I was at work the other day, my colleague and I were chatting about different things and it came out that in her family were two alcoholics, one of which was in recovery and had been sober for many many years. It was amazing. I had sat at my desk many a time just wanting to say ‘I am a recovering alcoholic, can you tell?’ but I never did. I always thought to myself, oh how could I possibly tell anyone that, what on earth would they think of me, there is no way they would understand, I would feel vulnerable and less than them for my shameful condition. So what a surprise when I heard that. There was no big deal made of it, it was just said in conversation. I was shocked and I still am and it makes me question the way recovering alcoholics keep their recovery such a secret. In some ways I actually felt a bit put out, I was like, oh, well I maybe my problem isn’t that bad after all, any self pity I had for myself and thoughts of how different I was and how others could never possibly understand me had to go out of the window too. Alcoholics and recovering alcoholics are all around us. Some are obvious, usually the alcoholics, it is easy to spot them I have always found but the recovering ones are the ones who are really good at hiding their secret. It felt good to know I wasn’t alone and was truly an eye opening moment for me.
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