening, I don’t drink during the day. After 5:30 PM I just about go on automatic pilot, regardless of the regrets of the morning. Thank you for this place of hope and support. Please wish me luck.

    EVNOMON

  34. Today, June 10th, 2013 I am making my umpteenth decision to stop drinking. Nothing has worked before. My worst time is the evening, I don’t drink during the day. After 5:30 PM I just about go on automatic pilot, regardless of the regrets of the morning. Thank you for this place of hope and support. Please wish me luck.

    EVNOMON

  35. Today, June 10th, 2013 I am making my umpteenth decision to stop drinking. Nothing has worked before. My worst time is the evening, I don’t drink during the day. After 5:30 PM I just about go on automatic pilot, regardless of the regrets of the morning. Thank you for this place of hope and support. Please wish me luck.

    EVNOMON

  36. Hi!
    Good for you! Keep busy! Have a plan! Share!
    I remember those days so well. I was just like you in that I had tried to stop drinking many times, I kept trying just like you are and now it has been nearly 5 years that I have been sober!

    I wish you the best!

    Let us know how you are doing.

    Madison

  37. It’s great that you don’t feel pressure from your friends to drink, that really helps!

    Hope you are doing well. Thanks for sharing!

    Madison

  38. I posted on June 19,2012 at day 14. I relapsed after making it 33 days. I am hoping to restart the sobriety journey this week.

  39. Hi Kevin,
    How are you doing today? There is a great forum on SpiritualRiver.com, it may help you to get involved and share with others on there, so many people are going through the difficulties of early sobriety, I too have been there. I truly hope you are feeling better and I hope things start getting better for you soon. Utilize all the friends and family that you have at this time.
    Madison,

  40. 7 Days sober now, I’m in my mid-late twenties. Realized I had a drinking problem when I started passing out at 8pm from the drink before I could even make it out with my friends. Had been on a month long bender before I decided to quit 7 days ago. I’m on day 7 and I’m bored…working out every day… but I’m bored. Went to the bar yesterday to test myself, had a few diet cokes and some chicken fingers and looking at all the drunks just depressed me so I went home watched a movie and went to bed.

    The fact is I don’t want to be completely sober forever, I miss the fun I have high on the hooch. I want to be able to drink in Moderation. But I have a feeling that won’t be able to happen for at least the next month, so I probably ought to stick with the sobriety.

    Havent really had any withdrawal effects, despite the fact that Ive been drinking myself to sleep for a little over a month now. I just feel lost, like my brain is restoring itself and I’m in this grey period. Everything seems brighter though and food tastes better… and I can think more clearly and do a hell of a lot more.

    Anyways hope I make it another week.

  41. I posted above on June 19, 2012 and July 2, 2013. I finally made the decision to involve my workplace. Our employee assistance team enrolled me in a residential treatment facility which I entered on July 15. I stayed 65 days until my treatment was complete. I got out three days ago. My sobriety date is now July 9, 2013 giving me 73 days today of being clean and sober. I am now committed to attending 90 AA meetings in 90 days (3/3 so far). I lost my marriage in the process of entering rehab amid the fallout of 10 years of addiction related behaviour, and haven’t seen my 10 year old boy in 10 weeks. But I’m sober and will tackle whatever happens by doing the next right thing.

    Your will not mine be done.

  42. Ok……………I have a very odd relationship with alcohol. I hate the stuff, I hate the smell, the taste, the effect, everything. I think I’ve worked out finally that booze has become one in a long list of coping mechanisms. I used to be anorexic, Then it was easier to be bulimic, then both, followed by self harm and finally the bottle. I’ve always been one who takes the troubles of the world personally, feels at fault constantly and never good enough; the result of abuse parents. When I got married, I felt safe for a short time until I realised there was nothing ever to be done or said to have the husbands mum accept me. along came my first son, then the second. Weekends at the inlaws drained me, physically, mentally, emotionally and the signs showed themselves in anorexia. My son was abused at the inlaws house, aged 4 and a half, which blew up in everyones faces as mum in law knew, yet said nothing. Husband continued to visit his family whilst the abuser (aged 15 at the time ), still hung out there. Needless to say me and the boys stopped going, the mum in law pretended to have a stroke and we didn’t speak for 5 years. This was the time someone bought me a bottle of sherry as a thank you for ironing his work shirts. And that’s when I began to find comfort in drinking. It got worse over the course of 10 years until I realised I was addicted and finally went to the doctors who put me on a detox plan with librium. I stayed sober for 7 years, but the husband couldn’t stand it as I didn’t stop “for him”. The truth is I was hearing voices screaming at me , so was convinced I was either going mad or something was telling me to stop. The doctor reckoned it was my sub conscience telling me my body had had enough. I had another child, who I adore, went to college to train in becoming a teaching assistant, got qualifications in psychology, nlp, counselling, A levels and then got booted out of the local school when the new head arrived. Me and 11 others. BAM….Back to square one. Drinking for a year and a half, then stopped for 4 months. Called as a witness in a child protection case…BAM, started drinking. That was 3 months ago. Stopped 7 weeks ago, realised I’m still stuck in a relationship I don’t want as the hubby hasn’t changed at all. Fell ill a week ago and got no help around here, drank for one day. Off again for a week until 2 days ago when I began panicking about returning to college today to begin a degree in counselling.
    So I’ve decided this time to write a blog so I have someone to look back on in relation to my sobriety. At the moment I feel lost. I don’t want a drink but I know the feelings of worthlessness will return and when that happens, alcohol becomes a familiar buddy. This time I shall endevour to be more mindful and accepting of recovery and try not to let neg thoughts badger me. One day at a time.

  43. Well today is my first day , and I must say feeling very nervous, but after reading ever ones stories realize I am not alone, I am doing this on my own as I am too scared to tell my family in case I fail. About a week ago I woke up after a heavy night drinking and my husband started crying saying he couldn’t bare to see me drunk again, he said I became abusive towards him and said I need help, that’s when I realised I have to change I have no recollection of that night and what I said!. I am feeling very low and depressed, but I am determined to give this a go. Wish me luck, and thank you for allowing me to read your stories.

  44. Hi everyone, well its day 5 for me and I must say feeling pleased, have not had any side effects apart from feeling unsettled in my tummy and loose bowel movements, I am actually surprised at how I am doing, I did feel on day 3 like having a drink but didn’t, have not started writing down my journal yet, but will start today. The best thing is waking up knowing that I don’t have to feel bad or guilty of what I did last night, I have more energy and generally am feeling good in myself.
    Thank you for listening.

  45. I’ve got one week under my belt and feel great. I too have been battling the booze since summer of high school graduation. Had about a half dozen wake up calls prior to deciding that enough was enough. Always tried before and what then tell myself that I was taking a break, but then end up right back where I had promise not to go. I can say that one drink will always snowball into 30 beers or until I black out. There really is nothing good about booze. I am taking it day by day and reading these posts help reminder that we are not alone and that it can be done.

  46. I have been battling alcoholism since i first drank at 16. From the begining i was a blackout violent drunk. I have lost friends and problems with family. I am 41 now and have a 2 year old and now he is begining to be aware so i quit yesterday. Also i don’t want to lose custody of him, he is my heart. I will go to AA tomorrow to ask for a sponsor. I have tried it before but just didn’t work for a hard core drinker like me. This time i have to put in all i got to get sober. I used to drink vodka, the huge bottles like water and ended up overdosing in the hospital over a dozen times just to leave and drink that same day but recently I have drank two-three bottles of wine throughout morning to night because my body cant take pure alcohol anymore. I have drank for two months everyday with hardly any food and now i can hardly type or walk. My visions is bad and my body is spasming, i can hardly breath with the spasming, my skin itches and i feel like little insects are biting me. I have a friend over for support. I was thinking of tapering but my stomach and body cant take another drop so im going cold turkey. Im going to try and sleep but im scared. I am terrified i wont be able to do this. Terrified, i don’t want to lose my son. I don’t want to crash my car and kill anyone or go to jail. I have to make this happen this time. I will take all your advice. I know i deserve to be happy and free and get this demon out of me and my sons life once and for all. I will open everydoor available for help this time. Will try and sleep now and eat tomorrow. Im glad im not alone but i don’t see many posts as bad as mine. If a severe alcoholic to my degree could post how they achieved sobriety the first weeks and then long term please. Please.

  47. Hi Wendy,
    Hang in there, I feel for you, this is so tough. It’s good you are sharing.
    I really think you should get to a doctor, it is dangerous to go cold turkey after drinking so much. Do you have someone close to you who can take care of your son while you get help through the initial first days/weeks?

  48. You are not alone, many alcoholics suffer in silence, there are not a whole lot of comments on this site but there are a lot of readers.
    Please take advantage of every good friend, family member, AA group, online support groups that you can, it sounds like you realize how in need of help you are, so reach out, you need professional help to get you through. Do you have a family member you can call?

  49. I am really having a difficult time, I keep “quitting” and haven’t made it thru one week!!!! I’m so frustrated. I feel lonely. I want to have a sober first week. Help please.

  50. Hi,
    Thanks for sharing. Hang in there, I tried to quit many times before I finally got sober and remained sober. Thinking back, I had already began reaching out like you did with your comment, it’s a sure sign that you know you have a problem and want to do something about it. Let us know how you get on. Why do you want to stop drinking? Are you journaling? Writing things down helped me, it may work for you too?

  51. I am a mum of two and completely screwed up my life becuase of alcohol. I have been addicted since I was 18. Im now married and have nearly lost that. I had a car accident a week ago in a brand new car. Its day 5 today and I am so irritable. I know I have to stay clean but Ive been surrounded by people drinking the whole weekend! I get so resentful. I dont understand this because alcohol is poison for ME, not THEM, and I know this, but I still get annoyed that they are able to drink. I just keep thinking of the negative side effects of me drinking. Im on Naltima, so I start throwing up and feeling really sick when I drink alcohol. Im so scared. I WANT to get better, but this first year is the hardest. Ive been sober for five years before. Surely, now that I have kids , it would be easier for me to be sober but I just find the stress of children makes it harder…and I HATE myself for that. Thank you for this website, it really helps to know Im not alone in this awful disease!

  52. Ive seen a few queries regarding medicine for helping to stop drinking, I can suggest Antebuse (violent reaction if you drink alcohol) and Naltima (which also has a violent reaction but takes away cravings too)

  53. Hi Emily,
    Thanks for comment!
    How are things going since your last post? Let us know.
    Alcohol completely screwed up a lot of my life too so I can totally relate.

  54. Today is the day I stop drinking. I am excited to turn the chapter in my life and start feeling better and healing. I want to make this change for everyone whose life I touch. I am super excited about doing this, I am nervous about what the next few days will be like but it is what it is and I am ready and I know I am done doing things this way. Its not working for me anymore.

  55. It’s so good to hear your excitement about a new life! Well done to you. I felt exactly the same as you, it wasn’t working for me either, and here I am 7 years later, sober and it is working for me!

    Thanks for sharing, let us know how you get on.

  56. I can’t thank this site and the multiple others I’ve had my head stuck in the past 5 days. Currently on my 5th day of no alcohol. Smoked a little pot the first few days. It probably took my mind off of the cravings for alcohol. Reading and keeping busy with work. Haven’t had nearly the withdrawal I was expecting. I know it is early in my journey but with sites like this and support from friends and family I’m going to get it my best. Thank you and I’ll be reading everything I can find out there.

  57. Hi Shawn,
    Thanks you for the praise, I appreciate it! I hope you signed up for the newsletter so you don’t miss anything.
    Congrats on day 5, sounds like you are doing what works for you and that’s the only way there is. I think getting sober and clear headed is a very individual pursuit. Keep reading, commenting, sharing and doing what works for you.
    Madison

  58. Day 5… It’s 8:18pm and it’s a Sunday night. I’m lying in bed in the darknes, reading these comments because I just wanna run out my door and get to the liquor store. This is hard. I’m bored, restless and tired. My stomach slightly hurts and I’m eating more than usual…but healthier shit. I feel like I smoke cigarettes more which doesn’t make me feel good but I’m probably smoking the same or even less if I were drinking. My stomach is flat and my workouts have been good. Weed helps but not a crazy amount. Just feeling a little depressed. I know I’ll drink again I just wanna drink once a week but I’ll probably just keep this going for a while. Got a lot of time left. Gotta get my shit straight now. Good luck to all.

  59. I am on day 4 of sobriety. I turned 46 Tues. and my last drink was at 11:59p.m. Monday. I knew I was an alcoholic and had tried to cut back many times before but it didn’t work. With my birthday coming up I knew I did not want to be drinking on that day or any day after. Somehow in the days leading up to my birthday that day just became THE DAY, the day I was going to begin a new journey in life. I have been sober 3 full days now and am just beginning the 4th. It has been years since I was sober for more than 24 hours. I feel great about my sobriety. I know there will be challenges but I am so excited about looking at life and living it with sober eyes. I’m cautious about this new fragile life i’m beginning and plan to take care of it and nurture it so I can grow in my sobriety. I feel like life is just beginning for me and I can’t wait to see what the world has in store for me as a sober person. I wish the best for everyone on here. I googled 1 day sober Tues night to see if there was anything on the web for people that had just stopped drinking and am so glad to have found this site! It has been tremendously helpful and I will be checking back daily to read posts, re-read posts, and use the resources available here to keep me going!

  60. Hi Krista,
    Congrats to you!
    I know that feeling, excited about the possibilities of the future but cautious because you know it won’t always be easy. Belated birthday wishes to you! I too have a January birthday and am also in. my forties, one of the things I was most thankful for on my birthday was my sobriety, life hasn’t always been easy over the last 7 years but I can not imagine the chaos my life would be in had I not stopped drinking.
    Krista, I wish you the very best in your journey, absorb yourself with recovery information and get creative in finding a way that suits you best. I have probably taken advice from all the resources out there, even after all this time I am active in recovery from alcohol information because the connection keeps me going. Let us know how you get on and please share what is working for you.
    Best,
    Madison

  61. Day 8 and I’m nervous, I finally slept last night only waking up once, so small victories…I really want to do this for my self this time, get to the healthy place I fantasize about nightly when I’m drunk, I can do this, I’m a professional with a good job and good friends…I never realized how tired it would make me, been going to the gym every other day to work out the anxiety…but I made it through the Super Bowl, first one sober in Lord knows how many, since I was a teenager? I’m 53 now, so likely, quite a while ago…

    Two things I never realized that would happen but I guess are quite common: issues sleeping (vivid dreams, waking up numerous times, etc.), and the feeling of being really tired…I had already changed (improved) my diet a month or so ago, but the 800 lbs gorilla in my room has always been alcohol, for the last 15 years or so, it’s vodka, ugh, so I bound and determined to stare that gorilla in the eye…scary…

    My biggest fear is my wife, she medicates with wine as I do (DID! LOL! HOPEFULLY!) with vodka, I can’t say anything, my brother is 5+ years sober, so he’s a great support…

    Just scary and also really excited and hopeful all at the same time…

    Now, if I could just sleep through the night…I’ve read it’s a matter of time…

  62. Hi Chris,
    Congrats on day 8! A sober Super Bowl, an even bigger congrats! I remember so many “first time sober”, the good news is that it gets easier, it’s amazing how with time doing everything sober becomes the new normal, Its amazing how normal sobriety is for me now, time and repetition does it.
    Maybe as you grow and change in your sobriety journey, others around you will feel inspired too.
    Good luck!

  63. I am on my 6th day into sobriety. The thought of never being able to have another glass of wine is terrifying so I’m taking it one day at a time. The first few days were hard with anxiety during the day, insomnia, pains and aches all over. But spent the last week preoccupying myself w acupuncture, massage, yoga and reflexology treatments. Trying to break out of the exhausting cycle I was in of drinking 2 bottles of wine every night out of loneliness and feeling lethargic and depressed every morning. Praying every day that I can get through another day without a drink and stay focused on why I need to get sober. Today I actually woke up feeling clearer than I’ve felt in a while, despite only sleeping 5 hours. Best wishes to all on this site!! Let’s get back into the driver seat!

  64. Hi Madison –

    Thanks for the support (15 and counting)! Last night was interesting – my wife actually screamed at me in bed last night while I was trying to sleep.. I think she misses her drinking buddy…says I’m not supporting her…

  65. 15 days is awesome!!
    I found that in the early days of me giving up drinking, people I knew were somewhat uncomfortable about it, it kind of shines a light on other peoples drinking habits and they don’t like that especially if their drinking is problematic. If I think back, it was rare for me to befriend non drinkers, I totally preferred people like me because then I felt normal! No one that I know who still drinks really cares that I don’t drink, infact they sometimes forget.
    My husband gave up drinking with me and I know that was for the best, I can imagine it would be difficult if one of you stops and the other doesn’t though I know couples who have done that and it has worked for them.
    I think when you take away alcohol you do need to replace it with something creative that will make you feel good, satisfy you and give you a natural boost, I did a 5k in early sobriety and I felt amazing.
    Keep us posted!
    Thanks

  66. Hi Kelsey,
    I feel your pain, I remember those awful thoughts and feelings, terrified of what my life was going to become, who I was going to be, what everyone else was going to think, the night sweats, anxiety, absolute panic and fear, gosh time does amazing things, I haven’t felt that bad since those awful early days of first giving up alcohol. I exercised, made lists of goals, read everything about sobriety and starting over that I could, listened to podcasts as often as possible, wrote in a journal and then began a blog, in other words I took major action even though I felt awful at times, I cried a lot, the shower was my favorite crying place! I walked a lot, I isolated quite a bit, whatever it took to get through the day without a drink.
    I have more resources to share that I am sure you will relate too so check back for my new posts.
    Hang in there! Get familiar with this site and utilize all the resources I have included.
    Keep us posted!

  67. Hi Kelsey –

    Looks like you’re a week or so behind me, so I just got out of what you are feeling now. It has gotten significantly better for me – the feelings of anxiety of not drinking and thinking about not drinking does go away – took me about a week. I totally understand that – that was the hardest part of my recent sober Super Bowl experience. But I made it, and you will, too.

    I’ve found exercise and researching healthy eating to be a good distraction and positive actions for me. I’ve made a list of goals as well, I keep a little check marks on my desk calendar here at work – each morning, I come in an check off the previous day as being a successful sober day. It’s a little thing, but it’s become a big part of my morning routine.

    I love to cook, so after the gym when I go home, I pick some healthy thing to play around in the kitchen and experiment. (I’m a chemist, so it fits for me.)

    We’re both early in this, so one day at a time. I’m finally sleeping well – that’s really recent (and welcome) development. My body has figured out it CAN sleep without a fifth of vodka, so small victories. Most importantly, the craving has subsided significantly – the body and mind can recover from this. Hang in there!

    Chris

  68. Hi Madison –

    28+ days and feeling good, very good, in fact. More energy than I’ve felt in years. Been poking around your site – thank you for the resources. I need to find some support for the wife issues – her anger has only gotten worse, when she drinks, she gets mad at me saying I’m tying to make her feel bad/guilty for drinking, (um, because I was reading a book or watching TV? I did those while drinking…), or that I must be all ‘high-and-mighty feeling’ since I stopped, no, quite the opposite…when she’s sober, she’s fine and apologetic…it’s the irrational anger that has really surprised me…thanks for the help and the support!

    Chris

  69. Hey!
    28 days is amazing! Good for you!!!
    If your wife has a problem with her drinking she is the only one who can help herself, right now she is having to face her own alcohol consumption and related behavior because she is in stark contrast to you not drinking.
    There was a time when I was drinking, my husband had to work away from home and was only home on weekends, suddenly my addiction was completely in the spotlight; he always used to drive si would have a few drinks before going anywhere, if I drank too much when he was around it was like, oh well we just enjoyed it a bit too much last night, it’s easy to ignore problem drinking when you are drinking with someone, when you are dong it alone you can’t rationalize it as well.
    Your wife will take her own path and go through her own process, hopefully she will see the benefits you are realizing from not drinking and she will follow in suit. There is no doubt that this will be tough.
    My hubbie stopped drinking too, I don’t know if I could have done that if the situation had been reversed but it made all the difference.
    Just keep doing what you need to so that you don’t drink, that is really the most important thing to stay sober. Let your wife know why you are not drinking, and why it is so important to you, it may help her understand better, ask for her support.
    Congrats again for 28 days! What is helping you each day? Please share.

  70. Hi Madison –

    Thanks for all the support – it’s very appreciated! The number one thing that motivates me on a daily basis is the goal not to wake up hung-over the next day. Sounds silly, but when I’ve woken up every morning (at least, the very vast number of mornings) for the last 10? 12? 15? years hung-over to some degree (from metallic taste in my mouth and a mild headache up to legally still drunk), the joy of waking up knowing I’m alcohol-free has really been inspiring and eye-opening.

    From a longer-term perspective, it’s the realization that I can actualize the re-occurring fantasies I’ve had while drunk for the last year so, namely the fantasy of living a sober life…Again, I’m not sure I’m capturing my feelings very well in words, but when it’s 1:30 a.m. on a Wednesday night, and I have to be at work at 8:00 a.m. and I’m throwing back yet another one to get some sleep, my overwhelming fantasies were to wonder what it would be like to be sober in the morning, to not have to plan business dinners or trips to the store or to the gym around giving myself enough time to drink that night, or to wonder which liquor store to go to on the way home from work because I went to the other one yesterday and heaven forbid, even though they all know my name, I wouldn’t want them to think I drink too much, lol…and I now I know I can make that fantasy a reality, and the way to do that today is not wake up hung-over tomorrow.

    What I have struggled with is keeping myself busy, cooking, cleaning, reading, gym, anything to get out of the routine of drinking. Getting into the car to drive home after work always elicits an rush of excitement as I unconsciously anticipate the first sip of my vodka drink de jour, so I always have to stop for a moment to calm myself and collect my thoughts…

    And, as much as I love my wife, I have accept that I need to do this for myself, she has to pick her own path, when she confronts me (when drunk) about whatever she is projecting upon me at the moment (OMG, did I act like that, too? Oh, yeah…), I just tell her this is for me, for my health, my sanity, and I love her…it eats me up inside because I want to beg her to share my motivations and I know this would be easier as two, but as selfish as it sounds, I have to take care of myself right now as that’s taking all my energy at this time…

    Thanks!

    Chris

  71. Hey,
    Being hangover free is the best! It’s a good goal to have. I don’t know about you but the anxiety I felt most days was intensified when I was hungover, I can still remember that frightful feeling and that still motivates me today.

    You talk about trying to stay busy, it’s so true when you first stop drinking that time seems to go by so slowly, I busied myself with all sorts, cooking, exercising, the same kind of stuff as you, it actually served as a good time to develop new hobbies and try things I hadn’t done before.
    Thanks for sharing Chris!

  72. Hi Madison –

    Day 60! As the saying goes, a journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step. I’m only a mile or so down the road, but doing OK.

    Chris

  73. Coming up on my 5th night sober after 32 years of drinking, and last 10 of those years have been spent drinking heavily. My wife can’t stop. she didn’t drink last night, but is on her way home from work tonight with a bottle. I won’t drink, but it’s hard to watch her drink while I remain sober. I feel bad.

  74. Hang in there, Mike, I’m early into this process and it’s a daily process. I totally understand the wife drinking issues – we’re the same way. I’ve been sober for 79 days, my wife was drunk again last night. I’ve gotten to the point where it doesn’t necessarily bother me to watch her drink as in I don’t crave it, but it’s gotten really hard to be around her when she starts to get drunk, slur and act tipsy…painful as I see me in her…

    Are you staying busy? Things you can do to make the evening go by? Just hang in there, not an AA person (my brother is), but they are absolutely right in you take it one day at a time, certainly at first…

  75. I’m a couple days sober now and feel great. I know the real test comes this weekend when that is usually a very tempting time for me. I can’t worry about that now though. Today is a good day and a sober one. I enjoy this feeling 100 times more than the feeling of being out of control while drinking, not to mention the 2 day hangover and the crazy emotional turn and negative thinking. Life can be awesome and so simple. Eat, exercise, get some sun, be around people, and get rest. AA has been great for me, but I have to make it a point to go and participate. I recommend checking it out if you haven’t yet. Good luck to everyone who is sharing and working on making your life great.

  76. I’m 7 days sober today ! I never looked at myself as an alcoholic, I drank every night, beer, red wine, rum, but always used the excuse it was to bring me down after a stressful day at work. I’ve stopped drinking before for short periods of time, telling myself that I just need a break to let me liver have a rest, always knowing that I would eventually go back to drinking, I honestly never thought I had a problem. Even 7 days ago when I started my latest break from drinking that’s all it was, a break. The last few days I’ve realised that I do have an issue and I can’t just have the odd drink now and again, I know that if I decide to have a drink again, within a week I’ll be back to drinking every night. So, I’ve decided enough is enough, I will never drink again, I’ve no idea how hard that will be at the moment, all I can do is take each day has it comes, but I’ve made a promise to myself today that I will NEVER drink again and I will not break that promise. I know lots of people in my situation that think drinking 5 or 6 beers everynight of a bottle of wine everynight is OK, that’s what I always thought.

  77. I am on day 3 of being sober. I started Thursday this week which is significant because usually I would quit on a Monday and make it a day or two and by the time the weekend came I was like, screw it. Started on a Thursday this time and I’m done. I want off the hamster wheel. Drinking has consumed most of my life so far drinking 5-6 glasses of wine, beer and liquor most nights. I quit a year ago around my 43rd b day and made it 60 days. It’s different this time. I don’t want this to consume me anymore. It’s a choice. My choice.

  78. Today is day one. I have always napped from 4 to 5 then skipped downstairs looking forward to starting a gourmet dinner for my hubby, watching Food Network and sipping my chardonnay until the bottle was gone. Every night. I am so tired of waking up every morning feeling bad and guilty and not much remembering how the evening ended. Or going to a party and acting foolish. So I decided yesterday to quit. It’s funny that I am even proud that I made it from 5 to 8:15 withiut a drink. Can’t wait for tomorrow to see if I feel better yet.

  79. Day 8 no booze, day 6 no weed. In all honesty, I’m miserable this week. I keep trying to remind myself there must be a reason people do this, and there have to be better days ahead-that these first weeks will be the hardest. But lack of sleep, no appetite, constant irritability, anger, frustration, depression….isn’t this what I was trying to get away from by getting sober? It’s hard to see any light at the end of the tunnel right now, but I feel that it took so much courage to even make the decision to try and get sober in the first place, that to stop now would be catastrophic. Reading this post and all the replies helps though.

  80. 55 years old and am once again attempting to quit drinking. I drank every day from age 30 to age 47. And drank heavily, but not every day from 18-30. At age 47 I quit cold turkey at home, ended up in the hospital with full blown DT’s, hallucinations, everything. Alcohol is my drug, no others. Spent 8 days in the hospital then and the a 30 day IOP…to summarize age 47 till now:
    * longest period of sobriety, 11 months.
    * over 7 hospital admissions with a BAC of .37-.42
    * 2 OUI’s
    * 30 day Inpatient
    * In and out of AA
    In a nutshell, I’m a mess! My wife held our life together as we were self employed. By the grace of God and wonderful family, I’m still alive. So, I went back out drinking “casually” in March, after a 12 day hospital stay in November 2015. As usual, it started slow and recently ended with me planning a two day bender just 3 days before Christmas, how insane is that?
    So, I’m 4 days sober now, feeling physically and emotionally like poop…I can’t stop crying, but, I going to beat this thing, I know I am. I’m only sleeping about 4 hours a night. My brain wants to sleep, my cravings are moderate, knowing that my brain thinks it would help, but my soul knows it would kill me. This is it for me. I’m committed to AA and a daily recovery program. I’m a good man. I deserve a better life and God knows my family deserves better. Hang in there all. Merry Christmas

  81. I’ll have a week tomorrow. I’m feeling better physically but mentally , I’m drained. frustrated that I can’t find many recent sober blogs. according to this, the last person to post here was Christmas of last year. Surely everyone did not fall off the wagon in 2017. I like this blog. I hope to see some updates and more posts from 2017.

  82. Debbie,

    I’m out here! I hope you are still reading…

    This will be day 5 for me. I read so many things about ‘finding a reward system’ and could never think of something…spa day? Not my thing. New clothes?

    I finally found one! I have a very long banister in my room that I always thought would look amazing with tea lights…
    Anyway, each night when I come up to watch a show before bed I grab a tea light candle out of my booze cupboard and place it on the banister (foot of my bed). My first lighting will be at 14 days.

  83. I woke up this morning and decided to quit drinking. I have been a six pack+ a night drinker for ……oh, 33 years or so. I am what I think they call a functioning alcoholic in that I have a job and manage to get through the work day just fine, but after work it’s the first thing I want. I have not had issues with the law or anything like that. I have a wife that loves me and hates the fact that I drink, I do not get physical with her, but can say and treat her hurtful and she deserves better having stuck with me. I’m going to do this! I have promised her and myself a thousand times……..sigh, here I go, I’m going out and buying the book ” The 30 day sobriety solution” and any other book I see that I think will work. I need to quit. Wish me luck!
    My biggest fear is the physical effects in the first couple weeks, so I will be looking to learn what to expect and hoping I don’t fall into full blown detox.

  84. Glad this post reopened even if gone quiet. Hope it can come back. I’m on day 7 as a functioning heavy drinker. Typically 4 to 6 drinks a night with no hangovers and weight maintained. Sadly 10 year history of anorexia and bulimia and addictive personality which was under control with alcohol as my controlled s
    Discipline. Day 7 no desire to drink and just had my first bulimic binge on sweet cereal and crisps which I’d never eat in years. I did it as I was falling asleep andexhausted and cycle of needing something to control kicked in. This is grim. Taking all my strength to even type.

  85. It’s crazy to see you saying exactly what I’m thinking. You struggled the exact same way I am right now and I have spent so much time running lately and just thinking. It’s freakishly amazing how accurate your feelings were to mine right now.
    I’m not through my first week yet but I have about 3 more days until so. I’m still fairly new to being 21 and it’s like the blessing and curse of a lifetime being able to legally drink. I hid my drinking and how frequently I could do it for many, many years. It just started to seep into my personal life and I used to manage it publicly pretty well but now people have become concerned because of a few slip ups.
    Anyways I’m kind of doing this month long break only to see if I can do it without messing it up. If I can, I’m going back to it. I know control is a myth with addiction. As in, I think I can start drinking again and actually cut myself off after a certain amount of drinks. Me making it through this month will help me totally once and for all see if I truly am suffering through the addiction. I get if you probably think I’m crazy in that thought process but I haven’t had a reason to stop drinking until it started to hurt the ones around me. I still can’t find a total reason to stop drinking for myself though. I might have to if I don’t make it through the month though bc I hate that I have hurt others. Wish me luck on these endeavors and I hope you all keep fighting it if that’s what betters you.

  86. Good for you Erica, whatever happens, you have an awareness of your problem and that is half the battle. For many years I didn’t truly acknowledge that I had a drinking problem, it was a long time into my drinking career that I actually googled “alcoholic” even though the thought had crossed my mind. Unfortunately, when problems begin to arise due to your drinking, they will definitely continue, I suppose it becomes about just how much of that you can bear to live through. keep us posted.

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